Drop Dead Gorgeous Page #11

CHLORIS KLINGHAGEN enters, small bag in hand.

CHLORIS:

(loud whisper)

Amber - Amber, c'mere.

AMBER:

Please, Mrs. K, I got so much Vaseline

on my teeth, I'm gonna be smilin' for

a year.

CHLORIS:

No. Here.

Chloris pulls a simple BLACK LEOTARD from the bag.

CHLORIS (cont'd)

It's nothin' special, but talent like

yours doesn't need to hide behind

sequins.

AMBER:

Mrs. K--

CHLORIS:

You're... you're special and... Ah

hell, go out there and kick some

Leeman ass.

Amber, overcome with joy, gives her a big hug.

CHLORIS (cont'd)

Not so hard, sweetie. I heard

somethin' snap...

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM

ON STAGE:
Leslie Miller, in uniform, performs an

amazingly sexy cheer as TWO SINGLET-CLAD WRESTLERS

wrestle (One is boyfriend, Pat.).

LESLIE:

Roll him over --

(clap, clap, clap)

Lay him flat

(clap, clap, clap)

Pin his shoulders

(clap, clap, clap)

To the mat

(clap, clap, clap)

Roll him over, lay him flat, pin his

shoulders, to the mat! Yeahhhh!

She JUMPS, KICKS and ends with SPLITS. APPLAUSE!

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - LATER

Michelle Johanson is on stage, sitting on a stool,

wearing all black. She smiles warmly. Then, with one

sweep of her hand across her face, her smile drops.

She's dead serious.

MICHELLE:

(without emotion)

Fade in...Earth. The year is two-

thousand twenty-four. The question on

everyone's mind:
What is...Soylent

Green?

She sweeps her hand back across her face and she's "in

character," pained, near death, and overly dramatic.

BACKSTAGE - LEFT - CONTINUOUS

Amber, now in the leotard, talks to Iris. Michelle

performs from "Soylent Green" in the b.g.

AMBER:

(loud whisper)

Mrs. Clark, why are you doing this to

me? Why're you pretendin' you don't

know what's goin' on?

IRIS:

Amber, I'm sorry. I really am. But

you know the rules. All talent

costumes hafta be okay'd by Gladys

before the pageant.

AMBER:

But, doesn't someone taking your

costume so you can't compete, overrule

that rule?

IRIS:

Sorry. I-I don't make the rules.

AMBER:

This, this... This is bullshit!

IRIS:

Amber Atkins! That is not American

Teen Princess language!

AMBER:

Good, kcause this isn't an American

Teen Princess Pageant - it's, it's

Nazi Germany!

Amber storms off.

IRIS:

(shaking head)

Where do they get this stuff...

INT. BACKSTAGE

CAMERA FOLLOWS AMBER as she storms over to BACKSTAGE -

RIGHT where Gladys watches Michelle ON STAGE.

AMBER:

Mrs. Leeman?

GLADYS:

(turning)

Huh?

AMBER:

I-I'm wearin' this costume. I'm, uh,

I'm gonna do my talent tonight.

GLADYS:

Oh really - I don't think so.

(suddenly aware of camera)

Uh, Amber, I hate to be the bearer of

bad news, but rules state that a

costume must be okay'd at least a week

in advance. And this...

(pointing to costume)

This is why we have the rule. My

goodness gracious, I couldn't allow a

neckline this low on stage. We have

kids in the audience.

AMBER:

But, you - I mean... It's not my

fault. I-I... Please? I didn't do

anything wrong...

Amber starts to cry.

MICHELLE:

(climaxing)

That's why... I must say...

(raising arm upward)

Soylent Green... is... people.

She doubles over. She's given it all. APPLAUSE.

GLADYS:

Oops, that's my cue.

Gladys starts out on stage as Molly Howard, dressed like

a red, white and blue cowboy, runs up next to Amber.

She's twirling toy guns on her fingers.

MOLLY:

Wish me luck.

AMBER:

(drying her eyes)

Good luck, Molly.

One of Molly's guns flies off her finger. She goes to

retrieve it.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM

Molly is line dancing, occasionally taking "pretend"

shots into the air. It's incredibly repetitive and dull.

BACKSTAGE - CARL'S "LIGHT AND SOUND" BOOTH - CONTINUOUS

As Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy Breaky Heart" PLAYS in b.g.,

Carl, the janitor, sets plastic army figures on fire with

a cigarette lighter.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM

Gladys is center stage. Molly Howard walks off crying,

having just finished her routine. POLITE APPLAUSE.

She's still spinning her guns, again one goes flying.

GLADYS:

Thank you, Molly.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL/STAIRWELL - DRESSING AREA

Lisa, top hat, tails, giant "I LOVE NY" button - and

others try to console a CRYING Amber. Becky continues

singing O.S.

LISA:

(arm around Amber)

Oh, Amber...

AMBER:

(can't catch breath)

I-I-I-I-I-, j-uh-j-uh-just wanted to

compe-e-e-e-ete.

LISA:

I can't believe this is happenin'. I

can't believe she said you couldn't...

Getting an idea, Lisa starts to take off her jacket.

LISA (cont'd)

Amber? Here.

AMBER:

(still sobbing)

"Here," wh-wh-what?

LISA:

My jacket. Take it kcause, y'know, I

got my costume okay'd before the

pageant. You can wear it.

MICHELLE:

Oh man, Lisa, I wouldn't do this.

LESLIE:

(to Lisa)

They're never gonna let you perform

naked. I asked.

LISA:

Shut up, yous guys. Look, Amber, I'm

not gonna win. And let's be honest, a

family only needs one "Liza" and you

know Peter's got much better legs than

me.

AMBER:

Your parents'd kill you.

LISA:

Oh c'mon, I love kem, but you know

they only had me kcause Peter needed a

kidney.

AMBER:

Lis, I want to, I really do, but...

Oh, I can't.

LISA:

Then do it for Peter. Mrs. Leeman

used to call him a "skinny little fag"

when he'd bag her groceries. He'd pop

his Nancy-belt if his old jacket

somehow, I don't know, got her back.

AMBER:

Yah?

LISA:

Oh-you-beccha.

Amber hugs her and takes the jacket.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - STAGE

Gladys guides Molly off the stage.

GLADYS:

Now, it's with overwhelming pride that

I introduce contestant number six, who

also happens to be president of her

class - two years running - a member

of the honor roll and the new

President of the Lutheran Sisterhood

Gun Club - Rebecca Ann Leeman!

STAGE GOES BLACK. SPOT HITS BECKY, who sits at the edge

of the stage, holding a mic. She's head to toe sequins

in her poodle skirt, sweater, saddle shoes, etc.

BECKY:

(talking over music)

I don't know how many of you know

this, but I've got a very special

fella in my life - that's right, I

do... And if nobody minds, I'd like to

sing a little song, just for him.

SPOT FOLLOWS as Becky stands and walks center stage to

what appears to be a COVERED MANNEQUIN. TAPED INTRO TO

"I Can't Take My Eyes Off You."

BECKY (cont'd)

You're just too good to be true.

Can't take my eyes off of you. You'd

be like Heaven to touch. I wanna hold

you so much. At long last love has

arrived and I thank God I'm alive.

Becky removes the sheet, revealing a MANNEQUIN dressed

like JESUS as he appeared on the cross: long hair, beard,

crown of thorns, loincloth. The ARMS ARE STUFFED so they

move freely. (Hands of stigmata.)

BECKY (cont'd)

You're just to good to be true. Can't

take my eyes off of you...

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