Drop Dead Gorgeous Page #12

Becky TALK-SINGS - a la William Shatner's "Rocket Man" -

and DANCES around the Jesus mannequin doing the jitter-

bug, the twist and a slow dance (his arms on her

shoulders).

DURING THE SLOW DANCE, THE LOIN CLOTH SLIPS AND BECKY

MUST HOLD IT UP - GIVING THE APPEARANCE OF GRABBING HIS

CROTCH.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - BACKSTAGE

Iris approaches Lisa who's given her outfit to Amber.

IRIS:

C'mon, Lisa. You're up next.

LISA:

I quit. And, uh, since my costume,

y'know, was okay'd a month ago? I'm

givin' it to Amber.

Amber breaks a smile.

Taped music ENDS. APPLAUSE. Gladys, mic in hand, joins

Becky for a big hug.

GLADYS:

Boy, I'd hate to follow that. Wow!

Becky exits, pulling the wheeled Jesus behind her.

GLADYS (cont'd)

Voice of an angel, that one.

Iris runs self-consciously out on stage, whispers in

Gladys' ear, then runs back off stage.

GLADYS (cont'd)

...Uh, I was just told that contestant

number seven, Lisa Swenson, has quite

the pageant.

CROWD REACTS.

GLADYS (cont'd)

Well, these things happen. At any

rate, we still have one more

contestant - number eight, Amber

Atkins.

Gladys exits. A taped hip, hot DRUM BEAT starts.

Suddenly, Amber glides into CENTER SPOT. (Now wearing

Lisa's costume, sleeves rolled up.) Her feet burst into

an amazing routine. The loud drum beats seem to fly from

her hands and feet as they punctuate the rhythm. There's

no glitz, just unbelievable skill. It appears effortless

as she floats around stage. Like watching Michael

Jackson moon walk for the first time, you can't take your

eyes off her. She concludes, center stage, with the

GREATEST THIRTY SECONDS OF HER LIFE. The audience goes

WILD! Amber takes bow after bow - they love her. Gladys

enters quickly, mic in hand.

GLADYS (cont'd)

Okay, okay, okay! Well, now, it's

finally time to say good-bye to our

judges, so they can go make the

toughest decision of their lives.

PAN TO JUDGES. They look nervous as hell. A relaxed

Hank sniffs from a paint soaked bag.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - CLASS ROOM - NIGHT

Judges stare nervously at the camera - clip boards in

front of them. Hank's LOUD BREATHING from the paint

soaked bag is obviously getting on John's nerves.

DOCUMENTARIAN (O.S.)

So who get's the crown? How are you

going to figure this all out?

JOHN:

Uh, we're gonna, y'know, compare

scores and uh, figure out a-a winner.

kCause we don't know the winner yet...

I mean, I-I don't know who Jean and

Harold picked. No idea. Did Gladys

send you in here?

HANK:

I know the winner! I know the winner!

I know the winner!

JOHN:

No you don't! Shut your goddamn

mouth, you son-of-a-b*tch!!

Nerves shot, John suddenly LAUNCHES himself across the

table at Hank.

HAROLD:

Wait a second.

JOHN:

You shut it! You goddamn retard!

Hank freezes, then starts to wail!

HANK:

EE-AAAYEEEE-AAAAYOUIAAAEEEEEEEE!

HAROLD:

Come on! Hankey here can't help it if

he was born crazier than a shithouse

rat!

Hank stops crying and goes back to the bag.

JOHN:

For f***'s sake, why didn't ya leave

him with a sitter?

Hank begins crying again.

HAROLD:

Real nice. You know the sitter's

dead.

DISSOLVE TO:

BACKSTAGE - DRESSING ROOM

Girls, in gowns, sit in silence. Becky and Amber sit at

opposite ends of the room. There's obvious tension.

LESLIE:

So, anyone talk to Janelle?

AMBER:

Yah-I brought her some flowers this

morning. She's in the room next to my

mom. She's super happy.

Girls ad-lib SHOCK.

TESS:

She's happy?

LESLIE:

Why happy?

AMBER (cont'd)

Oh -- the blow to her head made her

deaf...

Girls ad-lib "Oh, I see. Okay-then." etc. Another LONG

BEAT of SILENCE follows. Becky gets up to re-touch her

make-up.

BECKY:

(losing it)

Oh, good Lord! What're they doin'?

Lettin' the retard count votes?!

Contestants stare at her in shock. Iris enters.

IRIS:

It's time, ladies.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM

Judges are back. Gladys is center stage. Girls enter

and form a line behind her. TAPED AMERICAN MEDLEY

STARTS.

GLADYS:

Welcome back, everyone. Judges. Our

Second Runner-up and winner of a fifty-

Taped fanfare. Leslie bounds forward, grabs her trophy,

stands to one side.

PAT (O.S.)

You rule, Leslie!

Audience laughs. Leslie waves.

GLADYS:

Our next prize, a seventy-five dollar

scholarship --

Audience ad-libs amazement.

GLADYS (cont'd)

...will be awarded to the First Runner-

up.

Taped DRUM ROLL. Contestants (except Becky) take hands.

Iris gives Gladys an envelope and trophy.

GLADYS (cont'd)

And the First Runner-up is -

(opening envelope, face

drops)

Contestant number eight, Amber Atkins.

Ad-lib audience shock and disbelief. Contestants are

stunned. Amber steps forward, humbly takes the trophy

and stands beside Leslie. Audience finally quiets.

GLADYS (cont'd)

And finally, the moment I know I've

been waiting for...

Iris hands Gladys a LARGE TROPHY and envelope. Mary

Johanson is wheeled out wearing sash and tiara.

GLADYS (cont'd)

With a scholarship of five-hundred

dollars, courtesy Leeman Furniture,

and all expenses paid for next weekend

when she'll be competin' for the title

of Minnesota American Teen Princess...

Taped drum roll. Gladys opens the envelope.

GLADYS (cont'd)

Our new Mount Rose American Teen

Princess is contestant number - ah

heck, she's my daughter - number

seven, Rebecca Ann Leeman!

Polite audience applause. Becky rushes forward. Gladys

RIPS the tiara and sash off Mary, places them on Becky.

BECKY:

Oh, thank you so much!

AUDIENCE:

Loretta and Annette watch on.

ANNETTE:

Sh*t.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - STAGE

The ELDERLY MAN/MAYOR, from earlier scene, enters and

sings to a tape as Becky takes her victory walk.

ELDERLY MAN/MAYOR

(tune of "Miss America")

"Here she is, Our Mount Rose American

Teen Princess. Look at her, doesn't

she look fine. Our hearts swell big,

as we look at her. Our Mount Rose

American Teen Princess."

EXT./INT. HIGH SCHOOL - LATER

AMBULANCE pulls up. Mary Johanson, unconscious, slumped

in wheelchair, is brought out and put in. Amber and

Loretta wheel Annette out. Paramedics put her in, too.

ANNETTE:

We was robbed.

LORETTA:

Okay. Take her purse.

AMBER:

Bye mom.

ANNETTE:

We was robbed.

AMBER:

It's okay.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - MOMENTS LATER

Amber faces camera as ambulance pulls away.

AMBER:

Oh, Mom's okay. They're just givin'

her a ride back. She almost blew

outta the back of Loretta's pick-up on

the way over.

LORETTA:

Thank God for bunge cords.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - MOMENTS LATER

AMBER:

(tearing up)

...Yah-well, at least, y'know, I got

to perform. And Mom got to see me.

(crying)

I guess number eight only worked for

Diane Sawyer...

Loretta puts her arm around Amber. They walk off as

Leslie and Pat approach.

LESLIE:

Hey-hey, I'm Second Runner-up! Whooo!

I got second place!

PAT:

Third.

LESLIE:

Huh?

Lisa passes by with her parents. They look pissed.

LISA:

No, it was worth it. Amber shoulda

won.

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