Drop Dead Gorgeous Page #6

BECKY:

Giver her your tray, Brett. You're

holdin' up the line.

Brett looks at Beck, then at Amber, not wanting to make

her clean his tray.

BRETT:

Uh...

BECKY:

Give it to her!

AMBER:

Here, I'll take it. It's my job.

BRETT:

NO...

(looking at Becky)

It's all right. I got it. Don't

worry about it.

He takes the sprayer from a surprised Amber and starts to

clean off his own tray. Becky can't believe his

defiance.

AMBER:

Well, you're supposed to put it in

the...

Becky THROWS her tray on the counter spraying Amber with

food as she storms off.

BRETT (cont'd)

Oh man, you got leutefisk in your

hair.

AMBER:

Then it must be Wednesday.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY

Same scene as "funeral bun" explanation.

IONA:

Leutefisk is Cod Fish that's been

salted and soaked in lye for a week or

so. It's best with lots-a butter.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - KITCHEN

Same scene. Brett removes the offending leutefisk.

BRETT:

So, uh, I-I'm not really busy Friday.

I just said that - y'know.

AMBER:

I know.

BRETT:

So if, uh, you wanted to do

somethin'...

AMBER:

AMBER/BRETT

Huntin' season.

Shocked at the coincidence, they share a laugh.

BRETT:

Well, uh, I'm cuttin' out early today

to do a little duck huntin'...but, uh,

maybe I could call you tonight.

AMBER:

Yah-sure, fine...fine.

BRETT:

Okay...well, bye.

AMBER:

Bye.

Amber smiles, gives a shy little wave - then, to camera.

AMBER (cont'd)

Oh, God - you don't think Becky saw

you guys, do you?

(nervously looking around)

Look, you just shouldn't be in here...

DOCUMENTARIAN (O.S.)

It's okay. Doreen gave us hair nets.

AMBER:

No, listen.

(whispering as she exits)

We shouldn't talk here. Stop by my

house tonight, okay?

She looks around and motions them to rush off.

EXT. HIGHWAY NEAR TRAILER PARK - EVENING

From the CREW VAN we pass the crappy trailer homes that

are off the Highway. (Patsy Cline's "King Of The Road"

PLAYS on the radio).

EXT./INT. ATKINS TRAILER - EVENING

Camera approaches the trailer. SIGN on the door reads

"Annette's Family Hair Care."

Inside, the kitchen has been turned into a mini hair

salon. Annette gives Loretta, neighbor, mid-50's - a

bouffant.

LORETTA:

What do you mean, they take out her

butt?

ANNETTE:

(seeing camera in window)

Oh, Jesus H. Christ!

LORETTA:

Are we on "Cops" again?

ANNETTE:

You could be quiet.

LORETTA:

Hi.

ANNETTE:

Hi.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. ATKINS TRAILER - MOMENTS LATER

ANNETTE:

It's just the guys that are...you

know, makin' the movie about the

pageant. I told you about kem.

LORETTA:

Oh, naw. Hi.

ANNETTE:

This here's Loretta.

LORETTA:

I tell Annette, I says, "You talk to

me durin' my stories, you might as

well be talkin' to the wall."

(then)

You guys want a beer?

DOCUMENTARIAN (O.S.)

No, thank you. Is Amber here?

ANNETTE:

No. You just missed her. Amber got

called in to the bone gardens tonight.

You just missed her. She's in a

helluva mood today, anyways.

LORETTA:

Say, yous boys been to the Leeman's?

ANNETTE:

Loretta, shut it.

LORETTA:

Y'know, if you have, you got all the

pictures of the winner you need.

ANNETTE:

Shut it up, Loretta.

LORETTA:

Oh, Christ, it's true.

Annette begins to comb out Loretta's hair.

LORETTA:

(drinking beer)

Let's just say who should win, who

deserves to win is Amber.

ANNETTE:

(mumbled to self)

Why don't you paint a big red target

on your ass, Loretta.

LORETTA:

She's the prettiest, y'know. The best

damn tapper. The most smartest...

ANNETTE:

"Most smartest?" Oh, that's good,

Loretta. Make sure you get a picture

of that. "Most smartest." We're

cuttin you off and sendin' you home.

Annette takes Loretta's beer, starts to push her out.

LORETTA:

Well, excuse me, Annette, but I'm

braggin' up your kid, here.

(to crew)

Amber's gonna be the next Diane

Sawyer, y'know...

ANNETTE:

I'll be right back. See ya later.

CAMERA follows Annette and Loretta.

ANNETTE (cont'd)

They're makin' a movie, here, goddamn

it.

LORETTA:

All right, they're makin' a movie.

ANNETTE:

You don't know where this is gonna...

LORETTA:

I got a hairdo.

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT./INT. ATKINS TRAILER - EVENING

Loretta holds onto the door frame so Annette can't push

her out.

DOCUMENTARIAN (O.S.)

What makes you think that Becky's

going to win?

LORETTA:

Why do I think Becky'll win? You're

talkin'...

(to Annette)

Don't pinch!.

(back into camera)

You're talkin' kbout the richest

family in a small town. It's front

page news when one of kem takes a

sh*t.

(she laughs hard)

Can one of yous boys give me a ride

home?

ANNETTE:

Don't fall for it. She lives two

trailers down.

LORETTA:

So? Be real easy.

ANNETTE:

Go on home, Loretta. Come on. Go on,

the party's over.

LORETTA:

Anyone?

INT. LARSON FUNERAL HOME - HALLWAY - NIGHT

A small sign on the door reads: "EMBALMING - Please

Knock!"

PUSH INTO ROOM. Amber, back to us, frantically applies

blusher to an OLD WOMAN. Another BODY, covered with a

white sheet, is on the embalming slab. The top and brim

of a HUNTING CAP can be seen. She TURNS AROUND to see

the crew.

AMBER (cont'd)

(surprised)

Ahhh! Je-sus-Christ-on-a-cross!

(catching breath)

Look, number one rule in a funeral

home - never sneak up on the livin'.

You never know who could have an

embalming needle or skull saw in their

hand. Mr. Larson's son learned that

the hard way - he's buried next to my

Grandpa!

Amber turns to the slab to continue working. She pulls

off the SHEET to reveal BRETT, handsome football player,

still wearing his hunting plaid.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - LATER

DOCUMENTARIAN (O.S.)

AMBER:

(covering real emotions)

Upset about Brett? Nah. Hazard of

the trade. I don't really have time

for guys anyways. It's weird, though.

He took it right between the eyes.

Don't often see that.

EXT. GUN RANGE - DAY

Becky thumbs bullets into a 12-gauge pump shotgun.

DOCUMENTARIAN (O.S.)

So you know, Brett just got shot in

the head.

BECKY:

(cool as a cucumber)

He did? Well, huntin's

dangerous...So, anyways, my mom gave

me this 30-aught for my sixteenth

birthday...

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - LATER

Amber wipes her eyes when Mr. Larson bursts in.

MR. LARSON

Amber, I need Stella now!

SUPER:
MR. LARSON, OWNER, LARSON FUNERAL PARLOR

MR. LARSON (cont'd)

The family's steamin' like a cow pie

in July. Said she didn't look nothin'

like the picture they gave you.

Amber turns from Brett and closes the coffin.

AMBER:

Sorry. I just thought she might not

wanna meet her Maker lookin' like a

cheap whore.

MR. LARSON

Well, your "cheap whore" is this

family's "lovin' mother."

(pointing at Brett)

The Clemens said to make him look like

he just came from snowmobilin'. Pink

cheeks, and...

AMBER:

(starting to mist up)

-- red nose and ears. I know, I know.

Mr. Larson PULLS Stella's coffin out.

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - LATER

An obviously upset Amber puts make-up on Brett.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes