Drop Dead Gorgeous Page #7

AMBER:

Sorry I couldn't talk today

kcause...I'm scared, okay?

(deep breath)

I open my locker right after first

period and there's a picture of Tammy

Curry taped inside.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - LATER

Amber holds up a snapshot of a SMILING GIRL on a

THRESHER.

AMBER:

This was written on back.

She turns the picture over to reveal, "YOU'RE NEXT!"

EXT. MOUNT ROSE - STREET

TWIN OFFICERS lean against their car. One prepares to

pack some snuff.

TWIN OFFICER #1

Oh-yah, helluva way to go, there.

After some extensive investigation, we

figure the Curry girl musta been

drivin' and smokin' and KABLEWEY!

TWIN OFFICER #2

(holding a Skoal tin)

Not enough left of her to fill a tin.

He puts a pinch between his cheek and gum.

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - LATER

A visibly upset Amber still applies make-up to Brett.

AMBER:

Yah-sure, Tammy liked to driver her

dad's thresher - she said the heavy

vibration helped her think, y'know?

But I know for a fact she only smoked

after a good drive. You ask me or

anyone else who isn't scared to talk

about it - Tammy was murdered.

(holding back tears)

God, I bet Diane Sawyer never had to

deal with crap like this...

(to crew guy)

Toss me "Caucasian #5," would ya?

A crew guy walks IN FRAME and hands her a make-up jar.

AMBER (cont'd)

Man, I can't wait for fishin'

season...

Mr. Larson bursts in, white as a corpse.

MR. LARSON

Amber...

AMBER:

No, don't say it. Another stray

bullet to the head.

She adjusts Brett's red plaid hunting cap.

AMBER (cont'd)

I'm gonna need more caps.

MR. LARSON

You hafta go home. There's some kinda

emergency at the trailer park.

AMBER:

Relax, that's my ma's code for, "Bring

home milk and a carton-a Luckys."

MR. LARSON

No. Loretta called. There's been

a... a fire.

She grabs the keys and RUNS OUT.

EXT. TRAILER PARK STREET/INT. HEARSE - NIGHT

Amber drives fast and furious as we come to what's left

of her trailer. All the NEIGHBORS are out drinkin'

beers, eatin' food and watchin' the excitement.

AMBER:

Oh my God - no! Is my mom okay? Was

she home?

Hearse SCREECHES to a halt. We hear a THUD, then MOANS

from in back. Amber jumps out. Camera follows, a la

"COPS." It's pandemonium with fire trucks, neighbors, an

ambulance, etc.

AMBER (cont'd)

Mom! Mom!? MOMMMM!

Loretta runs up to Amber as TWO FIREMEN approach.

FIREMAN #1

You family?

LORETTA:

No, she's just screamin' "Mom, Mom!"

kcause she's got Tourettes... She's

Annette's kid, dipshit.

AMBER:

(to Loretta)

Is Mom okay?

LORETTA:

She's alive, sweetie.

AMBER:

Where is she?!

LORETTA:

She's right over there.

Camera pans over to see a semi-conscious Annette as they

load her stretcher into the ambulance, shut the doors and

start to pull away. Amber runs after them.

AMBER:

Mommmm! I'll be right behind you in

the hearse!

LORETTA:

Don't let that worry you, Annette!

EST. SHOT - FARMINGTON MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - NIGHT

INT. HOSPITAL - ANNETTE'S ROOM

A DOCTOR, Amber and Loretta stand beside Annette, who's

got an I.V., bandages and her LEFT HAND wrapped and

ELEVATED.

DOCUMENTARIAN (O.S.)

So, doctor, is this sort of an unusual

injury here?

DOCTOR:

Oh you betcha, this was a doozy.

Right now, our chief concern is to

stabilize Annette, then, in surgery,

remove this here.

Removing BANDAGE to reveal BEER CAN, still held in her

hand.

AMBER:

Oh, Mom, it's so ugly.

ANNETTE:

Ruined a brand-new pair of Lee Press-

ons.

(weak)

Well, I sat down for a beer and KA-

BLEWEY! Next thing I know, somethin'

blows through my kitchen window. Next

thing I know, I'm ass up in Loretta's

flower bed.

EXT. TRAILER PARK - DUSK

SHAKY VIDEO of a 15 year-old rocker KID from the NECK

ROCKER KID #1

(Beavis with a MN accent)

Yah-dude, put another f***in' book

under it.

ROCKER KID #2 (O.S.)

Don't say "f***in'." My ma's got the

windows open.

CAMERA MOVES, then steadies. We see all of Rocker Kid

#1. Rocker Kid #2 runs into the shot with his guitar.

ROCKER KID #2 (cont'd)

kKay-dude, hurry. We gots like two

f***in' minutes left on the battery.

ROCKER KID #1

A one...two...one-two-three...

SUDDENLY Annette's' trailer EXPLODES behind them! Rocker

Kids turn to see a BODY (Annette's) FLY through the air.

ROCKER KIDS:

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!

INT. HOSPITAL - ANNETTE'S ROOM

ANNETTE:

(to Amber)

I shoved your tap shoes in my jeans

before I was blown outta the house,

Honey. Check with the guy who cut my

pants off. He should have kem.

AMBER:

Mom, uh, about that...I-I'm-oh God...

Amber starts to cry and runs out.

ANNETTE:

Oh-Jesus-Mary-n-Joseph, she's

pregnant!

(calling after her)

If you are - come back, sweetie.

Mommy wants to talk, then KILL YOU!

LORETTA:

(running after Amber)

Annette, why don't you just see if

there's any beer left in that can and

relax a bit.

INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - NIGHT

Loretta and Amber face off.

LORETTA:

You're what?!

AMBER:

I-I'm quittin' the pageant.

LORETTA:

I heard you, I was just tryin' to

scare you into changin' your mind. Oh

for Chrissakes, Amber, the woman clung

to your tap shoes while flyin' through

the air like a Goddamn lawn dart!

AMBER:

Oh God, I'm dead...

A candy striper approaches them.

CANDY STRIPER:

Hey, lil' Miss Sad-pants and her

friend Serious Sally, how kbout some

nice cool mints to turn those frowns

upside-down. "S."

LORETTA:

(to candy striper)

D'ya think a nice cool mint'd help if

I shoved your head up your ass?

Fear sweeps over the Candy Striper - she bolts down the

hall! Loretta puts an arm around Amber and starts to

walk down the opposite direction.

AMBER:

So, what do I say?

LORETTA:

Simple. Just say, "Mom, I know you

sacrificed everything - relationships,

dreams - your tummy, ass and thighs -

all to bring me into this world. All

so I could have tap lessons and be in

the pageant - the same one you were

in. But, y'know what? I'm quittin'."

There. Easy as pie.

AMBER:

Oh my God. I'm so dead...

LORETTA:

Yeah, you betcha...

INT. HOSPITAL - ANNETTE'S ROOM - NIGHT

Follow Amber in past the now crying candy striper.

ANNETTE:

(throwing mints)

Go on! Get out!

AMBER:

Mom, look, don't say anything. First

of all, I'm not pregnant.

Amber sits on the bed. Annette grabs her shirt.

AMBER (cont'd)

Mom!

ANNETTE:

I ain't lettin' go ktil you tell me

what's up. I'm reaching' a point

where I'd kill someone for the

nicotine on their fingernails.

AMBER:

(deep breath)

Okay. Yesterday I...I got this

picture. So I kinda, y'know, I'm

thinkin' no. I'm gonna, I-I-I'm gonna

quit the pageant.

ANNETTE:

What?!

She hits Amber with her beer-canned hand.

AMBER:

Ow!

ANNETTE:

(to camera)

Would yous boys excuse us a second?

Loretta, you too.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL - ANNETTE'S ROOM

SHOT THROUGH the window. Amber paces around Annette's

bed.

AMBER:

Nice mouth you got there, Mom, but I-

I'm not goin' through this again.

ANNETTE:

You're not goin' through this again?

You? You're not the one who knows how

Jiffy Pop feels.

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