Duets Page #4

What are you

normally?

Okay, fne!

That's what I get for talking

to your basic underachiever.

Which way is

the interstate, exactly?

About two miles west.

- What are you gonna do?

- Hitch.

Hey, um,

which way's west,

exactly?

Is that it?

A few miles up the road

is the Side Track.

It's a truck stop

It's where you get off.

Well, I appreciate

the ride this far.

It might take you some time

to get another ride,

this being Utah

and you being colored and all.

Them shoes you're wearing

don't help any.

Uh, I'm not sure I quite

understand what you mean.

Them's prison shoes.

Standard issue when they drum you out.

Worn a pair or two myself.

Yes, I'm sure you have.

- What were you in for?

- An error in judgment.

[Laughing]

Hey, babe, we was all in for an

error in judgment. [Laughs]

Yeah, I suppose we were.

Some say the world

will end in fre.

Some say in ice.

What do you think?

Heh. Hard to say,

Cold War bein' over and all.

Your money or your life.

Get the f*** out.

I apologize. I do.

It's just that

the only skill I have is singing.

Learn a trade.

I have.

This is it.

[Rock]

I'm on a Mexican radio

I'm on a Mexican

Whoa, radio

[Humming]

- [Tires Screeching]

- [Continues]

[Tires Screeching]

Hello!

Hop in.

- [Continues]

- Come on, come on, come on. Hop in.

- Where you going?

- I don't know.

What the f***

do you care?

- Hop in.

- Your eyes are weird.

- You on something?

- 'Scuse me?

- You look funky.

- Are you a cop?

- No.

- Okay, then sh*t or get off the pot.

Where you going?

Chicago.

Where you going?

Nowhere. I'm actually out

buying a pack of cigarettes.

[Laughing]

What's in Chicago?

My mother's in Chicago.

Oh. Okay.

Well, they probably got

cigarettes there. Hop in.

Reach in that cooler back there.

Pop us a couple of cervezas, por favor.

I tried those Styrofoam jobbies

the last three times.

You think it's cost-effcient?

It is not.

[Clicks Tongue]

Ah. There you go.

Gracias.

- You're not having one?

- No, thank you. It's against the law.

- You should loosen up, my friend.

- You think so?

Mmm. Hell yes.

You know, in fact,

this whole country should loosen up.

It's not even a country

anymore anyway.

It's just

a big strip mall.

McDonalds, Pizza Huts,

Wendys.

Big strip mall

from coast to coast.

- [Sniffs]

- You're on cocaine?

I have a cold.

- You're flyin'on something.

- I'm flying on freedom.

[Squeals]

I scored some bennies off some

shadow in this K-bar last night.

- I think it was Tucumcari.

- Shadow?

Yeah. It's K-talk.

It's karaoke.

Uh, I may need you

to drive later on.

I don't know how.

- You don't know how to drive?

- No, I don't know how to drive.

How bizarre!

Is this a result of heredity?

Environment.

I've lived my life in tiny rooms.

So have I, man.

All owned by

major chains.

- Chains?

- Ramada, Sheraton, Motel 6. Chains.

Huh. I'm no stranger

to chains myself.

Well, now, aren't we lucky

that we met?

[Laughing]

[Knock On Door]

- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

I decided to come.

I got the room next door.

Just like that?

How'd you fnd me?

Information.

I only had to call three hotels

before I found you.

Wow! Do you always

get a king-size bed?

- Huh? Uh, yeah.

- I love a king-size bed.

The only time I ever get to

sleep in one is if I'm with one

of the headliners from the show.

- Look, um, Liv...

- Tom Jones. He was the best.

He let me stay in his room for

the whole month he was there last year.

He was really nice to me.

So, you, uh,

slept with Tom Jones.

- It wasn't like that. We didn't do that.

- Oh, I see.

You spent a month

sleeping with Tom Jones...

in his Vegas hotel room,

and you never had sex?

No.

Well, what exactly

did you do for Tom?

I kept him from being lonely,

like I'm gonna do for you.

We're family, Daddy. I've waited

my whole life to spend time with you.

I'm not cut out for this.

Just like that?

Look, can we just

deal with this later?

I gotta go

to work.

- Singing?

- Yeah. I'm a singer.

That's what I do for a living.

This is a karaoke bar.

Yeah, with a ton

of prize money.

Can I watch you work?

No.

Why?

Because

you wouldn't understand.

How would you

know that?

I just know it.

- You think I'm stupid?

- No.

Look, I do a solo,

that's all.

- [Coughs]

- Well, well.

Sleeping Beauty stirs.

Where am I?

Missouri. Six more states

and we're home free.

There's a layer of puke

on the side of the car...

that looks and smells

like rancid guacamole.

I told you to take some aspirin

last night, but you were,

like, totally trashed.

I've gotta get home.

You don't have a home, junior.

I bet you got a headache.

Sort of, yeah.

You alcoholics

are all the same.

I'm not an alcoholic.

I'm not.

Whatever you say.

I'm not the judge and jury.

I got my own problems.

Ooh. Do I detect a note

of interest this morning?

I told you I'd be nice to you

if you took me to California.

I tried to be nice, but you were

like permanently at half-mast,

- Like a nation in mourning.

- Listen,

I can drop you somewhere and,

you know...

I can drop you at the bus station

or the interstate.

- Wherever you wanna go,

I can drop you.

- I wanna go to California.

No, um,

I mean here, now.

I mean in

the immediate vicinity.

We gotta paint the cab.

And what would lead you to think

I would paint my cab?

We gotta paint the cab because the dildo

who's drilling your ex-girlfriend...

is gonna be

coming after his half.

He can have it

as far as I'm concerned,

but not until

we get to California.

If you think I'm gonna drive you

to California, you're delusional.

Well, it's better than crawling back

on your hands and knees...

to those two losers,

isn't it?

[Sighs]

I like the Cotton Candy Fuchsia,

don't you, Billy?

- Very daring.

- I must say, you are a connoisseur.

That is our top of the line

signature hue.

Now, is this part of

the $99 special?

Alas, quality

does not come cheap.

That is a creme de la creme

paint job...

for a creme de la creme

price.

The Cotton Candy series

goes for 173.99, tax included.

Okay. We'll take it,

right, Billy?

Oh, defnitely.

Excellent choice.

How'd you like to pay for that?

Cash, check,

credit card?

Uh, well, we're a little short

on money right now, sir,

but I'll consider it an honor

and a privilege to suck your dick.

[Machinery Whirring]

[Rock]

- Pushing it kinda hard, ain't you?

- Then you drive.

- I told you. I don't know how.

- I'll teach ya.

- No, man!

- Come on. It's easy.

I'm sure.

I just don't wanna do it.

A guy your age doesn't know how

to drive, it's ridiculous. Ah...

[Tires Screeching]

Islands in the stream

That is what we are

No one in between

- How can we be wrong

- Oh, sh*t.

- What?

- It's duets night.

And we rely on each other

- Uh-huh

- Can you carry a tune at all?

- Oh, I do okay.

- Yeah? Back me up?

I-I don't know.

It's... It's...

- Oh, hello there.

- Hi.

- Uh, what's the money tonight?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes