Duets Page #5

- It's $50.

- Each?

- Where do you think you are,

pal, Austin?

- Huh.

- No, the real big money's

up in Omaha this Saturday.

- Oh? How much?

- Five grand.

If you win here,

you qualify.

Well, show me the menu.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Can you handle this?

- "Try A Little Tenderness," please.

- Uh-huh.

Thank you very much.

Might think about slowin' down

on those, pal.

What are you, my mother?

Come on.

- What's the, um...

- This is the screen

I was telling you about.

The words

just come up there,

and as they change color,

you just sing along with it.

- As they change color, you just sing.

- Don't worry about it.

Okay, uh, I'm gonna have

to take a rain check, pal.

Why? Don't worry about it.

Just lip-synch or something.

- I'll carry the whole thing.

- No, no.

- I'll carry the whole thing.

- Really, really, I can't.

Oh, look, it's duets night.

Live in the moment.

I will drive you anywhere

in the goddamn country...

if you will

do this for me.

I swear to God.

- Come on. How you gonna beat that deal?

- [Music Starts]

Come on.

Just stand there.

That's all I need.

Please.

Oh, she may be weary

And young girls

they do get wearied

Wearin'that same old

shaggy dress

Yeah, yeah, yeah

But when

she gets weary

She gets weary

Try a little tenderness

- Tenderness

- Yeah, yeah

- Yeah, yeah

- Hey now

Come over here.

Come here. Come on.

I know she's waiting

Just anticipating

The things

- That she'll never

- Never

- Never, never possess

- Never, never possess, no

While she's there waiting

Ooh, she's waiting

Just tell me what to do,

Reginald, please.

Try a little tenderness

That's all

you gotta do

[Audience Applauds]

It's not

Just sentimental

No, no, no

No, no, no, no

She has her grief and cares

Yeah

- But the soft words

- You seen these guys before?

- They are spoke so gentle

- All right.

Oh, makes it easier

Easier

Easier to bear

- Ha!

- Oh, now you won't regret it, no, no

Young girls

they don't forget it

Love is their only happiness

- Yeah

- Yeah, yeah

- [Woman] Yeah!

But it's all so easy

All so easy

All you got to do

is try a little

- Tenderness

- Try a little tenderness

Yeah

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

- You got to squeeze her

Don't tease her

- [Audience Clapping In Rhythm]

Never leave her

You got to, got to, got to

got to, got to, got to

Try a little tenderness

- Hey, hey, yeah, yeah

- Hey, hey, yeah, yeah

- Hey, hey, all you got to do now

- Yeah

- Ohhhh, you got to

- You got to

Squeeze her

Don't tease her

- Never leave her

- Never leave her

Na, na-na, wa, na-na, ow

Try a little tenderness

- Yeah, ohhhh

- Ooh, now, oh

Don't lose her now

You got to squeeze her

Don't tease her

Never leave her

[Scatting]

Try a little tenderness

- Ow! Whoo!

- Whoo!

[Cheering, Applause]

That was great!

Oh. Yeah.

You boys were great.

Me and Scott here were gonna

give it a shot tonight,

but after hearing you,

we ain't even gonna try.

Hey, thank you.

Superb.

[Car Horn Blaring]

- Wahhh...

- That's excellent, excellent, excellent.

Mmm. Mm!

- Try passing somebody.

- Are you crazy?

No, no, no.

Now, on the left, of course.

On the left, left, left, left.

Always on the left.

Always pass on the left,

Reginald,

unless, of course, the right

is the only thing open.

Cardinal rule

of American business.

- [Tires Screeching]

- [Todd] Oh, very good!

Very smoothly done!

- Hey, hey, hey!

- [Laughing]

You've done this before,

huh, hotshot?

This is good. You don't want

to pass this up. Pass him.

- No. Todd...

- Pass it!

- Oh, f... Pass it, loser!

- Hey!

- Hey, hey.

- How can a guy who sings

like you be such a loser?

Pass it!

- That's it! Yeah!

- Whoo!

Keep going.

Yes! Oh!

You're doin'beautiful!

[Todd Muttering]

- [Horn Blaring]

- Whoo!

[Reginald Screaming]

[Both Laughing]

Whoo!

[Coughing]

Whoo!

[Reginald Laughing]

[Panting]

Yours?

Oh, Reginald.

[Chuckles]

You have little hidden corners.

- Never mind that.

- Oh, what do you do with this thing?

- You don't wanna know.

- Oh, uh, you're wrong about that.

Show me.

No.

No more driving lessons

if you don't.

Fine. " No more

driving lessons."

Do you want to depend on people

for rides for the rest of your life?

- Come on. Show me

what you do with the gun.

- You don't want to know!

Get out!

Fine.

Hey... No...

Fu... F***.

No, it's not fne.

It's pathetic.

You sing like an angel, and you don't

even know how to drive a car?

That is what is wrong

with the entire culture, Reggie.

It's why I...

me personally...

why I destroyed the breeding ground

for an entire race of turtles,

all in the name

of a water slide, Reggie!

[Chuckles]

You're crazy.

I think you

need some sleep.

- Get some sleep for me.

- Sure.

- You're right.

- Really?

- Really?

- Sure.

Let's go.

[Coughing]

She'll expose you

when she snows you

Off your feet with the crumbs

she throws you

- She's ferocious

- [Patrons Whistling]

And she knows just what

it takes to make a pro blush

All the boys

think she's a spy

She's got

Bette Davis eyes

And she'll tease you

She'll unease you

All the better

just to please you

She's precocious

And she knows just what

it takes to make a pro blush

All the boys

think she's a spy

She's got Bette Davis eyes

And she'll

tease you

She'll unease you

Just to please you

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She'll expose you

When she snows you

And she knows you

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She's got Bette Davis eyes

[Patrons Cheering,

Whistling, Applauding]

- Yeah!

- Amazing.

- [Liv] I was so scared.

- [Man] Oh, no, baby. You were great.

You know, you could go real far

with the right coaching.

Oh, my God, what are

you going as?

What exactly

are you doing here?

- I wanted to see you sing.

- Is that right?

You gonna enter this

little contest of ours?

I don't know. What do they

call it, anyway? " Karate-okee"?

Looks a little stupid.

Could I win a free drink or something?

- [Man Chuckles]

- [Ricky] And who are you?

Oh, well, this is Buddy.

Buddy is the champion around here.

He wins the prize money

every time, don't you, Buddy?

- Well, that's what they say.

- [Chuckles]

Oh, and this here is Clark.

This is Buddy's manager.

Manager? You must be

some singer, Buddy.

That's right.

Buddy here's the best on the circuit.

- Looks like my boy's gonna

bring home the bacon again.

- Your boy?

Oh, I get it. You two guys

are lovebirds. Is that the deal?

Who are you, mister?

I'm a guy who's willing to

bet you a thousand bucks...

on top of the purse...

that I can blow

your ass offstage.

What do you say?

All right.

No, Buddy.

Something don't smell right here.

Come on, Buddy.

It'll be fun.

Marlene, you got yourself

another entry.

Goddamn it, Buddy.

Let's just get the bartender

to hold this bet.

I'll hold it.

You really

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