Dumbbells Page #6
Check it out.
Peach and raspberry
cobbler pie.
Wow, um...
Chris.
I...
Hey, Manny,
what's up, buddy?
If you're such
a superstar player,
how come you can't dunk?
Kids, right?
Well, uh, Manny,
as you can see
I don't exactly have
the best knee anymore, so...
Well, actually used to be able
to dunk pretty well
back in the day.
Then prove it.
Are you bullying me?
I got ten baseball cards
that says you can't.
Ooh!
All right, okay, Manny,
why don't we
stop bugging Chris
and thank him for
coming out today.
I guess since his girlfriend's
rescuing him
I'll leave him alone.
Especially since
he's chicken.
Manny!
No, Rachel,
it's totally cool.
Ten baseball cards, huh?
Listen, you do not
have to do this.
I think I do.
Dotted line, Manny.
Chris, Chris, Chris,
Chris, Chris, Chris...
Please, God, don't make me
look stupid
in front of Rachel
and all these kids.
Chris, Chris, Chris,
Chris, Chris, Chris...
Guess who.
Hey, baby,
I got out early!
Hey.
Look at you.
Chris.
Chris, wait up.
Chris.
Yeah, what's up?
I'm sorry.
Look, I meant to tell you,
but...
Don't be silly.
Look, it's totally cool,
I just um, I uh,
what time is it?
I promised a friend
that I would uh,
help him move today.
I gotta,
gotta get to IKEA.
Chris.
Rachel, I get it,
you're engaged.
I mean, he seems like
a really nice guy, successful.
- What is that, Armani?
- Chris.
I just came to help you
with the kids, right?
Babe, you ready?
It was nice
meeting ya, Cliff.
Yeah, you too,
it was a great surprise.
Thanks for helping her out
with all those kids,
they can be, you know,
semen demons.
Which one's your whip,
by the way?
Yes, for sure.
Okay.
Wow, what an angry
little Asian man.
Uh, okay, well, Mr. Guy, is it?
Is it Guy, Gee?
Guy.
Guy, all right.
You don't look French
but I thought
I'd give it a shot.
If you were I would
kick you out immediately.
Listen, that was my boss
and he actually saw you
coming in and uh,
congrats, he thinks you look
like a movie star.
An action hero, actually.
"No, Daddy, I love you."
Does that mean
I have the loan?
No, no, God no.
The loan? No, that's, no,
you're not even close
to getting a loan.
You have no assets
to speak of.
It's kinda embarrassing,
actually, at your age.
Uh, no, there's not a lot
we can do for you,
in fact you owe a ton of people
a ton of money,
so let's hope
they're not Italian.
I don't think you understand.
I really need this loan.
You really need it?
I didn't know that,
I didn't.
Hey, Charlie!
Hey, we got a guy in here
Yeah!
Charlie's gone,
Charlie actually was fired
three weeks ago.
I think that office
is actually empty.
But let's be honest,
look in the mirror.
You, you know,
you were turned down
before you even left
your apartment.
And I said "apartment"
because there's no way
you have a house, right?
That's been taken away,
so...
No, this is, this is
an unfortunate incident
in that you actually
got into my office and um,
and I feel, I don't know.
I am feeling something,
but I think I'm just hungry.
# When I'm alone
# That's when I'm most
dangerous, serious #
# On my own clock ticking
like a metronome #
# A feeling that
you'll never know #
# Unless you been
delirious #
Hey, Chris.
It smells good in here, man.
Uh, look, I really like you,
you know that.
You're a nice guy.
I wanted to tell you this
in person, all right?
Look, you're evicted, man.
- What?
- Yeah.
It hurts me, bro,
I'm sorry.
Listen, are you
cooking in here?
Listen, they're towing
your car downstairs,
four black guys.
Great.
It's crazy.
Awesome, thank you.
You uh, you been
working out?
You look nice, man.
Real good.
Incline?
What?
Can I borrow your
"Titanic" DVD?
No!
You still owe me
"Sleepless in Seattle".
I'll get it to you.
You like chicks, right?
Yeah.
Great.
Keep the damn DVD,
Harold.
Harold l...
Surprise!
Kim.
What are you...
What are you doing here?
What do you mean
what am I doing here?
I've come back to you.
Kim.
Uh, you should go.
Why?
Chrissy-poo.
I know that you think I
wasn't very nice to you
in the past.
But we were kids then.
We're not kids anymore.
That tickles.
By the way, Daddy said
$100,000?
Uhhuh.
Okay, Kim, Kim, Kim!
I need to know why now?
Why not now,
I'm horny.
No, Kim, why now
all of a sudden
do you wanna be with me?
and when you got hurt
I was scared.
I didn't know what to do,
it was hard for me.
You were scared?
I was the one...
I had my walls up.
And now they are way down.
Ah, okay.
Oh, there's my big boy.
There he is, okay.
Kim, stop, stop,
Kim, Kim!
I need to ask you,
have you ever apologized
to anybody for anything
in your entire life?
Ew.
So this is my eighth
voicemail now.
Jack, no one
has heard from you,
I'm starting to get concerned.
Where are you?
Call me back.
Jack?
Jack?
I have a weapon and I
will f*** you up, man!
I am a weapon and I
will f*** you up more!
Jack?
Chris?
Jesus.
Holy cow, what happened
to your hair?
I know it's them!
Supercuts?
Turn the lights off,
get down.
Why?
Were you followed?
I don't know.
Did you talk to anyone?
My grandmother.
What-, what are you doing?
Let me see your teeth.
Why are you touching me?
Stop touching me.
Ow, ow, Jack!
Say "ah".
Ah, ah, ah!
Ah!
You're clean.
What the hell?
Listen.
I know this all
seems crazy.
But remember my money manager,
Saul Rosenblattsteinberg?
The guy who got arrested
for the Ponzi scheme?
Well, years ago I introduced
Saul to the cult.
So this weekend
the damn cult kidnapped me
because Saul stole over
three million dollars from them.
They thought I was in on it.
You have forsaken us all
again.
I'm so sorry,
Benevolent Leader.
I didn't know Saul was a crook.
He took me for everything,
and you bastards sill owe me
six million.
Stop!
Nobody's gonna take you
seriously, Phil.
You are a total f*** up.
We tire of your resistence
and your incompetence.
The end of days
is upon us.
The spaceships are coming
and you shall learn your lesson.
No, no!
Not the hair, no!
It's probably for the best
for a while.
I gotta deal with
these a**holes.
Chris, sorry I couldn't
turn things around.
Our beautiful Kimmy and Chris,
salute.
Cheers, Sir.
Oh, Chris.
Guess what?
Daddy's getting us a condo.
It is so beautiful,
I've seen pictures.
And there's an extra bedroom
so we can convert it
into a closet for me.
Nothing is too good
for my princess.
Is it, princess?
No.
Look at her, Chris.
Isn't she a princess?
She is definitely a princess.
I am a princess!
Here we are, Princess.
Fat free, sugar free,
gluten free vegan lettuce cups
minus the rice
and the oil,
which I'm sure is much tastier
than the chef always makes it.
Jeffry.
Thank you so much, Sir.
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"Dumbbells" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dumbbells_7352>.
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