Dumbbells Page #6

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Check it out.

Peach and raspberry

cobbler pie.

Wow, um...

Chris.

I...

Hey, Manny,

what's up, buddy?

If you're such

a superstar player,

how come you can't dunk?

Kids, right?

Well, uh, Manny,

as you can see

I don't exactly have

the best knee anymore, so...

I still don't think you can.

Well, actually used to be able

to dunk pretty well

back in the day.

Then prove it.

Are you bullying me?

I got ten baseball cards

that says you can't.

Ooh!

All right, okay, Manny,

why don't we

stop bugging Chris

and thank him for

coming out today.

I guess since his girlfriend's

rescuing him

I'll leave him alone.

Especially since

he's chicken.

Manny!

No, Rachel,

it's totally cool.

Ten baseball cards, huh?

Listen, you do not

have to do this.

I think I do.

Dotted line, Manny.

Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris...

Please, God, don't make me

look stupid

in front of Rachel

and all these kids.

Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris...

Guess who.

Hey, baby,

I got out early!

Hey.

Look at you.

Chris.

Chris, wait up.

Chris.

Yeah, what's up?

I'm sorry.

Look, I meant to tell you,

but...

Don't be silly.

Look, it's totally cool,

I just um, I uh,

what time is it?

I promised a friend

that I would uh,

help him move today.

I gotta,

gotta get to IKEA.

Chris.

Rachel, I get it,

you're engaged.

I mean, he seems like

a really nice guy, successful.

- What is that, Armani?

- Chris.

I just came to help you

with the kids, right?

Babe, you ready?

It was nice

meeting ya, Cliff.

Yeah, you too,

it was a great surprise.

Thanks for helping her out

with all those kids,

they can be, you know,

semen demons.

Which one's your whip,

by the way?

Yes, for sure.

Okay.

Wow, what an angry

little Asian man.

Uh, okay, well, Mr. Guy, is it?

Is it Guy, Gee?

Guy.

Guy, all right.

You don't look French

but I thought

I'd give it a shot.

If you were I would

kick you out immediately.

Listen, that was my boss

and he actually saw you

coming in and uh,

congrats, he thinks you look

like a movie star.

An action hero, actually.

"No, Daddy, I love you."

Does that mean

I have the loan?

No, no, God no.

The loan? No, that's, no,

you're not even close

to getting a loan.

You have no assets

to speak of.

It's kinda embarrassing,

actually, at your age.

Uh, no, there's not a lot

we can do for you,

in fact you owe a ton of people

a ton of money,

so let's hope

they're not Italian.

I don't think you understand.

I really need this loan.

You really need it?

I didn't know that,

I didn't.

Hey, Charlie!

Hey, we got a guy in here

who really needs a loan.

Yeah!

Charlie's gone,

Charlie actually was fired

three weeks ago.

I think that office

is actually empty.

But let's be honest,

look in the mirror.

You, you know,

you were turned down

before you even left

your apartment.

And I said "apartment"

because there's no way

you have a house, right?

That's been taken away,

so...

No, this is, this is

an unfortunate incident

in that you actually

got into my office and um,

and I feel, I don't know.

I am feeling something,

but I think I'm just hungry.

# When I'm alone

# That's when I'm most

dangerous, serious #

# On my own clock ticking

like a metronome #

# A feeling that

you'll never know #

# Unless you been

delirious #

Hey, Chris.

It smells good in here, man.

Uh, look, I really like you,

you know that.

You're a nice guy.

I wanted to tell you this

in person, all right?

Look, you're evicted, man.

- What?

- Yeah.

It hurts me, bro,

I'm sorry.

Listen, are you

cooking in here?

Listen, they're towing

your car downstairs,

four black guys.

Great.

It's crazy.

Awesome, thank you.

You uh, you been

working out?

You look nice, man.

Real good.

Incline?

What?

Can I borrow your

"Titanic" DVD?

No!

You still owe me

"Sleepless in Seattle".

I'll get it to you.

You like chicks, right?

Yeah.

Great.

Keep the damn DVD,

Harold.

Harold l...

Surprise!

Kim.

What are you...

What are you doing here?

What do you mean

what am I doing here?

I've come back to you.

Kim.

Uh, you should go.

Why?

Chrissy-poo.

I know that you think I

wasn't very nice to you

in the past.

But we were kids then.

We're not kids anymore.

That tickles.

By the way, Daddy said

you could start at 100.

$100,000?

Uhhuh.

Okay, Kim, Kim, Kim!

I need to know why now?

Why not now,

I'm horny.

No, Kim, why now

all of a sudden

do you wanna be with me?

Chris, I've always loved you

and when you got hurt

I was scared.

I didn't know what to do,

it was hard for me.

You were scared?

I was the one...

I had my walls up.

And now they are way down.

Ah, okay.

Oh, there's my big boy.

There he is, okay.

Kim, stop, stop,

Kim, Kim!

I need to ask you,

have you ever apologized

to anybody for anything

in your entire life?

Ew.

So this is my eighth

voicemail now.

Jack, no one

has heard from you,

I'm starting to get concerned.

Where are you?

Call me back.

Jack?

Jack?

I have a weapon and I

will f*** you up, man!

I am a weapon and I

will f*** you up more!

Jack?

Chris?

Jesus.

Holy cow, what happened

to your hair?

I know it's them!

Supercuts?

Turn the lights off,

get down.

Why?

Were you followed?

I don't know.

Did you talk to anyone?

My grandmother.

What-, what are you doing?

Let me see your teeth.

Why are you touching me?

Stop touching me.

Ow, ow, Jack!

Say "ah".

Ah, ah, ah!

Ah!

You're clean.

What the hell?

Listen.

I know this all

seems crazy.

But remember my money manager,

Saul Rosenblattsteinberg?

The guy who got arrested

for the Ponzi scheme?

Well, years ago I introduced

Saul to the cult.

So this weekend

the damn cult kidnapped me

because Saul stole over

three million dollars from them.

They thought I was in on it.

You have forsaken us all

again.

I'm so sorry,

Benevolent Leader.

I didn't know Saul was a crook.

He took me for everything,

and you bastards sill owe me

six million.

Stop!

Nobody's gonna take you

seriously, Phil.

You are a total f*** up.

We tire of your resistence

and your incompetence.

The end of days

is upon us.

The spaceships are coming

and you shall learn your lesson.

No, no!

Not the hair, no!

It's probably for the best

that I forget about the gym

for a while.

I gotta deal with

these a**holes.

Chris, sorry I couldn't

turn things around.

Two hearts becoming one.

Our beautiful Kimmy and Chris,

salute.

Cheers, Sir.

Oh, Chris.

Guess what?

Daddy's getting us a condo.

It is so beautiful,

I've seen pictures.

And there's an extra bedroom

so we can convert it

into a closet for me.

Nothing is too good

for my princess.

Is it, princess?

No.

Look at her, Chris.

Isn't she a princess?

She is definitely a princess.

I am a princess!

Here we are, Princess.

Fat free, sugar free,

gluten free vegan lettuce cups

minus the rice

and the oil,

which I'm sure is much tastier

than the chef always makes it.

Jeffry.

Thank you so much, Sir.

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