Easy to Wed Page #4

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Yes, I've ridden in the Kentucky Derby

a couple of times.

But hunting is really my sport.

Oh, anything. Big game, moose, ducks.

- Mr. Allenbury, I'm sorry, it's 7:45.

- Oh, yes, of course. Check, please.

- Goodbye. It's so nice to have seen you.

- Thanks for joining us.

If ever we need help,

I hope you're in the vicinity.

Oh, here they are, Mother.

Connie, darling.

We've been looking

all over the hotel for you.

My dear, so nice to see you both again.

- Yes. How are you, Mrs. Burns Norvell?

- And you're joining us for dinner, of course.

- I won't take no.

- J.B., are we ready for dinner?

- Dinner?

- Yes.

Oh, yes, of course. Dinner.

Mr. Chalmers is dining with us.

Mrs. Burns Norvell

and her daughter, Barbara.

- How do you do?

- Babs, to you.

- But couldn't we all have dinner together?

- Oh, no, no, they'll be talking business.

Yes. You see, I'm a writer. Mr. Allenbury

and I are doing a hunting book together.

Oh, how lovely.

You must tell me all about it tomorrow.

I'm always up for lunch.

- Well, shall we?

- Yes. Goodbye.

- That was quick thinking.

- Yes, it was, wasn't it?

We're indebted to you again,

Mr. Chandler.

Chalmers. Chandler.

Well.

Well, shall we keep

our dinner engagement?

I'm afraid we'll have to.

You're in luck, Father. Wild duck.

Oh, fine.

Do you care for duck, Mr. Chandler?

Do I care for duck?

The one thing in the world

I do care for is duck...

...in any shape or form,

but especially on the wing.

You're a duck hunter?

Yes.

Why, I just got back

from South America...

...where I bagged my quota

of Muscovys every day for two weeks.

Yes, Muscovys have their points,

but give me a Canadian honker.

I know, my boy.

I have a hunting lodge up in Canada.

Father, shall we say duck?

- Duck.

- Duck.

- Duck.

- Duck.

What a sport. What a sport.

When you first sight the covey...

...and hear the whir of the wings

in the cold, gray light of dawn.

I tell you,

there's no thrill in the world...

Yes, there is.

There's one that beats it.

When you take aim and fire

and the feathers start to fly...

...and then the duck flutters down

to the water.

Corrected.

And that reminds me. I remember once

in Canada, I was using a small.410...

Father, for two hours

we've had nothing but ducks.

Nonsense. I'm only just warming up.

I was talking about the.410.

And now, senores y senoras.

I'm going to have the pleasure

of singing for you a Mexican song.

"Acercate Mas," which means in English:

Acerca, "come close."

Te, "you." Mas, "to me."

It is the story of a boy

who wishes to tell a secret of love...

...into the ear of a beautiful senorita

while he's holding her close like this:

Or maybe like this:

That means "come closer, you to me."

"You are close enough."

You're very much at home

on the dance floor, aren't you?

When I have a partner like you, yes.

You're as light as thistledown.

Deceiving things, thistles.

They're really quite prickly.

You know, I can hardly concentrate.

It must be your eyes.

- They're beautiful, aren't they?

- They remind me...

Oh, yes, I know,

sparkling diamonds, deep sapphires.

Oh, on the contrary,

they remind me of marbles.

- Marbles?

- Yes.

Two aggies I won as a boy,

crystal clear and cold as ice.

Really? I presume you're an authority

on eyes, Mr. Chandler?

Oh, no, not eyes, marbles.

I was champion of my block

for three years running.

Mibs Chandler they called me.

- How quaint.

- Connie.

Connie, dear. Lunch tomorrow.

I've something exciting to tell you.

Oh, we couldn't possibly do

without Connie tomorrow.

She's our inspiration.

I thought I was rather clever.

Yes, I thought you thought so.

It just dawned on me...

...I seem to have made myself

a permanent member of your party.

Yes, that's dawned on me too.

Shall we sit down?

Oh, yes, of course.

You know, Chandler, I've decided

you're not only a duck hunter...

...but you're a darn good one.

- Oh, thank you.

- Yes.

I would say that Mr. Chandler

is quite a hunter.

Well, if you'll both excuse me,

I'm quite tired.

- See you tomorrow.

- No, no, I think not.

Good night, Mibs.

And don't keep Father up too late

with your stories.

Now, about that Sangamon.

Oh, yes. Well...

Senorita. Senorita.

- Senorita Allenbury.

- Oh, Pancho Chandler, huh?

I've got something I wanna tell you.

The Burns Norvells.

They caught up with me this morning.

Dinner tonight.

So you wanna rope Father

and me in, is that it?

Well, after all, I inherited them from you.

Now it's your turn

to come through for me.

I'm gonna tell them you and your father

will join me for cocktails before dinner.

Now, Mr. Chandler, that thought

could only come from a disordered mind.

Wait a minute, when the Burns Norvells

arrive, you come in without your father.

Father gets all the breaks.

Announce that he wants to see me

right away, a brilliant idea for our book.

We'll have to work all evening.

Will you do it?

All right. I will.

Swell. Cocktails in my room at 7.

- Your room?

- The bar is too near the dining room.

Oh, I see. Your room at 7.

All right. Good.

Come on. Come on.

Home, Dolores.

Now, get this straight.

She's gonna be here any minute, alone.

Alone? Gee, how did you swing it?

Well, she thinks...

She thinks I invited a lot of other people.

Now, give us about 10 minutes...

...then fling open the door and...

There she is now.

Are we late, dear boy?

Late? Well, really, that depends. l...

It's too sweet of you

to send a message by Connie...

...asking us to have cocktails with you.

- Oh, Connie asked you.

- Why, yes.

- Oh, I see.

- I do hope you have daiquiri cocktails.

They're my favorite.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

I only have champagne cocktails.

Oh, well, that's my new favorite.

Well, shall we have one now

or shall we wait for Miss Allenbury?

Oh, we forgot to tell you.

Connie isn't coming.

She has one of her headaches.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, maybe I'd better call her up

and see how she is, huh?

Excuse me.

- Oh, but, Mr. Chandler. Here's a telephone.

- Yes?

Here's a telephone...

Yes, but the operator in the bedroom

has much nicer voice.

Relax. Relax.

The Allenbury dame didn't show up.

She's got a headache.

Hello.

Well, the ubiquitous Mr. Chandler.

- How's your headache?

- All over.

- How was your cocktail party?

- All over.

As a matter of fact, it was quite delightful.

I'm glad now that you didn't come.

- Oh, you are?

- Yes.

I found the Burns Norvells

quite charming...

...far superior to most people

one meets at hotels.

I thought you'd get along with them.

Babs is one girl in a million

and so rich too. Or didn't you know?

Oh, yes. Yes, her mother told me.

She told me several interesting things.

I had no idea you were so fragile.

- Fragile? Me?

- Yes. You damage so easily.

Damage?

Oh, it fascinates me.

Sues for $2 million, just think of it.

Asks damages for $2 million,

it gives me a new light on you.

Just who, I said, is this wonder girl?

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