Easy to Wed Page #6

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Listen to me, young lady,

I know a first-class hunter when I see one.

Yeah, and a first-class young man too.

Well, if he's first class,

I'll travel steerage.

Why, of all the impossible,

conceited, self-centered...

Then why did you come up here?

You had a weekend all planned

at home, didn't you?

I had to protect my favorite father.

You know, darling, you may know about

bulls and bears, but I know about wolves.

Don't be ridiculous.

Hi, Chandler.

Good morning, Mr. Allenbury.

Miss Allenbury.

- Glad to see you, my boy.

- Yes, good morning.

- This is the life, eh?

- Oh, there's nothing like it.

Catching cold, Mr. Chandler?

Oh, no. Just a frog in my throat.

- We're old friends.

- I see.

- Well, shall we get started?

- Started?

If you don't mind,

I'd like to try my luck up ahead there.

The ripples are swifter

and the reeds are thicker.

Wise man.

That's one of my favorite blinds too.

You'll find a skiff up there.

- Here's a Thermos and sandwiches.

- And we'll let you take Fetchit.

- Fetchit?

- Our pooch.

You shoot it, he'll fetch it.

Best retriever in Canada.

Shake hands with the man, Fetchit.

I'm afraid he's taken a dislike to you.

He's really quite human, you know.

Here, Fetchit. Nice Fetchit.

Oh, well,

I guess I could do my own retrieving.

I really look quite attractive

with a duck in between my teeth.

Well, happy hunting.

Go on. Go on, Fetchit. Go with him.

What about those new togs, new gun,

new decoys, new everything.

He's after something all right,

but it's not ducks.

Nice weather for ducks, eh, Fetchit?

Fun, isn't it?

I used to do it in the bathtub.

Well, I was only 5.

Well, it could happen to anyone.

Oh, isn't that awful?

Terrible. But by golly, it worked.

You saw that last flight.

I didn't hear any shots from his direction.

My dear, the man's a sportsman.

He wanted to give us first call.

Fetchit, go get it. Fetch it.

Best retriever in Canada, huh?

Here, Fetchit. Here, Fetchit.

Fetchit...

Fetchit...

Fetchit...

Thank you, Fetchit.

Even I know

you have to keep your powder dry.

Look, here they come again.

Young man, this is the finest honker

that ever led a V formation across Canada.

And you bagged him

as clean as a whistle.

Connie, you've cooked him to perfection.

You mean, you cooked that?

- And wait until you taste Dad's dressing.

- Now, don't tell me you made the dressing.

Connie Allenbury, you have taken from me

the one thing in the world I love.

My husband.

Good, huh?

I don't see Ethel Barrymore

having a nervous breakdown.

- Well, shall we have some news or music?

- Just a little.

- Enough?

- That's enough, yeah.

Music.

I think I'll turn in.

It's been a pretty big day.

Come on, Fetchit.

I bribed him with a giblet.

Well, would you mind telling my dog

it's time to go to bed?

Oh, no, not at all.

Your master's calling you, old boy.

Yes, come on.

I'll have to red-apple him. Come on.

- Good night.

- Good night, sir.

Good night, Dad.

- Tired?

- Oh, no, no. Why?

That's the third time

you've looked at your watch since dinner.

Well, I'm an old clock-watcher

from way back.

Now, don't you get too comfortable,

young man.

We have work to do.

What's that?

- Aggies.

- Aggies?

Crystal clear and cold as ice.

Now, Mibs Chandler,

prepare to defend your title.

- You mean you shoot marbles too?

- Certainly, I'm a very remarkable girl.

I'm beginning to think you're right.

There are many sides to my nature,

young man.

Depths you little dream of.

I'll make a study.

Do.

Come on. Come on, Mibs, come on.

Now, here we go.

- How's my grip?

- Not bad for an amateur.

Move your thumb

a fraction to the right. There.

Now what?

You know, there's usually

a slight charge for this...

...but in your case,

I'll make an exception.

Now, you get a bead on your aggie.

- Bead on my aggie.

- Now let her fly.

Alrighty, I think I will take

that little green one on the end.

Beginner's luck.

Professional jealousy.

Now, I shall endeavor

to watch the curve of my fast one.

Here goes the blue.

Lady, I am a scout

with the Catskill Cats' Eyes.

If you've got a slow ball,

we'll talk contract.

You're a funny kid.

Very different from the girl in Mexico.

I feel different. It's this place.

It's all tied up with my childhood.

You know,

we've had some heavenly times here.

Every minute completely filled.

Like today.

It's been pretty perfect.

- And it's costing me a fortune, young man.

- What?

I'm paying dearly for this day of fun.

How? What do you mean?

I bet Dad 50 shares of Tel. and Tel.

that you'd tip your hand the first 24 hours.

- Tip my hand?

- Yes. You see, at first at the hotel...

Well, I thought

you were just another fortune-hunter...

...chasing $50 million on the hoof.

I've been misinformed.

I thought it was only 49.

I know it seems silly...

...but I still thought

you had something up your sleeve.

An oil well, an invention

or an emerald mine.

The last one had an emerald mine.

Would you believe it?

I even bet you didn't hunt.

And you lost.

I'm glad I lost.

Live and learn, says I, Connie, my pet.

Next time, don't bet on men.

Don't apologize

for suspecting people, Connie.

Keep right on.

Ring every coin you meet.

There are lots of wooden nickels

in circulation.

- You gotta go to bed.

- No, not a chance.

I wanna talk.

You're the first person in years that...

You're in for it, my lad.

The story of my life.

The kitten that died when I was 6...

...and my Great Aunt Matilda

who married at 82 and divorced at 83.

And all those twisted newspaper stories

about my romances.

And why they were not romances.

There aren't gonna be

any more twisted stories.

Connie, you know I was...

Remember?

Mexico.

- You ran out on me.

- I was a witch.

I beg your pardon?

- Holy mackerel, it's 12:00.

- Well, what happens at 12:00?

That, my dear,

I hope you will never know.

Good night, Connie.

Good night, Bill.

- Hey, what's that?

- Maybe it's a holdup.

Can't be.

We're on the Allenbury grounds.

- Chandler, what in the world?

- Bill.

I had to flag you

before you got to the lodge.

- Connie's gone.

- Gone?

- I'm not gonna get to bust up the joint?

- She left this afternoon.

She came to put the place in order,

then flew to New York.

- Why didn't you phone?

- Because I didn't have a nickel...

...for the payphone in the duck blind.

Get out of here

before anybody sees you.

You're coming back with us, aren't you?

I can't disappear

in the middle of the night.

Well, what a fine Romeo you are.

One look and the dame takes a powder.

Gee, this is great. Now I can tell the boys

back in the office I saw Canada.

The setup's perfect, we can't miss.

The setup's crazy,

you haven't got a chance.

- How do you spell Schenectady?

- The girl was in the woods with you.

- For only a night.

- Well, how long do you need?

Look, you told your wife

you were going to Washington on business.

- Is Schenectady S-K?

- But you lied to your bride.

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