Ed Wood Page #11

ED:

From today on, our lives are

different! We'll be swimming laps

in the same pool Jean Harlow did.

DOLORES:

I don't know. It's so much money...

ED:

Who cares?! We're on a ROLL! These

are the moments in life you're

supposed to grab.

DOLORES:

But Ed, we're not even married. And

you don't have a job.

ED:

But you do! And anyway, I've got

tons of new scripts. And now that

I have a track record, studios are

bound to hire me!

She just stares. Ed shrugs, semi-reassuringly.

ED:

Look on the bright side. If we miss

the rent, what's the worst they can

do?

DOLORES:

Toss us out on our ass.

ED:

Exactly.

INT. BUNGALOW - DAY

The house is moved in. Ed's unkempt dogs run about. Pumped-up

Ed sits on the bed typing fiendishly fast while wearing an

angora sweater. A cigarette dangles from his mouth, and a

bottle of booze lays in his lap. Bela sits quietly nearby.

ED:

How 'bout a western? People love

westerns.

BELA:

But, I don't like horses. Do I have

to get on one?

ED:

Eh, forget it. What else is big?

(his face lights up)

Teenagers! Jailbait pics! Yeah...

You got the juvenile delinquent, his

girlfriend from the wrong side of the

tracks --

BELA:

Who do I play?

ED:

Uh, a cop. NO! You play the father.

He's angry! He doesn't like seeing

his son -- no -- he doesn't like

seeing his daughter behave this way!

BELA:

(cautious, not to offend)

Well... can't I play the romantic

part? I'm tired of always being the

bad guy. You know, back in Hungary,

I played Romeo! I would like to be

the lover again -- me, in a boat,

with the girl...

Ed considers this.

ED:

Sure. Romance, that's great! To

engineer your comeback, we're gonna

need a whole slate of pictures. Once

"Glen Or Glenda" takes off, we'll

slam you into one, then another, then

another!

BELA:

(he smiles)

That's good. I could use the money.

ED:

But we need to start off with a bang!

Something we know the audience will

want to see. Mmm. What was your

biggest hit?

BELA:

(he thinks)

Hmm... my biggest hit? That would

probably be "Dracula."

ED:

Of course!

Ed crabs a pen and excitedly scrawls out the word "DRACULA."

Bela frowns.

BELA:

Those bastards at Universal. I made

so much money for them, and now I

can't get the time of day.

ED:

So let's make another "Dracula."

Let's make "The Return of Dracula"!

BELA:

We can't. Those sons-a-b*tches

control the rights.

ED:

They do? Shoot. There must be a

way to get around that...

Ed's mind is working. He holds out the paper and stares at

it. Suddenly, he grins. He grabs the pen and makes a period

after the "DR." It now says "DR.ACULA"

ED:

Ha-ha! Dr. Acula!

BELA:

Dracula?

ED:

No! Doctor Acula! You can still

wear the cape, have the fangs...

but you're a doctor! Not a count.

BELA:

Ah! This is very exciting.

ED:

(inspired)

I gotta type this up, while it's

still fresh!

Ed rips the paper from his typewriter, puts in a blank page,

and starts typing.

CUT TO:

EXT. MOVIE STUDIO GATE - DAY

We're outside the imposing gates of MGM. The lion logo is

overhead. Ed drives up in his dirty Nash Rambler convertible.

He wears his nicest suit. Ed peers nervously at the GUARD.

ED:

Excuse me, I'm here to see Mr.

Feldman.

The Guard stares suspiciously at Ed. His filthy car is leaking

oil.

GUARD:

What's your name?

ED:

Edward D. Wood, Junior.

The man frowns. He looks through his files -- then finds a

parking slip with Ed's name. He is surprised.

GUARD:

Oh. Eh, he's in the Executive

Building. You can park in the

reserved section.

Ed smiles.

INT. EXECUTIVE WAITING ROOM - DAY

The room is very posh, with fancy paneling and marble floors.

Ed sits nervously under posters for "GRAND HOTEL" and "QUO

VADIS." Film cans labled "Glen Or Glenda" rest in his lap.

SECRETARY:

Sir, Mr. Feldman will see you now.

She hits an electric button. A large oak door swings open.

INT. OFFICE

Behind a giant desk is MR. FELDMAN, a glib, thin over-

caffeinated man. He jumps up, smiling.

MR. FELDMAN

Mr. Ward, it's a delight to meet you.

ED:

(shaking his hand)

It's Wood. Ed Wood.

MR. FELDMAN

Wood? Ward? Wood.

(puzzled, he glances at his

appointment book)

Hey, what do you know. It is Wood.

Dang secretaries, you can never get

a good one. Right?

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