Ed Wood Page #24

It's an incredible performance of crowning tragedy. Bela is

totally drained.

CU - ED

He is very moved. He whispers, barely audible.

ED:

Cut. It's a wrap.

CUT TO:

INT. MEAT PACKING PLANT - NIGHT

The wrap party is being thrown in the meat packing plant.

People laugh and shout and carry on. Tor pours booze in the

punch. R&B MUSIC plays. Old Man McCoy dances with Loretta.

Bunny dances with a young stud. Dolores stands by herself.

Bela and Criswell are giggling.

CRISWELL:

So you sleep in coffins?!

BELA:

Yes. There is nothing more

comfortable.

CRISWELL:

I can't believe this! I sleep in

coffins!

BELA:

No.

CRISWELL:

YES! My father ran a mortuary --

it's an old habit!

They CLINK beers.

EXT. MEAT PACKING PLANT - SAME TIME

Outside, Vampira and two GIRL FRIENDS walk up. They peer at a

tin sign.

GIRLFRIEND #1

"McCoy Meat Packing"? Are you sure

there's a party here?

VAMPIRA:

(holding an INVITATION)

Yeah, I got this invitation. It's

a "Bride Of The Atom" party, whatever

that means.

They open the large steel door, and INSIDE is the wild bash.

INT. PARTY

Across the room, Paul and Conrad chat.

PAUL MARCO:

"Glen Or Glenda," now that was a hell

of a picture.

CONRAD:

Well, this new one's gonna be a

hundred times better.

PAUL MARCO:

Is that possible?

Dolores overhears this. She stares in disbelief.

AT THE TURNTABLE

Someone changes the record. Brassy STRIPPER MUSIC begins.

A door opens, and Ed struts out, in full gaudy drag.

Everybody turns. They start WHISTLING and HOLLARING.

Ed grins, and starts into a wacky bump-and-grind.

VOICE:

Go, baby, go!

Bunny runs up and sticks a dollar bill between Ed's fake tits.

People LAUGH hysterically.

Dolores is appalled.

Ed shimmies to the music, blowing kisses all around. He sees

Vampira and waves.

Vampira's jaw drops in recognition.

VAMPIRA:

I don't believe it. It's him!

Ed sashays up to Bela and dances a few steps with him. The

music is building to a climax. Ed hurries off to center stage

-- and as the MUSIC ENDS, he does a final swing of his hips,

then suddenly yanks out his teeth!

This brings down the house. Everyone STAMPS their feet and

CLAPS crazily.

ANGLE - DOLORES

Everyone, except Dolores. Suddenly, she explodes.

DOLORES:

You people are INSANE! Take a look

around -- you're all FREAKS!

The room quiets. Dolores has snapped.

DOLORES:

You're wasting your lives making

SH*T! Nobody cares! These movies

are TERRIBLE!

(beat)

I can't take it any longer!

The group is shocked. Nobody speaks.

Dolores runs out of the party.

Ed just stands, dumbstruck. Then he chases after her, in his

high heels and dress.

EXT. MEAT PACKING PLANT - SAME TIME

Dolores runs across the parking lot, in tears. Ed catches up

with her.

ED:

Dolores, wait!

DOLORES:

Ed, it's over. I need a normal life.

ED:

(hurt)

Did you really mean those things you

said..?

Dolores stops.

DOLORES:

I'm tired of living on the fringe.

ED:

But you used to say --

DOLORES:

Ed... I just stuck it out so you

could finish your movie.

(pause)

Now that it's done, so am I.

She turns and walks away. Ed is crushed. He stands

motionless, in his dress, in the dark.

CUT TO:

INT. ED'S NEW APARTMENT - DAY

Ed's new home is a single apartment, still filled with moving

boxes. Half-eaten plates of food are scattered about. Ed lies

asleep in bed, unshaven, in the middle of the day.

The phone RINGS. Ed awakens and woozily answers it.

ED:

Yeah...

TOR (on phone)

Ed, dit I wake you? It's two in

avternoon.

ED:

No, I was just doin' a little work...

TOR (on phone)

Bullchit! You been like dis too many

days. I want to cheer you up.

EXT. TOR'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Ed drives his Nash though a tract Valley neighborhood and

reaches Tor's little house. Ed gets out, still looking groggy.

He walks up the tulip-lined path and rings the DOORBELL.

Clanging SWEDISH CHIMES bong inside.

The door flies open, and Tor appears, beaming.

TOR:

Edvard, you come!

Tor gives Ed a back-breaking hug.

INT. TOR'S HOUSE - SAME TIME

Ed steps in. The house is filled with cuckoo clocks and little

Swedish knick-knacks. Tor gestures proudly.

TOR:

I'm so happy you visit. Meet my

family! Greta, Karl, and Connie!

THREE COLOSSAL PEOPLE lumber out. Tor has the largest family

we've ever seen. Not fat -- but big-boned. GRETA is Tor's

gigantic Swedish wife, and KARL and CONNIE are their two

elephantine children. They ADLIB greetings: "Hallo!"

"Welcome!" "Is a pleasure!"

Ed cannot believe what he's seeing.

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Everyone noisily eats dinner. The table looks like a

Smorgasbord. Entire hams, turkeys, a full case of beer,

incredible quantities are being shoveled in. Tor empties a

beer in one gulp, then opens another.

CONNIE:

Pass the meatballs.

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