Ellen DeGeneres: The Beginning Page #4

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all of a sudden

I like grapes.

That was a good restaurant,

we went to today.

That was some good tuna salad.

Not too much mayo...

I should start making my own tuna salad.

Silly to go out and pay for st,

I can make at home.

I should have ordered st

I don't know how to make...

like eggplant and parmigiano...

or st like that.

I've never really liked eggplant,

but the parmigiano sounds interesting.

I think I left money in my pants.

If it's a one I don't care,

but if it's a twenty

I wanna get that out of there.

It's fun to find money though, that's fun...

You're not really finding money,

it's your money...

I got to remember that...

money in the pants, money in the pants...

What's in the pants? Money.

Money in the pants...

em 'n' the pee, em 'n' the pee,...

Ah, now I have to pee...

I just peeded, I don't really have to pee,

I just think I have to pee...

If I don't pee now, I am gonna get up

in the middle of the night...

and gonna be mad,

I didn't pee now...

Now, I am not gonna wake up to much...

I am just gonna keep my eyes closed

and pee with my eyes closed...

Get back in bed, that is when

the weird images start,

that is the next phase, just these images...

Giant olive,... what?

Cloris Reachman's face

How come?

And that's when the song starts...

and you cannot stop

the song or anything...

The more you try to stop the song...

the more the song goes over

and over again in your head... just...

Bye Manan..

Stop it! Please, stop!

Bye Manan...

Stop it! Please! Shut up!

Shut up!

And then you hear: "Shut up!"

Who's talking?

And that's when you realize,

that it's you inner child,

just playing with you...

just talking back and forth to you...

Cause you don't play

with our inner child anymore...

so your inner child is wide awake

and just wants to play...

and here you are negotiating

with you inner child that night...

Please, I have a very busy day tomorrow,...

Oh, please, I have a very busy day

Bye Manan...

Stop it!

That's why people are so angry

and grumpy and ragefull all day long,

cause their inner child

has kept them up all night long..

and their exhausted and their inner child

is just sound asleep now...

That child doesn't go anywhere...

we still have that child in us,

each one of us has that child...

that we need to play with every day

and we would sleep better...

I don't know what happens...

but somewhere along the way

we just get so jaded, we loose that joy,

and that bliss,

when you look in a child's eyes

they're happy with just about

every single thing

Just watching them learn, how to walk.

Their eyes are just...

they can't believe they're walking.

they're so excited that they're walking

and just that's so happy for them...

and then we get older...

I got to walk...

No, I'll get it...

We lose that sense of play

that we should all... I don't know...

Why do we stop playing games?

Just go to a total stranger

tomorrow on the street...

Just go to them and touch them: "You're it!"

and just run away...

It would be so fun, you know!

Maybe they will here?

just do it back to you.

Just try it tomorrow..

Have a giant game of tag

going on the street all the time

Everybody playing

with their briefcases and backpacks...

walking along,"Who's it?",

"Ugh... You're it", "No, you're it!"

At work just play,...

when your boss comes in looking for you

just play hide-and-seek...

just duck behind the desk...

What are they gonna do? Fire you?

Was just playing hide-and-seek... I...

Children are so amazing,

they just remind you of how

simple things should be...

I have a godchild that

is the most beautiful thing

in the world to me..

my godchild, she's an angel...

she's just a little precious...

just... ray of light...

she's two... or six...

I don't know... but she is...

Kids have fun so easily...

You are on a plane and

there is a kid in front of you...

a two-year old... or a four-year old...

peek-a-boo... that's all they need...

they don't care about

in-flight entertainment or anything.

peek-a-boo is enough for them,

just to make them giggle.

all it takes for you

to make a little kid just giggle

is go:
"Boo!"

and then they duck down,

they're so excited...

they never get tired of that game though...

They will play from here to Paris...

they just...

A couple of hours in,

you're trying to end that game...

I don't know... my imagination is...

that stops me...

sometimes... when you're a kid

imagination is fun.

and nobody tries to stop you.

When you get older,

all of a sudden

you use your imagination to

keep you from doing things.

At least for me... like...

I wanna do st and I'll just think...

oooh.. what if?

You know that thing?

Let's say for instance:

I am out of cheese, ok?

And then I'll think:

Oooh, but what if...

I go to the store and they're out of cheese?

I'd be like:
"How can you be out of cheese?"

and they would be like:

"What do you mean like,

how can we be out of cheese. "

"You're out of cheese,

people run out of cheese. "

Then I'd be like: "Yeah,

but you're a store... "

you should have cheese stocked up

in the back, for people like me...

coming in looking for cheese...

and that is when they

send the manager over,

who thinks he is so

cool for being a manager.

Cause his picture is framed in front

of the store, cause he is the manager.

and he would be like:

"What seems to be the problem, MA'M?"

which to me is

so condescending as"little lady"

and I'd be like:

"The little lady's problem... "

he'd be like:
"Who is the little lady?"

I'd be like:
"Shut up and listen to me... "

You're out of cheese and I want some...

He's like:
"How about some cottage cheese?"

Like he is gonna negotiate the situation,

he is a diplomat.

He is the manager...

And I'd be like:

"I don't want cottage cheese... "

I want cheddar cheese...

sharp cheddar cheese is what I came in for.

Sharp cheddar cheese and cottage cheese

and not the same thing.

Just cause they have cheese in the title,

doesn't make it a cheese at all.

It would be like going to

a music instrument store,

"and say I'd like to buy a trumpet

and they'd say:
"

"I am sorry, but we're all out of trumpets,

but would you like a shoehorn?"

See, that is not the same thing, Mr. Manager

"Thank you for the shoehorn!"... You know...

He starts getting all nervous and everything

cause a crowd has formed...

and then he starts feeling humiliated,

cause their all sitting around and mumbling.

What seems to be the problem?

I don't know,

she wants some cheese.

and so he just slaps me right

across the face. And so...

that's when Skip, the part-time guy,

who works there, who hates the manager...

cause he thinks he is so cool

for being the manager...

and treats Skip like sh*t,

cause he is just a part-time guy.

Skip is gonna quit on the phone

and go back to school anyway.

He doesn't even need the money,

he is from a wealthy family,

he's just doing it for the experience,

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