Encino Man Page #4

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we got something called...

the four basic food groups,

and this is not one of 'em.

Oh.

Look at what we have here.

- Dairy group.

- Dairy group.

Milk Duds. Hide these under your pillow

so your mom doesn't find them.

lf she does, you're tweaked, buddy.

Keep on cruisin'.

Fruit group.

Sweet Tarts.

These are killer.

So citrusy, dude, you'll freak.

Keep on cruisin'. Uh-huh.

Right, this is the vegetable group.

Corn Nuts !

Put 'em on a pedestal, bro.

- Look at that ! Those are kill, huh ?

- [ Microwave Rings ]

Meat group !

Come on, the meat group.

These are my favourite !

Hey, you gotta be equal,

equal, fifty/fifty.

- Here. Mmm.

- Mmm.

Ooh ! Figures.

- Hot on the outside,

icicle in the middle.

- [ Rajneesh ] Two minutes.

You like that, right,

'cause you're a caveman.

Cool, buddy.

The beverage !

lcee, bro.

This is what put

this place on the map.

What are you doing,

Mr Stoney ? No, no !

- You can't do this here.

- You must leave now, please.

-Look, Kashmir, Rajneesh, chill.

-No buds chill !

Link and l are cruisin' the mountain

and we figured we'd wease ju-uice.

- No weasin' the ju-uice.

- Wease the juice !

No !

No weasin' the juice.

No weasin' the juice.

- Hey, just chill, buds.

- No buds chill.

lt's okay.

Just chill.

- l'll be back.

- No buds chill !

[ Screaming ]

Oh, God, no !

Wait ! Stop !

Here we go !

[ Screaming ]

Comin' home !

Was that the hottest or what, bro ?

Are you into it ?

[ Stoney ] # Joy to the fishes

in the deep, blue sea #

- # Joy to you and me #

- [ Dave ] Stop !

Where did you go ?

You just took off.

Do you know how worried l've been ?

- You sound like my mom.

- You can't do that to me.

What's on his nose ?

Just chill, Dave,

'cause you know why ?

Link and l

had a stoney time at the Mountain.

You took him to Mega Mountain ?

Are you crazy ?

Yeah, 'cause they're

riding the Vapour in reverse.

- They are ? Oh, cool.

- Uh-huh.

Check out the fresh nugs.

Weasin' the juice.

- O-o-o-ow.

- O-o-o-ow.

- Buddy.

- Buddy.

[ Link ]

Check out my cap. O-o-o-ow !

Oh, my God !

You got him talkin' like you now.

- O-o-o-ow.

- O-o-o-ow.

Gee, Link, that is so beautiful.

ls it old ?

You know, Mr M.,

the way l look at it, some day...

your daughter and l

could be married...

- and we could be related.

- l count the days.

So, Stanley, how's your mother ?

She's really bummed.

Can you pass the peas ?

- Sure.

- Thanks.

Mr Morgan, if you're edged 'cause l'm

weasin' on your grindage, just chill.

'Cause if l had the whole

Brady Bunch thing happenin' at my pad,

l'd go grind over there.

So don't tax my gig

so hard-core, cruster.

- Stanley, speak English.

- Dad !

Link, how was your day ?

How are you adjusting ?

He's doin' just great.

We got him enrolled in all his classes.

- Didn't we, pal ? Yeah.

- Ugh.

- A success.

- [ Fly Buzzing ]

What's up ?

How was your day, Mom ?

Where you goin' ?

- What's he doin' ?

- l think he's tracking a fly.

# Shoo, fly

Don't bother me #

# Shoo, fly

Don't bother me #

# Shoo, fly

Don't bother me #

# 'Cause you belong

to my friend, Link #

Good catch.

Meat group !

[ Sniffing ]

- He's into munchin' too, you know.

- [ Gagging ]

Blades.

Finally part of the elite.

- How cool are we ?

- We're cool.

David, l even showered.

Check out my--

l got the raddest deodorant on, buddy.

Take a whiff, bro.

# Oh, no, you're invited

but your friend can't come #

Link, hey !

- l am so glad to see you.

- Ugh.

Oh, hon, lose the geek squad.

They're bad for your deal.

Blades !

Hummer patrol, Barneys incoming.

Robyn.

- Get him.

- Got him.

Hey, Rob--

Robyn !

- Good.

- Good.

That was not cool at all,

you guys.

You could hurt his pancreas

or something.

l like the ketchup and mustard.

Very avant-garde.

- Whoa ! ls that me ?

- Betty.

Betty. Betty ?

- Betty, Betty nugs.

- Betty nugs.

Robyn, don't forget,

we've been naked together.

- Nice body.

- Remember when we were together ?

- Did you show this to anyone ?

- No.

-That's your copy. Show anyone you want.

-Thanks, Dave.

Oh, l get it. This is, like,

your old girlfriend in Estonia ?

- Do you miss her ?

- Ugh.

Because l can tell you

from experience,

long-distance relationships

never work out.

- Estonia's a long ways away, Link.

- Yeah.

And l'm right here...

- so let's work on changing your mind.

- [ Voice ] Rad Mobile.

Rad Mobile.

Rad Mobile.

Whoa !

Or not.

You just think l'm bad for your act,

that's all.

Right, and you think

l'm good for yours.

- What ?

- Matt !

What are you doin' ?

You're not allowed in here.

Whoa-oa-oa !

Woo !

Woo-woo-woo-woo !

Are you deaf, dork ?

- Didn't l forbid you to speak to her ?

- l'm sorry.

That's all, Link.

lt's over.

- End of story.

- [ Yelling ]

[ lndistinct Arguing ]

- l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

- Huh ?

[ Link ]

Wease some juice !

Hey, you want a piece of me ?

Oh, God !

l don't know you.

l don't like you.

As of now, l'm all over you.

- Did you see that ?

- The new kid, he took it.

- Whoa !

- Whoa !

Don't just stand there.

Do something. Stand up for yourself.

Hit him back !

Link, hit him back !

Where you goin' ?

What do you think

of your Bulgarian dork bud now ?

Hmm ?

That was harsh, Matt.

Let's get out of here.

The stench of losers

is doing damage to my sinuses.

Just stop it, Matt.

Don't even come near me.

Hey, watch it.

Why don't you take this,

'cause l don't think l need it any more.

Hey !

- l can't believe he got nailed.

- He's a pacifist.

A pacifist caveman ?

You're mental.

Cavemens aren't like us, Dave.

They fought for food and survival.

They did not fight for popularity.

- What would he be fighting for, huh ?

- For face.

- For us ! To be cool !

- Cool, huh ?

He does not know what cool is.

He doesn't know where he is.

He knows nothin'.

He's gotta learn

how to defend himself.

- Against what ?

- Against buttholes like Matt.

Come on. Come on.

# l'm gonna knock you out

Mama said knock you out #

# l'm gonna knock you out

Mama said knock you out #

[ TV Announcer ] Our airplane's

been going round and round.

[ Dave ]

Stop !

Hey, stop !

# Knock you out #

[ Grunting ]

# l'm gonna knock you out

Mama said knock you out #

# l'm gonna knock you out

Mama said knock you out #

Hey, Link ! O-o-o-ow !

Put me down, Link !

# Knock you out ##

[ Stoney ]

Ow, my pancreas.

[ Bell Ringing ]

Hey, look !

Hey, dude.

You took it from Wilson.

No one's ever done that before

and survived.

- Link, come back here.

- Stop !

Oh, God.

He is so cool.

# Matty told Hatty #

# 'Bout a thing she saw #

# lt had two big horns

and a wooly jaw #

# Wooly Bully #

# Wooly Bully #

# Wooly Bully

Wooly Bully #

# Wooly Bully #

- Hey.

- Homeslice.

See you in Mr Albert's class.

- Slicey.

- Slicey.

- Slicey.

Hello, little one.

We took a vote and the computer club

feels your presence...

will be a valuable asset

to our organization.

- Computer club. Computer club.

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