Endless Bummer Page #3

uh, what is it-

Later.

Later?

- Yeah, later.

First we're gonna

get 16 bucks.

You ready?

Check this dude out.

Mr. C., how ya doin'?

- Hey.

So, uh, anyway,

Mr. Candidas.

Candianedas.

Uh, okay, so-

So I see this bitchin'

wave coming in, right?

I've already heard this stupid story

from your stepfather, the drunk.

Oh, yeah?

He was in here already?

Oh, that's great. Typical.

- Hey!

Hey. So, uh, yeah, I was trying to

tell ya a story, all right? So listen.

So I drop in on this wave,

and I'm, like, totally stoked,

and then it was, like, I'm doin' a

cutback and I lay it down with my hand.

And I'm, like, skimmin' it with my

hand, and the lip starts folding over.

It's, like, coming over me like this.

And I'm like, "Whoa!"

And then I'm like, "Whoa!"

And this giant liquid cavern of

liquid water from another planet-

Dude, I've been looking

for these all day.

Look what I found.

- All right.

Yeah, we'll have these.

Beef.

Uh, you got any dough?

Uh, no. Do you?

Yeah, um, we're gonna have

to come back for those later.

Yeah, later. Okay.

- Catch ya.

Let's get outta here.

Feels kinda good, huh?

Feels kinda good, huh?

What?

- Helpin' out Sparky's mom.

She's a nice lady.

Can you keep a secret?

- Dude, yeah.

What-What's up?

- Alice is not really his mom.

What?

- Yeah. She's his grandma.

He just calls her that.

- Where's his mom?

She bailed, man.

Whoa.

There ya go, son.

Sixteen dollars.

There you go.

- Thank you, sir.

This is a nice couch.

- Got it at Sears.

Now if the wife asks,

I didn't give you any money.

Sure, okay.

Harry, Peggy works

at the D.M.V., right?

Mm-hmm.

- What?

All right. Bye, Marge.

Okay.

We got... 2QUAN574,

registered to a 17-year-old

kid named Brian Kramer,

Valley Village.

Here ya go.

Brian Kramer.

You don't know how much

we appreciate this.

Well, do me a favor.

Don't kill him.

Oh, and next time you sell Harry some stolen beer,

get somethin' better than this sh*t, please.

F***in' southers.

Oooh, stand by

with the beer.

If you barf,

I am not cleaning that up.

That what dogs are for,

tardo.

Hey, boys.

Red bikini girl.

Little bit of booty

never hurt nobody.

Do you think

she's had a boob job?

Hey, Mom?

- Yeah, honey.

Can we, like, have a bottle

of something, please?

Oh, go ahead. Take the half

bottle of vodka from the bar.

But no drinking and driving.

- Okay. Thanks, Mom. You rock hard.

Yeah, well, I used to.

Anne.

- Yeah.

- I found it.

- You found your board?

Yeah.

- Hi, J.D.

- Oh, hey, Brenda.

- What's this about your board?

We know where it is.

I just gotta go get it.

Can we go back to my house?

I need to change.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

- Need a hand, J. D?

- Anne, your mom's, like,

totally hitting on me again.

Mom, come on! We talked about this.

- Okay, we're going. Geez.

- Wow.

- Bye. I love you.

I love you too.

- Have fun. Bye.

How come you're

never like that...

Oh, there you are, Johnny boy.

I heard what happened.

Oh, honey.

- Mom!

Ja. Herb, the milkman, told me.

- Oh, Johnny.

Come on, Mom.

- Oh, don't worry.

We'll get it back for you,

my poor baby.

We're onto it, Ma,

really.

Oh, Johnny.

I give you some stew to take with you.

La Lumbie.

Come on, sweetheart, huh?

Did you miss me?

I need ya now.

I do.

Come on now.

Come on.

Here you go, honey. Jesus, Mom.

I'm communing with my automobile here.

Oh, Johnny, please.

Just try it. Just try it.

All right, all right.

- Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

Ja. Is good.

Uh, now can I go?

- Oh. Ja.

Here, Anne. Hold this. I gotta focus.

- Okay, baby.

Come on. Come on.

Come to Papa. Mmm.

That's it. Come on.

Come on, baby. Come on.

Whoo! Atta girl!

Good luck, Johnny.

# Oh, Gidget goes to hell #

Whoo.

So get this.

I totally saw this guy today, man.

He's drivin'

down the road...

in this bright-ass orange

"look at me" 280Z.

The typical souther.

I mean, it seemed like his hair was

personally styled by Vidal Sassoon.

And, uh, he was wearing pants.

What?

- Pants.

# Gidget goes to hell #

# Gidget goes to hell #

# She's the center of attention

as she runs into the wave #

# Paddles way outside, yeah

waiting for the big one ##

Come on. I gotta pee.

Everybody!

We got a situation here,

so listen up.

These f***ing southers,

they come to

our beautiful beach...

and they desecrate it,

and I'm sick of it!

It's over, and they're

going to pay now.

So f***ing frightening.

Totally. It turns me on.

- What?

Whatever.

- God, you're so weird.

All right, now here's the deal.

An elite team of us,

a band of brothers, are gonna

go tonight, in La Lumbie...

and we're gonna find this guy and

we're gonna bring my board back!

We're going.

- No. Anne, no. I'm not going.

Yes. Shut up, Iris. We're going. Shut up.

- No-Anne... Sh*t.

My fellow Venturians,

the time has come.

- Lardo.

- F*** it.

What, Mooney's?

What are we doing here?

- There's somethin' I need to do.

So, Mike, I know I should

have been more careful.

I'm gonna get the board back and I'm

gonna get you that last payment too.

We got an address,

we know where this guy is.

So, you know, don't worry.

It'll be easy.

These kids.

They're gonna run off to the Valley and

probably get into a bunch of trouble.

Let's go get us

a surfboard.

Mooney's comin' with us. Now we can

take on the whole f***in' Valley, dude.

Let's do this.

Why do you call your car

La Lumbie anyway?

Well, it used to be La Bamba,

but the "L's," they took over.

Well, it was Bomber, then La Bamba.

Now it's La Lumbie.

Yeah. Because

le lan lalk lin lels.

I'm sorry?

Le lan lalk lin lels.

You can talk in "L's"?

Wow. I really gotta

get away from here.

We're goin' to war,

and we need war music.

We need a f***in' battle hymn.

- Yeah.

- Check the tapes.

- To the tapes. To the tapes.

- Germs.

- Uh, Ramones.

- Bob Marley.

- I got the Thompson Twins.

No. No Thompson Twins.

Pick a tape.

Tape?

Fear.

- Hell, yeah.

- Right on.

- Whoo.

Now that is road-trip music.

One, two, three, four!

- Mooney rocks.

Turn it up.

# There's so many of us

There's so many of us

There's so many #

# There's so many of us

There's so many of us

Let's have a war #

# So they can go die

Let's have a war #

# We could all use the money

Let's have a war #

# We need the space

Let's have a war #

# Yeah, clean out this place #

# It already started

in the city #

# Suburbia #

# Will be just as easy #

# There's so many of us

There's so many of us

There's so many #

# There's so many of us

There's so many of us #

# There's so many of us

There's so many of us

There's so many #

# There's so many of us

There's so many of us

There's so many ##

The valley of the shadow of

death in all its wretched glory.

Millions of southers,

wearing pants.

I hate pants.

- I hate pants too!

One of 'em named

Brian Kramer.

Yeah.

Somewhere down in that cesspool

of humanity is J.D.'s surfboard.

Watch for Van Nuys

and turn right.

I'm from here,

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