EuroTrip Page #4

I'm so sad and lonely.

I'm so sad and lonely.

I just wish someone

would show up

and sweep me off

my German feet.

Mieke! I'm here.

Scotty!

About that last email.

I'm so sorry...

The past is the past.

You're here now.

I've been saving myself for you.

Let us make love

for one whole month.

Touch me, Scotty.

OK.

Oh, Scott...

- Mi bello.

Mi bello.

Mi bello.

Mi bello.

Mi bello.

Mi scusi.

Mi scusi!

" Hot stuff baby this evening "

" Gotta have some hot stuff "

" Gotta have some love tonight "

" Hot stuff "

Guys, our train

doesn't leave till morning.

- Where will we sleep?

- What do you mean, sleep?

We can sleep on the train tomorrow.

This is the best that could've happened.

We're in Amsterdam!

This is the drug and

sex capital of Europe!

Take a look at this.

"Club Vandersexxx."

"The red light district's

hottest sex club."

We have to check it out.

Who's with me?

I'll go.

Fine. Since no one else

is willing to go,

I'll just go myself.

" I see "

" You're waiting for me "

This is definitely

where I parked my car.

Hello there.

Welcome to Club Vandersexxx...

Amsterdam's most erotic club,

where your every fantasy

will be fulfilled.

Also says I get

a free T-shirt with flyer.

He's American.

How sad for you to grow up

in a country founded by prudes.

A country overrun

with crime and illiteracy.

A country where a man

is forced to make sex

to only one woman at a time,

and one must learn

the woman's name beforehand.

- It was horrible.

- I know.

But you can come with me...

and let the Vandersexxx begin.

" Marijuana in my soul "

" Your iguana in my hall "

I can't believe

we're doing this.

Don't worry.

Hash brownies are totally legal here.

You're gonna enjoy these, man.

These are magical.

" I like to smoke marijuana "

- You wanna do this?

- Yeah.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I need a new battery for my camera,

and while you're at it,

it could use a cleaning.

Wow.

Is that a Leica M6?

Actually, it's an M7.

It's got the built-in light meter.

It's so beautiful.

So sleek, so powerful.

How's the new lens system?

Makes the Nikon

look like a disposable.

You really know your cameras.

And you're very cute.

Me? Really?

I'm going on break.

I was going to step out back

and have a cigarette.

Would you like to join me?

I don't smoke.

Neither do I.

Hold on, hold on.

What is it?

This is great!

You're so innocent.

Let's change that... shall we?

What would you like me to do?

Well... I don't really know...

I guess I really

haven't done that much.

I haven't really found the time,

with all my extracurriculars,

and model U.N., advanced placement

classes, after-school tutor...

...ing! Ah!

Gosh, you really like cameras!

Sometimes, we find our clients are

so overwhelmed with the pleasure,

that they sometimes scream out,"no,"

when really they mean,"yes."

And this is why we have the safe word.

The "safe word"?

If at any time the ecstasy

gets too great,

you just use the safe word.

Until we hear the safe word,

we will not stop.

Yeah, right. Stop.

All right.

We're going to start slowly,

teasing you with a little

light erotic foreplay.

Whee!

Oh, yes, ladies!

On, on, vandersexxx!

Hans! Gruber!

Hi.

So, are the girls coming back?

Administer the testicle clamps!

- Huh? What? Hey!

Safe word!

What is that?!

That's not a word, it's a...

"Fluggen-kliggin-kien?"

Fluggen!!!

- OK, mister, don't move.

- Excuse me?

Shut the hell up!

Oh, brother! Please don't hurt me.

Oh, no... you're fine.

That's good. You're fine.

Give me cash? You got cash?

Take it all, you dirty girl.

What?

Your wallet! Focus!

- Give it to me.

- Oh!

Oh, I love you!

I love you!

I love you! I looove you!

What's so funny?

I'm really hungry.

I think I've got the munchies.

- Excuse me.

- Huh?

It's hot in here. You hot?

'Cause I'm really hot.

- So good.

- OK, I can't breathe! God!

I'm freaking out! I think we got

a bad batch 'cause I'm freaking out.

I can't... I can't do this.

I saw a gay porno once.

I didn't know until halfway in.

The girls never came.

The girls never came!

I am freaking out!!

- Everything all right with you?

- No, nothing's all right.

You sold us a bad batch

of hash brownies.

You're a bad Rastafarian.

These are not hash brownies.

Hmm?

- What was that?

- We do not sell hash brownies.

We're a simple Dutch bakery!

Now put your clothes back on, white boy!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

"Fluggengegeholen!"

Did you say fluggegecheimen?

Yes! Yes!

For the love of god,

fluggengecheimen!

Are you sure?

Yes, please.

As you wish.

Bring on

the fluggegecheimen!

Wait... what?

Uh-oh.

No, no, no!

I didn't say fluggegecheimen,

I said, uh...

What'd you do last night?

I don't want to talk about it.

What did you guys do?

Don't want to talk about it.

- What is that?

- Free T-shirt.

Hey, guys.

What happened to you?

I got robbed.

It was awesome!

Our money, passports, tickets...

Everything, gone!

How the hell could this happen?

We all go to Amsterdam, and

Jamie's the one who hooks up!

For shame!

Oh, that's me.

Coop here. Sorry.

Hello, Mr. Walters.

You never got the Gutterman file?

I told Humphrey to give it to you.

That's hogwash. I handed it

to him myself yesterday.

I'll tell Humphrey to report

to your office immediately.

Bye.

- This job's killing me.

- Uh...

- Let me handle this.

I speak bad German.

- What did he say?

- He said he's driving.

- Oh.

- Something.

Jah.

Berlin?

- Berlin?

- Berlin!

- He's going to Berlin!

- Awesome!

- All right! Berlin!

- Come on, let's go!

Next stop, Berlin!

Beautiful!

We made it to Berlin.

Jah. Berlin!

- Bratislava?

- Yeah.

Bratislava!

Dear sweet mother of God.

We're in Eastern Europe.

Eww!

Excuse me.

Do you speak any English?

You are Americans?

Yeah.

I love America.

We just get "Miami Vice" on television.

"Miami Vice" is number one new show.

Yeah.

Listen, we're trying

to get to Berlin, Germany.

Do you know if there's

a train coming anytime soon?

Oh, yes, very soon.

They are building it now.

Stop! Hammer time!

Enjoy Bratislava!

It's good you came in summer.

In winter, it can get very depressing.

We gotta figure something out.

How much money do we have?

Frommer's travel tip.

I don't have anything.

What? I got noth... fine.

$1.83 American.

What are we gonna get with that?

Gotta love that exchange rate!

Ta.

Hapi Djus.

Teraz bez drenei.

Hmm. Now with less pulp.

Dinner is served.

Would the masters care

for anything else?

Think we're good. Thanks.

Ah! A nickel!

You see this?

- I quit!

I open my own hotel!

So, we got 27 cents left.

What is there to do in this town?

- " My Scotty "

- " Scotty, Scotty "

" Scotty doesn't know "

" Don't tell Scotty "

- " Scotty doesn't know "

This song sounds familiar.

Jenny, lemme check your coat.

- Hey!

- Jenny!

That outfit is horrible!

Just take it off... now!

No, but I will let you

buy me a drink.

Excuse me!

You are the woman from the Paris

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