Evil Things Page #3

really have to pee. Can we just go in? I'm getting my bag. Someone get my bag. Miriam, I swear to God... Tanya, I'm coming... I'll dribble all the

way to the door. Nasty! Miriam, got stuck. That's pretty funny right? Where is it, where is it? Oh my God, Oh my God! Alright, can you give me the

flashlight so I can see what I'm doing? Tanya's gonna

piss her pants. I'm glad you find

this amusing you know. Keys are under

the drainpipe. What's a drainpipe? You don't oh, you don't... I don't know. I live in Manhattan. Where are the drainpipes? This is fine, this is fine. Where are the keys,

where are the keys? Can you guys try to

find a drainpipe? It's right here. Oh hey... Did you find it? Yeah I see the key. Put it in. Put it in. I'm trying I'm trying. Open the door

and let me go by. Nice. It's kind of cold in here. Does this foyer light work? Mark, turn the light on. This is a big house. Are the lights not working? Are you kidding? Try another one. Maybe that one's broken. The light didn't

work in the bathroom? No it didn't. Just go, just

go, I have to pee. Here, I'll hold

your flashlight. Are you gonna go? I just went. Well, can you go in there with

me, so I'm not by myself? Well that was quick. Wait, so none of

these lights work? I guess not. We should be able to

find a fuse or something. Oh my God! There's no electricity. At all? No. I don't know. Like maybe if we try

upstairs or something? I mean she knows

we're coming so. You're kidding me,

they're not working. Like none of them. So now what? Maybe like if we

go around the house there's an outside

one or something, because

it has to be somewhere. Do you guys see that? No. It looks like a

light in the distance. Do you see that? A flashlight. It's a car. No Way. That's not a car. That is not. You guys, you

think it might be... Uh, I don't see anything. No, it's not. Guys, everyone get

back inside. You guys, It might be that

guy, it might be that guy. Was that a van? I don't know. You guys, we don't

even know if it's him. Who else would it be? Could it be a

neighbor or somebody? Guys, could you shut

up, I'm trying to listen. Did we lock the door? Yes, the door's locked. Alright, hold on the

light's right there. I see somebody. Ahh! Shh, Shh, Shut up. Is he coming? Oh my god. Mark! Hit him with

your flashlight. [Knocking on door] Miriam? Wait! What? Miriam? Aunt Gail? Yeah! Oh my God, are

you kidding me? Hi! You scared us. Good to see you. I'm sorry, and I'm so

sorry about the lights. OK. We were half way to Maine,

and we realized they forgot to put the power back on

after they did work. Oh. So that's what

the problem is. I can't believe you're all

standing here in the dark, I feel so bad. We thought we were screwed. Oh no no, I would never

leave you here like this. You would have no hot water,

no kitchen, no nothing. You would really

be in trouble. No heat... And I think

it's gonna be like 40 below this weekend. Oh Oh great. That would have

been fun right. You must be Leo. That's me. I could tell by the camera. And this is

Tanya, Cassy and Mark. Hi you guys. My friends from school. Hi, nice to meet you,

thank you for having us. Well thanks for spending

her birthday with her. Happy Birthday! So glad you

could all come. Thanks for having us. You're gonna

have a lot of fun. Hopefully. But not too much fun. But anyway...Let me

turn the lights on. Let me get everything

settled, and show you how everything works and

where everything is. Thanks Aunt Gail. How dumb do you feel? Really dumb! This is too

much for one day. But guys, if we could not

say anything about the guy in the van or the

diner or anything. I mean, she is

super over-protective. We're lucky she's even

letting us have this cabin. And if we could just not say

anything that would be great. That's fine. Yay! Thank you! Much better right? Yeah, much better. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry

about that you guys. I mean, luckily

we remembered. We were like eeeek! I know, I was like

running around outside, and we didn't

know what to do. So how was your trip? Everything was good? Cold and snowy. Oh that's right you

drove up in the snow storm. Oh no. Can't wait to

use the fireplace. Well it's all gonna

get better from here. Yes. You're gonna

have a great time. You're gonna

relax...the country. So nice. Let me show you how

everything works. Yeah. Thank you so much Aunt Gail. Alright. I heard every word. You better not have

heard every word. Leo! Jeez! Gimme the camera. Nope! OK, everybody, come say

good bye, I gotta go. Happy Birthday! Thank you so much

for everything. Seriously. Oh, have a really

really really great weekend. It was nice to

meet all of you guys. It was nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

No problem. Thanks for having us. Take good care of

her particularly. Thank you for the house. Yeah. Your welcome. And safe trip. Yeah, we're gonna have fun. And your uncle is

asleep in the car. Of course he is. I know, always, right, and

I want him to stay that way all the way to Maine, so I

wanna get going right now. Alright, kisses

for everyone. Have a good

time you guys. -Thank you so much.

-Bye. -Bye bye.

-Bye. Safe trip. Bye Aunt Gail. See ya later. Alright, so

what do we do now? Party! This is not funny. Hello? Surprise!!! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday Miriam. Happy Birthday Miriam. Thank you guys so much. You have to try

and blow them out. Uh oh! A bigger wish. C'mon, Oh... C'mon. Oh, oh... [Cheering and clapping] Oh, Oh, it might

be coming back. [Cheering and laughing] Oh, you are the woman. [Cheering] Happy Birthday sweetie. That's really nice. Thanks, thanks a lot. Aw, honey, don't cry. We love you, happy birthday. Thank you.

You're welcome. Thank you... We love you,

we love you. Mark... Need to hug someone... Thank you guys so much. That was completely

unexpected and really really sweet. Alright, let's

eat some cake. Let's get drunk!!! Ooooh!!! Right in the fire. You just farted

right in the fire. You're gonna burn

the house down. Is the fire dying? No, it exploded

when he farted. Jesus Christ! I gotta like have my

lemonade and my cool aid. Gots tuh have

that purple drink! This is my 24

thousand square inch TV. I don't know how to work

it, I don't know what these buttons do, but

it looks big. Tell me what's on

your mind dumb chick. I don't

know...Stuff I guess. Stuff? Like what, like

bubble gum and puppies? Like, everything,

just everything. Everything. Everything. Everything? Wow that's so hot. I know. You wanna f***? O.K. Let's do it! O.K. So whoever loses

has to drink...that. Not me. Alright, who wants

to go first, me. Son of a bee-atch! Son of a.... [Burps] Excuse me. Oh my God, burp. Oh my God, burp. Want some of this pot pie? Courtesy of Starbucks. Have some of that. Chicken pot pie! Chicken pot pie! You stick it up your butt! [Laughter] C'mon, get outta here. Stop it guys! Are you really

taking a bubble bath? Get outta here! Look at him, he's

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