Evil Things Page #4

taking a bubble bath. No c'mon, get out! What's wrong Leo, you don't

like the camera on you? You don't like

it in your face? Nice! Get out!!! We're leaving,

we're leaving, OK. Enjoy your bath. I will! Good morning. Welcome to cooking with Leo. Do we have any

Tabasco sauce? Look at the smoke

coming from the pan. That's really not ok. We're going, we're going. Bam! Bam, oh shocking, his

technique is, really! Ooh! Ooh, look at that. Perfection. Cuz it's freakin' freezing! Leo, looks at

this for a second. Come here. Oh my God! What? Are you guys

filming my b*obs again? What are you filming? Nothing. You're such an a**hole! It's for Leo, for later. Oh really... Anyway! Well, you're shoving it in

our face the whole weekend. What do you want us to do? Just go with it. Just go with it. Just go with it

man, just go. Just go with the flow. Maybe I'll make a... Put some stuff

together after the weekend. Yeah, I want a copy. You have to make me a copy. OK, action. Watch it! Alright, we're good. OK. So, Take 2. Alright. So what do you think

about the weekend so far? Um, pretty

hectic, getting here. Pretty crazy, pretty scary. That snow storm was... That was horrible. And then the windy

road with Tanya. Oh God, I thought she was

gonna vomit all over me. I know, I felt so bad. Well, we're here now, and

we're gonna have a good time. Yeah! We're gonna go Sprelunking. Yes, Sprelunking,

we're going sprelunking. ...With these incredible

flashlights that I got. Yeah, he's crazy. What do you guys think about

the guy last night, in the van? So tell me some deep dark

secrets about yourself. Some deep dark secrets? Some really

embarrassing stuff. I want the

exclusive scoop on you. I don't know. You gonna make a big

high-budget Hollywood film out of this? Yeah. I definitely

like documentaries. Like this kinda? Um... Um... Like civil rights and stuff? Yeah, like civil

rights, anything on war, race...things that are

taboo in this country? I love doing

stuff about that. My job, blah, you really want

to talk about my shitty job. I hate my job. I really hate my job. I don't like waiting tables. I never have, I never will. And it's the only thing that

seems to be able to keep me in New York,

keep me in school. Allow me to afford

everything, you know. And it sucks. So what do you think

about the weekend so far? Uh, it'll get better. Oh, yeah you were

sick yesterday. I felt so bad. The roads were pretty bad. And then the winding roads? That probably

didn't help at all. It was terrible. It was so bad. That constant flash before

you have to throw up is... Yeah, I felt pretty

bad, and then uh, the van. That was kinda weird. No, I don't want to get wet,

I don't want to get dirty, I don't want to get cold... No, it should be fun though. We have snowsuits

and stuff, whatever. I can't move in

those things. Ha, Ha. Get the one piece suit

like in A Christmas Story. Well alright, thanks

for the interview. I'm gonna go see what

Mark and Cassy are doing. Hmm. O.K. Wakey, wakey,

eggs and bakey! Time to go. Hey pretty lady,

wanna go cave exploring? C'mon baby, I'm so sorry

about before and I promise you, we're gonna

have such a good time. And you know I love you. Please, please please. And what about Miriam? What about me? It's her birthday. You know you wanna have

a good time for Miriam. Please, I'm so sorry. Don't read your

book all day. OK, let's go get Tanya. Tanya!!! You coming? Please? She's pretty convincing. Hello, hello? You ever play

steam-roller Tanya? Steam-roller... No! Steam-roller! C'mon, time to go. NO! C'mon, I heard that there's

these Indian murals and paintings in the caves. I really don't care. You're gonna

want to see them. They're for your artwork. And everything that

you love to do, please? I don't care Mark. Pretty please. I don't care. Do it for the

Indians, please? No. Do it for Miriam? No. It's her birthday. I love you, but no. I love you. I don't want you to be

here by yourself all day. Because it's cold out Mark. It's not that cold out. It's about 50

degrees outside. It looks cold out

there, but it's not. We're gonna have fun. No we're not. What are you

gonna do out here? I'm gonna be comfy. Look at this bed. This bed is so nice. You know what's gonna

be even more comfy? After you're out in the cold

for a little bit, having a good time, then you can

come and crash inside. I don't want to be cold. I never want to be cold. Please? We're going. I'm making you go. I'm not going. That's it, you're going. Mark... I swear to God... She's going, I'll

drag her the whole way. Aw, don't you feel

bad for them Leo? No! This is what comes when you

try to push your girlfriend in the snow, and

she's stronger than you. How do you feel

about that Mark? That almost makes

this worth it, actually. Do that a couple more times

Mark, and we might be even. Come here love of my life. What? What is that? Well there's a

shot for you Leo. Oh, that's

pretty disgusting. Why would we go that way if

we came from the other way? That's the way we came. That's not the way we came. That's the way we came. I promise you that we

basically went in a generally

straight direction. So if we go back

the way we came. I don't remember a

straight direction. We basically went in a

generally straight direction? Can you please knock the

pride act off, and just admit that we're lost. I'm not being

proud right now. I'm just saying

that we... Why would I

want us to be more in the

woods than we are? OK, now this is the way

we went, so let's just go. Well we went the way you

guys suggested, not the way I wanted to go. I said we should go the

other way, you guys wanted to go back along the path

of the waterfall right? Well, oh, let's take this

unknown unmarked way that Mark suggests, or take

the path that we've already taken and know that leads

to a certain direction. That's not what we did. He's YOUR boyfriend. So it's MY fault now? No, I'm just

saying talk to him. Did you try your

cell phone? Well if there's no service

in the house, why would there be

service in the woods? I don't know. Maybe...it's

worth a shot, right? What about your

walkie-talkie? There's no one to

talk to on the channel. We can try

some channels? Does anybody see

anything around that... I don't see a

God-Damned thing! OK, calm down for one second

and let me ask a question. Do you see anything that you

might have noticed earlier, anybody? Trees? Would you knock off the

act Tanya, I'm over it. I'm over this too. Yeah, so is everybody,

join the f***ing club! Look around, maybe you

saw something weird, just look around. There was that deer thing. Wait, where's Miriam? Well, we can't just keep... Cassy, are you OK? Careful guys, OK? Did you just

say careful guys? Did you honestly

just say careful guys? What is your problem? Look, I didn't even

want to get out here. No one forced you to come. No, you convinced me. All you've done all weekend

is b*tch and moan and... You convinced me that

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