Excuse Me for Living Page #4

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TAKING YOU FOR LUNCH.

YOU DATE YOUR STUDENTS,

PROFESSOR BLACKMON?

THOMAS TEASES ME

BECAUSE HE KNOWS

I'M A CONFIRMED BACHELOR.

HE KNOWS THAT MEN MY AGE

AREN'T ONLY UNATTRACTIVE

TO YOUNGER WOMEN,

WE'RE INVISIBLE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, THOMAS?

YES, PLEASE,

THE USUAL PLACE.

I THOUGHT, ZOE, WE WOULD

DINE WHERE YOUR FATHER

AND I USED TO SUP.

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FINES OF NEW YORK'S HAUTE CUISINE.

- YASSOU.

- YASSOU FILE MOU.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

YOU BRING ME ALWAYS

GOOD LUCK, PROFESSOR.

( speaks Greek )

TWO OF THE USUAL, PLEASE.

THERE, ZOE.

SEE THE GORGEOUS GOLDEN

PYRAMIDAL ROOF,

AND THE SPLENDID

SPANDRELS?

IT'S THE 40-STORY NEW YORK

LIFE INSURANCE BUILDING.

DESIGNED BY CASS GILBER IN 1926.

THE INDIANA LIMESTONE,

THE GOTHIC STYLE.

AND AFTER TODAY, MY FAVORITE

ARCHITECTURE IN THE CITY.

AND WHY NOW YOUR FAVORITE?

BECAUSE IT'S

THE LIFE BUILDING,

AND ZOE MEANS LIFE

IN GREEK.

THIS WAS DELICIOUS,

PROFESSOR.

AH! WHAT TYPE OF LAW

DO YOU PRACTICE, ZOE?

A DIVORCE ATTORNEY.

AS YOUR FATHER'S DAUGHTER,

I'M SURE YOU DO YOUR BES

TO RECONCILE THE PARTIES

AND FIND HARMONY BETWEEN

THE HUSBAND AND WIFE.

I KNOW I'M NAIVE,

BUT I'M NOT A MODERN MAN.

I AM TERRIBLY:

SORRY, PROFESSOR,

BUT I HAVE:

AN APPOINTMENT.

CAN THOMAS TAKE YOU

ANYWHERE?

NO, NO, NO.

NOT AT ALL, DEAR.

I WAS ACTUALLY:

PLANNING ON STROLLING

UP TO THE NEW YORK

PUBLIC LIBRARY TO STUDY

A RARE BOOK THEY HAVE

ON NORSE MYTHOLOGY.

BUT I DO LOOK FORWARD

TO SEEING YOU AGAIN,

WHENEVER YOU THINK YOU CAN

TOLERATE THE COMPANY

OF AN OLDER MAN.

SIXTY IS YOUNG,

PROFESSOR.

THE INTERNET.

I FORGET WE'RE ALL

SO PUBLIC NOWADAYS.

AND I AM YOUNG.

THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

I SUPPOSE I JUS ACT THIS WAY SO

PEOPLE YOUR AGE:

DON'T THINK ME FOOLISH.

WELL, ADIEU,

SWEET GIRL.

AND ZOE,

PLEASE CALL ME BARRY.

I DON'T CARE

WHO TALKS FIRST.

I JUST WANNA:

HELP YOU.

OKAY. HELP ME WITH

YOUR DAUGHTER'S

TELEPHONE NUMBER.

TELL ME YOUR IMPRESSIONS

OF LAST NIGHT.

ROB IS HAVING DIFFICULTIES

DEALING WITH HIS LOSS

OF INFLUENCE AND CONTROL

OVER HIS SON'S LIFE.

YOU BRINGING HIM

TO SAY SO ALOUD:

WAS VERY THERAPEUTIC.

GOOD WORK, DOCTOR.

HE NEEDS TO LE HIS GRANDDAUGHTER KNOW

IT'S OKAY IF THEY JUS SIT TOGETHER QUIETLY,

OR WATCH A MOVIE

WITHOUT SPEAKING.

SHE'LL COME AROUND

WHEN SHE'S READY.

TELL THE WHOLE FAMILY

TO TAKE TWO ASPIRIN

AND CALL ME:

IN THE MORNING.

AMUSED.

STILL, YOU COULD BE

A TOP-NOTCH PSYCHIATRIST,

BUT INTELLEC IS NOT ENOUGH.

WHO SAID I WANNA

BE A SHRINK?

OR ANY KIND OF M.D.?

I KNOW FOR A FAC YOU WERE PRE-MED AT YALE,

AND YOU GOT INTO

EVERY MEDICAL SCHOOL

YOU APPLIED TO.

SO... WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

WHAT HAPPENED?

DIDN'T WANNA BE

ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS

GOING TO TRADE SCHOOL

TO FIX MENTAL FAUCETS.

I'D RATHER BE

A REAL PLUMBER.

SPEAKING OF PLUMBERS,

DID YOU EVER HEAR--

PLEASE STOP.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU,

AND STOP DEFENDING YOURSELF.

I'M NOT ATTACKING YOU.

YOU USE LANGUAGE

AS A WEAPON AND A SHIELD.

THE ONLY WAR:

IS INSIDE OF YOU,

BUT WORDS CAN'T HELP.

I'M SURPRISED AT YOU.

DON'T YOU KNOW

THAT THERAPY:

IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE

MONTHS, YEARS,

MAYBE FOREVER?

LAYING IT ALL:

ON THE TABLE SO SOON

ISN'T IN THE PSYCHIATRIC

PLAYBOOK, IS IT?

THIS IS:

NO GAME, DANIEL.

I'M NOT PLAYING

WITH YOUR LIFE.

NEXT TIME YOU JUMP

OFF A BRIDGE OR MIX

DRUGS WITH ALCOHOL,

YOU COULD PREVEN A BRILLIANT CAREER,

WITH A WIFE AND CHILDREN.

DEATH IS FOREVER.

IT CAN WAIT ITS TURN.

NOW TELL ME ABOU YOUR DEPRESSION.

WHAT ARE YOU,

SOME KIND OF MIND READER?

FIRST I'M A LOST LAMB

HEADSHRINKER.

NOW I'M A DEPRESSED NUT.

WHAT HAVE I GOT TO BE

DEPRESSED ABOUT ANYWAY?

I'VE GOT A TRUST FUND.

FRIENDS, A BEAUTIFUL

HOME AWAY FROM HOME

HERE IN ZOMBIEVILLE.

THIS... IS THE LIFE.

WHAT KIND OF LIFE

IS IT, HMM?

TRY STICKING TO:

YOUR REGIMEN,

IF YOU POSSIBLY CAN.

THEN MAYBE YOU CAN

PULL YOUR LIFE TOGETHER AGAIN.

YEAH.

SURE.

WHY DO YOU ATTEMP SUICIDE?

WHY NOT?

I WAS TOP OF MY CLASS

AT PREP SCHOOL,

AND VALEDICTORIAN

AT YALE,

DESPITE MY HABIT.

THEN I NEEDED:

MORE OF THE STUFF

AND MORE OFTEN.

FIRST FEW WEEKS:

OF MED SCHOOL,

I WAS SO ZONKED,

I COULDN' GET OUT OF BED.

SO I DROPPED OUT.

WHAT SHOULD I DO

NOW, DOC?

SPEND MY LIFE:

WHORING HALF THE TIME,

AND ASLEEP:

THE OTHER HALF,

WHILE MY BUDDIES

HAVE REAL LIVES?

I SCREWED UP...

ROYALLY.

BEYOND HELP.

YOU HAPPY NOW, DOC?

NO, NO. I'M NOT HAPPY.

AND YOU'RE NO BEYOND REDEMPTION.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, DANIEL.

THAT'S IT?

CARL ROGERS SAID,

WHEN I CAN ACCEPT MYSELF

AS I AM,

I CAN CHANGE.

I KNEW IT.

YOU ARE A CARL ROGERS

DISCIPLE.

HE WAS MY MENTOR.

WE PUBLISHED A COUPLE

OF PEER REVIEW ARTICLES

TOGETHER.

WE WERE CLOSE FRIENDS,

AND COLLEAGUES.

YOU'RE A CLOSE FRIEND

AND COLLEAGUE OF CARL ROGERS.

YES.

( phone ringing )

AHOY THERE, MATEY.

PRETTY ROUGH SEA YOU FOUND

YOURSELF IN. YOU OKAY?

ARGH, COULDN'T BE BETTER,

ME HEARTY.

'TWAS THE GROG

THAT DID ME IN, YOU SCURVY DOG.

I THINK IT WAS THE WENCH

THAT KEELHAULED YOU, DANDY MAN.

WE MISSED YOU AT MY QUOTIDIAN

BASH LAST NIGHT, OLD BEAN.

A CERTAIN TEMPTRESS

WANTS ANOTHER SHOT AT YOU.

YOU THINK CHARLIE WOULD

EVEN TALK TO ME AGAIN?

TALK ISN'T WHAT'S

ON HER MIND.

YEAH? WILL SHE BE THERE

SATURDAY NIGHT?

WITH BELLS ON:

HER CLOVEN TOES.

I DON'T KNOW.

I PROBABLY SHOULD

SIT THIS ONE OUT, BRUCIE.

HAVING YOUR STOMACH PUMPED

ISN'T THE FUN

THAT IT'S

MADE OUT TO BE.

- HI.

- NOT A PROBLEM, DANDY.

YOU SHOULD:

SIT THIS ONE OUT.

I'LL JUST TELL HER

THAT YOU CONSIDER HER

AN UNWORTHY SLU:

AND SHE OUGHTA:

TAKE UP WITH ME AGAIN.

WITH YOU?

YEAH. THERE'S NO

READY TOMATO:

LIKE THE ONE REBOUNDING

FROM PUKE ON HER DRESS.

OKAY, PAL. YOU'VE

SWEET-TALKED ME INTO

ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR

LOWBROW SOIREES.

YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO KNOW

A GIRL:

BY THE NAME OF:

LAURA BERNSTEIN, DO YOU?

HOW WOULD YOU COME

TO KNOW THE NAME OF

AN HONEST WOMAN?

I'M WAITING, BRUCIE.

YOU WON'T LIKE ME

WHEN I'M ANGRY.

I DON'T MUCH

LIKE YOU NOW.

UH, WELL, LAURA AND CHARLIE

WERE BUDDIES AT THE SORBONNE.

QUITE THE BUDDING

LITERARY LION, I HEAR.

BESIDES HER DARLING FACE,

LAURA'S A CONSUMMATELY

DECENT WOMAN.

NOT AT ALL YOUR TYPE,

DANDY MAN.

WHAT'S HER NUMBER?

I DON'T KNOW,

BUT I COULD ASK CHARLOTTE

TO BRING LAURA:

TO THE PARTY.

DON'T BE AN ASS.

ASK CHARLIE FOR THE NUMBER,

AND DON'T TELL HER

IT'S FOR ME.

I'LL CATCH YA LATER.

- BERTRAND!

- COMING, SIR.

BERTRAND, CALL

HAMPTON CATERING.

TELL THEM TO DOUBLE THE AMOUN OF PERRIER-JOUET FOR SATURDAY.

AND TELL PIROT TO BRING

EXTRA SNOW FOR DAN TOPLER.

OKAY, MORTY,

WHY DON'T YOU

START THE MEETING?

AS YOU ALL KNOW,

JACK HAS TO HAVE SURGERY

FOR THE TUMOR THEY FOUND

LAST MONTH,

AND JACK, WHY DON'T YOU

TAKE IT FROM THERE, HUH?

ACTUALLY, THEY FOUND

TWO TUMORS:

TWISTED AROUND:

MY KIDNEY.

THEY'RE GONNA SCHEDULE

SOME MORE TESTS,

AND MY OPERATION WILL BE

SOON AFTER.

BUT WHAT SCARES ME MOS IS THE FACT THAT,

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

OF BEING A DOCTOR,

I'M JUST A STRANGER,

ANOTHER PATIENT IN

A HOSPITAL:

I NEVER EVEN VISITED.

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