Expresso Bongo Page #7

investment in him.

You're not just exploiting

an unprotected kid, you know.

I assure you, we have no desire

to exploit anyone.

Anyone at all. Better sit down.

We don't want our boy

exhibited as a teenage curiosity.

Teenagers are regarded by the

corporation with the deepest reverence.

By me, too, I assure you.

We're quite prepared to pay

your client a fair fee.

It isn't the mere money, Harding.

We're loaded.

It's the principle of the thing.

How much have you in mind?

- Fifty.

- Oh, please!

Seventy-five. It's a documentary.

Yes, but Bongo Herbert

isn't an inexpensive herringbone!

We have the most eminent people coming

to discuss this Bongo and his symptoms.

I mean, his art.

It's a programme on the highest level.

And 100 is as far as we're prepared to go.

I've been watching you

very closely, Harding,

and I've come to the conclusion

that you're a deeply sincere person

and I'm gonna do my best to help you.

Well, I'm very glad if you feel

that way, Mr, um...

Uh, Jackson. So, we'll take the 100.

Uh, ask your cashier

to leave it for me on my way out.

- Very well.

- Now, about this eminent discussion.

Mmm-hmm.

I have one or two modest suggestions.

- Mmm.

- Do sit down.

Oh, dear.

Now, my dear Harding...

Well, here we are

in a typical expresso coffee bar.

And in this rather

synthetically exotic decor,

the teenagers relax after the day's work.

- Am I on yet?

- It's finished.

Oh, no, I missed it.

Missed my first film. How did I look?

You came out wonderful, Bongo.

No kidding?

Hey, why wasn't Johnny here to see me?

- What kind of a manger is he, anyway?

- For you, good.

Probably holding Mayer down

to a hot television set.

Perhaps I'll come on again, huh?

Well, I don't know about you,

but that left me absolutely breathless

just watching it again.

Now, what is the answer to this

astonishing phenomenon of our time?

With us in the studio tonight,

we have a distinguished

panel of experts to discuss it.

- The Reverend Tobias Craven.

- Good evening.

An important Harley Street psychiatrist.

Good evening.

And last, but certainly not least,

a man who has been responsible

for much of what we're here to discuss,

Mr Johnny Jackson,

a well-known artist manager.

- Hiya, cats!

- How the hell did he get on there?

Oh, that Johnny.

He's a really deep character!

Now, Doctor, would you say this was

just a healthy sign of high spirits?

It's not as simple as that.

Adolescents in our time

demand outlets for their frustration.

See? You're frustrated, Bongo!

- You need some bint!

- Seek elsewhere.

The drums Bongo beats may stand

for someone he doesn't like,

or they may be a simple means

of evacuating tension.

- What's all that about? Huh?

- Bint.

The whole mass of whirling conflict

surge up to a pounding climax.

Afterwards, in its relaxation of tension,

the face is almost beautiful.

Hear that? You're almost beautiful, Bongo.

- Do me a favour.

- Shh!

- Craven?

- Speaking personally,

I welcome the whole phenomenon.

After all, many popular songs

do have a touch of religion.

Uh, speaking for myself...

Of course, many others are frankly pagan.

Uh, speaking for myself...

We have to reach the people

at their own level.

Mr Jackson?

Still speaking for myself,

I would definitely say

that the Rev is onto something there.

This boy, Bongo Herbert,

we must all bear in mind,

is a real symbol of modern youth,

and this number which we heard him sing,

Voice In The Wilderness,

will, we believe, introduce a new era

in the hit parade.

Uh, the psychiatrist... Yes, Doctor?

Because get this, kids,

the disc of Voice In The Wilderness

will be on sale in your local

record shops any minute now.

Well, thank you, Mr Jackson.

There you have the...

There is, of course,

something in what Mr Jackson says.

I started a jive club

at our youth centre some time ago.

Later, we converted it into skiffle.

Now, I think it not impossible that

I start a bongo club in my crypt.

Oh, good for you, Rev!

A big hand for the Rev, kids!

You just heard the attitude of a really

great modern churchman,

if I may say so.

Just because we want a few kicks as well

is no reason we should be unreligious.

Oh, thank you, Mr Jackson.

There you have the...

And talking about religion, kids,

I don't want you to regard Bongo

as a substitute,

even though his latest Garrick recording,

A Voice In The Wilderness,

is the greatest you ever heard!

I am speaking on behalf of both

me and Bongo...

- Mr Jackson.

- ...when I say,

go to church this Sunday.

Me and Bongo often go together

to the same little local church

where Bongo was christened 18 years ago.

How can he say those things?

How can he lie so well?

...and his little sister and his dad,

who have made so many sacrifices for him.

Bongo gives thanks for all you

wonderful people

who've made his career possible.

I never had it so good

since the day I was born

Corn is growing

where there used to be barren soil

What a life

I struck oil

I never had it so rich before

I was sliding the slope,

then I signed up a dope

Bongo, you opened the door

I never had it so good

until I learned to be bad

Glad to tell you

I'm no longer misunderstood

I never had it so good, good, good

I never had it so good

We have to proceed cautiously and quietly.

It's number five in the top 10.

How cautious can you get?

Look! Look at my systematic planning

on the Dixie Collins LP.

She hasn't been seen here for years,

and already we have pre-sold 50,000!

Good for you. But how does it help us?

- We gotta have action!

- Shh! Quietly.

As a young ulcer man,

you should take things quietly.

Find a new gimmick

and make a second record.

You should pardon the suggestion.

But with a property as hot as Bongo,

I can go anywhere.

Sure, you can go to Nixa, Philips,

even HMV, after the second record.

Remember, I have an option.

Please.

If you don't want the boy, release us.

Let us make a little loot.

We consumed that few pounds of nicotine

and salt beef a long time ago.

My boy, business is a very unfair thing.

That's why I'm going to give you

a small percentage on your third record.

But we haven't made our second record yet!

First, we make a contract for the third,

and then we discuss the second.

I see. So, you do want the boy?

You can be frank with me, Mr Mayer.

The boy can be a first-class property

with Garrick direction. Understand?

- Yes?

- You car's here, Mr Mayer,

and the Dixie Collins press reception

is in half an hour.

Thank you, miss.

Details, we'll discuss later.

Now, I have to go to the Dorchester.

You know how demanding a real star can be,

even if she isn't twinkling

too brightly at the moment.

I know I can trust you to give

Bongo and me a fair deal, Mr Mayer.

You cannot!

But what alternative do you have?

Smoking, smoking!

What kind of a hobby is smoking?

You need a bint! I keep telling you.

'Bint is the best nerve tonic there is.

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