F*** the Prom Page #6

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because we're so cool now.

You know, it's kind of

bizarre to have a daughter

who's like the most

popular girl in school,

when we were thought of

as being so weird.

People still call us weird.

To our face.

[man]

You guys are weird!

See?

Well, what was

your prom like?

- [upbeat music playing]

- [mic feedback]

[man] Attention, everyone.

This is the moment

we've all been waiting for.

This is the crowning

of this year's

prom king and queen.

Murphy Dadner and

Christine Likinfelt.

[squeals excitedly]

Not!

[laughter]

I'm so sorry

that happened to you guys.

Ah, no pain no gain.

Listen, honey.

You're a good girl.

If going to prom and

being crowned prom queen

is gonna make you happy,

then we say go for it.

- [Murphy] Go for it.

- And don't you dare

worry about what

anybody says,

or what anybody thinks.

You be you.

[sighs] Okay.

- I love you.

- Aw, I love you, too.

Thank you.

You're welcome, chicken.

'Night, peanut.

I think this is the one time

we gave good advice.

Let's enjoy it, because it's

not about to happen again.

No, never.

You're killing me.

You're killing me!

You're taking bread out of

my children's mouth.

Get here. Look...

I don't care what...

Look at the...

Hey, Uncle Moish.

[stutters]

I'll call you back.

How much money would it take for you to

cancel all the limos for the prom tonight?

I'd never do that.

But what if I told you

it was for your nephew Efraim,

and he was willing to spend the rest

of his bar mitzvah money on it?

Listen, girl-who-uses-piercings-

to-get-attention,

How do I know you're really

here for my nephew Ephraim?

[punk rock music playing]

[keypad clicking]

[text message beeping]

[cell phone vibrating]

[Skype call]

Hey, lover.

When's the limo coming?

Limo canceled.

We're cabbing it.

I can't be seen

coming from a...

I mean, okay.

Doesn't matter,

as long as we're together.

Prom's gonna be lit.

Maybe you could do that thing on Instagram

where you're looking at me with heart eyes.

Yeah, whatever.

No need to get riled.

I know you're upset Maddy

and Kane got back together,

but don't take it out

on me.

I'm not upset about anything.

What did you say?

I know.

Competish for sure.

But I think everyone feels

really bad for you,

so we still have a shot

at winning king and queen.

Hello! Earth to Cole.

Either way, you're so

gonna get laid tonight.

[car approaching]

[car honking]

[car door opens]

What the f***!

Maddy!

Leave her alone, man.

Kane, don't.

Just wait, please.

What are you doing?

Cole, calm down.

How could you do this to me?

To all of us?

- It's complicated.

- Try me!

It's all happening too fast.

Did last night

mean nothing to you?

No. I just decided I'm not

gonna let petty revenge

get in the way of me having the

prom that I've always wanted.

Yeah, but with the guy

that ruined high school for me.

That guy!

[Maddy] I don't expect

you to understand.

I just wanna go to prom

with my boyfriend

to take pictures and enjoy

the last moment of high school

like any other normal kid.

Yeah, it's cliche,

but I don't care.

Everything about high school

is cliche.

Especially the part about the popular

girls being human garbage fires.

Look, I promise,

this is for the best.

Now you can go

to your art show.

[scoffs]

Look, I won't

rat you guys out.

But with everything

you have planned,

Just don't ruin prom

for me, okay?

Are you done

with your fight?

Can we go now?

[yells in anger]

Hey, rage monster,

what's going on in here?

What do you care?

I care that you're

destroying the house.

You're about to go off to

college and never look back.

I still live here.

Maddy went to prom

with Kane.

Oh!

Well, that makes sense.

Kane's awesome.

Are you serious

right now?

Yeah, I'm serious.

He's way cooler than you.

Oh!

Cole, I'm sorry. I know

how you feel about Maddy.

If I was 25 years younger,

I'd wanna hit that, too.

- Dad!

- And I know about your prom plans.

- How?

- You left your blueprints out.

- They were in my room.

- Yeah, out... in your room.

Okay? You know, sometimes I

come in here and I hang out.

Pretend I'm not an adult

with a job,

the responsibilities...

It's very stress relieving.

Oh, my God.

Sometimes I think what

it would be like to go back

and make different

choices, too.

You're being weird.

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

I was doing it for her.

Maybe.

But you were doing it for

the other kids, too.

Ever since you were

a little boy,

you were always much nicer

to people than I ever was.

I admire that.

You're being nice.

What's happening?

Maybe you didn't notice,

I'm kind of a dick.

- Well...

- No, don't argue!

I know it's true.

Which is why you have to

see your plan through.

So people like Kane

don't become like me.

I have so much regret

when I think about

how I treated people.

Oh, God.

What I did at prom.

But you were prom king.

You were popular,

had tons of friends.

I've seen the portrait.

[retro music]

Yeah, but I was an a**hole.

Which is why your mom

eventually left me.

Prom king was

the highlight of my life.

Except for you.

There was...

supposed to be like

a sweet moment, but...

- Yeah, so...

- Oh.

Cool.

Yeah.

So what happened

at your prom?

It wasn't my finest hour,

that's for sure.

Attention!

Attention, everyone.

This is the moment

we've all been waiting for.

This is the crowning

of this year's

prom king and queen.

Murphy Dadner and

Christine Likinfelt.

[gasps]

[squeals excitedly]

Not!

[laughter]

Did you see the look

on their faces?

I'm the prom king.

Obviously.

I'm gonna go

get laid, all right?

'Night, losers.

You did that

to Maddy's parents?

Yeah, and then I bought the

house right next to them,

so I could torment them

indefinitely.

That's insane!

Why don't you stop?

Because...

nobody sabotaged my prom.

Dad, you're reaching.

If someone had

ruined my prom,

I'd be much less

of an a**hole,

we'd live in a nicer house,

and your mom wouldn't have

abandoned you.

I'm begging you.

Destroy that prom.

You'd be doing everybody

a huge favor.

Good talk.

[upbeat music]

[techno dance music playing]

[cameras clicking]

Hey, hey, hey

You over there

I said, hey, look at me

I need another

Drink like sour sweet tea

Ain't gonna pay

So it better be free

See, all I really wanna do

Is have some fun

Twist that cherry now

With that tongue

Maybe tonight

You'll be the one

Party of one

Party of some

Party of young, young

Young...

Tell me the plan

Is it too much for

Me to understand?

Do I need to yell

For a yellow cab?

Party all night long

Drinking till we oh

We will never know

Right?

Until we party

Like it's wrong

This party rocking

What you gonna bring?

I got my lip gloss

Tight clothes

High heels and all black

Time to get this part rocking

What you gonna see?

See them bright lights

Fancy cars

Champagne showers

Movie stars

Time to get

This party rocking

Where's it gonna be?

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