Fantozzi Alla Riscossa Page #4

I had a rough day...

- Come, let's wash you with boric acid.

- No !

You shouldn't touch me.

I must continue to learn.

I have to study.

Tomorrow I have an exam.

I have to start studying right away.

I'm finished, I can't go on.

And that guy won't give me my diploma.

And what does this exam consist of?

It consists of....

Me robbing an old lady.

How old ?

An old geiser. I have to go and rob her.

What if that old lady was me ?

I'll disguise myself, I'll bring a cane.

Would you do all this for me ?

If this is important for you, Ugo.

It is important.

Stop worrying about it, I'll get you through this.

They organized everything down to the smallest detail.

- What is it ?

- Go !

- Which one is it ?

- This one. You must get her purse.

This isn't my Pinacia,

I mean ...

She hasn't got a penny on her.

You can see it from here.

There she is !

- Then, get going !

- I'm off !

Ugo, I'm over here !

In order to convince his teacher,

Fantozzi filled up Pina's purse

with all their life's savings.

- Please, stop !

- We'll meet again, Fantozzi !

Another one of destiny's errors ...

Fantozzi robbed the grand Barambani

who was disguised as an old lady

in order to spy on a swiss school.

After the tragic incident, Fantozzi was

brought in front of the jury of ten.

Get up, Fantozzi,

You don't belong there.

Really ?!

Pardon me, but you're not bothered by what happened ?

On the contrary, congratulations !

- Grab a seat over here !

- Here ?

You've shown an unexpected strength.

The jury apologizes for its mistake.

All these years, we didn't appreciate you for your true value.

But there's still time to remedy this.

We are offering you a position of responsability.

With unlimited career opportunities.

But because you've now joined our privileged circle...

We offer you an honorary membership to our polo club.

The first invitation is for Wednesday.

To polo, they invited me to polo !

But Fantozzi, understood the pole.

And came prepared with a dog sled.

Supplies for six months and a red tent.

- You have a strong sense of humour !

- Who ?

- Why ?

Excuse me, but when you said polo,

I didn't understand, the north pole or the south one?

You'll get far, Fantozzi.

Fantozzi's career : Director Wolf. Man.

Son. Of B*tch.

He had in his arsenal :

Secretary in mini skirt,

Business cards in calf leather.

And a company car with a driver.

Level two :
Director Dr. Ing.

Great A**hole, Man Of Sh*t.

Two secretaries in bathing suits.

Four cell phones.

Business cards in cobra leather.

A luxurious limo with a gay driver.

Level three :
Dr. Eng. Bastard.

Certified Thief.

Four topless secretaries.

Business cards of human leather made from the non-unionized.

Personal helicopter.

And three assistants for the briefcases.

Since he received the carriage pulled by two pairs of white horses

He was as a master of time

And found himself in a new position of qualification.

Genuine scarecrow.

Big head of str...

Excuse me, but what's....

- Pardon me, what are you doing in my office ?

- Who are you ?

- What do you mean who am I? I am Fantozzi !

- Fantocci !

- No. Fantozzi !

- Fine, fine...

- Is this your signature ?

- Yes, that's mine.

- Come here, come here !

- Where ?

- How about this one ?

- It's mine !

- Well !

- And this one and this one too ...

- This one here too !

- Get over here.

- And this one ?

- Wonderful !

- And this one here ?

- It's mine.

- Then, you're responsible for everything !

- Yes, I signed everything here.

Everything, got it ?

Here, this, that...

- Then, you're coming with us...

- What happened ?

- What am I accused of ?

- Fraudulent banking.

This time he obtains the diagnostic:

complete ignorance.

But also because the defense lawyers

used in his defense

his memoirs authored by his wife Pina

with the purpose of influencing the judges

And which the publishers turned into a best seller.

A strong argument especially for

for the female audience.

I'm from the "Peace" paper,

may I ask you a few questions ?

- Ugo !

- Here in front of the prison gate.

- Kiss the loser, madam !

- I'm kissing him...

Let's get a photo with the book !

Look over here, loser !

Let's get one with him holding the book too.

Stop, that's enough !

Why are you smiling ?

Put on the face of a loser.

The title was set by the publisher.

Excuse me Pina, but you've told here to everybody

even he incident with the octopus.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Fine, you didn't mean to hurt my feelings.

I get it !

But here you make me seem like a monster,

like a sexual maniac.

- Like one who does it with octopodes !

- To demonstrate your navety.

- Your candor !

- But you're not demonstrating my navety.

You're only demonstrating your indifference.

And that nothing about me interests you.

You understand ?

You weren't even jealous !

- Of an octopus, frankly, I am not.

- But of the Prince of Darkness, are you jealous ?

With whom should I go to make you jealous ?

With a Hungarian breed horse?

Maybe like that you would be a little...

Go to sleep, turn off the lights.

Calm down.

I'm not sleeping. You go to sleep.

I can't sleep !

Stop it.

Sleep !

Everybody will see me from now on as the octopus maniac ....

What's it like to be happy with a loser ?

What a great title, Mrs. Congratulations !

- Fantastic !

- And now be frank.

- How did your husband take all this ?

- Well. Very well !

- Really ?

- My husband has all the faults in the world.

- But he is a special man.

- Then, why didn't he join you today ?

- Yes, why ?

- He was also invited !

Because he doesn't know how to speak in public.

He's shy.

Come on, say it !

He's a dumb ass !

- He's a very humble man.

- In conclusion, a mediocre man.

- I didn't say that.

- But you wrote it !

Let's not beat around the bush, madam.

- The success of this book..

- Just say it, he is a sh*t !

The success of this book is equal

to the number of mistakes of your husband ?

- Exactly !

- Excuse me, madam !

And now as woman to woman

After everything you wrote about your husband...

Do you still love him ?

I respect him very much.

Aren't you afraid that the success of this book

may have negative effects ?

- No, no !

- Absolutely, on the contrary !

- Everything is clear.

- Yes, quite clear !

- Everything is easy.

- Yes, quite easy.

I ask you to reflect on this decision

one more time.

You've been married for 35 years.

- For 37 ! Your honour.

- Too many.

There's nothing more between you two ?

Physical attraction...

Your beautiful daughter, grand-daughter...

They seem adorable.

Look at them !

Think about us, father.

Do it for me ! For us !

It's better like this, my darling.

I think I've made my decision.

I think he might be right.

I might not have been the ideal wife for him.

It's clear that I didn't help him.

I didn't stimulate him enough.

She didn't let me live my life, your honour.

She's always done it. The last time

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