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Fart: A Documentary Page #7
- TV-PG
- Year:
- 2016
- 74 min
- 241 Views
He's both all in one.
We got the best
of both worlds.
Yeah, he's got--
he's both.
I'm a toss-up.
You never know.
You never know.
And then you have--
you come into
which is the most
obnoxious type, is it?
- The silent but violent.
- That's bad.
Or the noisy
but innocent.
Worse, in terms
of producing humor,
uh, I think,
noise has more potential
to produce humor.
( chattering )
( farting )
( men shouting )
As far as what might
make me a bit squeamish,
I think
it's the smell.
I don't know
if he held it in
for that time or what.
You know,
the noise is funny,
but when it smells
so bad...
- That you can just taste it?
- ...that's just gross.
That's a bonus.
Well, Jaken,
do your farts reek?
No.
They really do.
I mean,
I didn't mind smells
associated with farts
too much
until I learned
that smells are actually
produced by
physical molecules.
And whenever
I remember that--
whenever I think
there's something physical--
from somebody else's...
insides
in my nostrils,
then that tends
to make me a bit queasy.
Female interviewer: Thank you
for teaching me that.
Female interviewer:
Yeah, there's actually
particles in the air.
Yeah, we know.
We don't wanna think about it.
( gasps )
Really?
Yeah, you really
are tasting it.
( groaning )
Female narrator:
The "escapee,"
which takes place
when trying to pee
at the urinal
or forcing a poop.
( giggling )
It's not like
you just pooped on him.
- I mean, it...
- Well, sorta.
- It's in the air.
- I know.
It went down
his throat, right?
Female narrator:
This is almost
always followed
by an overwhelming sense
of shame and embarrassment.
If this does take place,
remain calm.
Pretend it did not happen.
If you are in the vicinity
of this happening,
do not acknowledge.
It is uncomfortable
for all involved.
Well, children
absolutely adore farting.
no matter how proper
they are, you know,
has some kind
of little expression
that they use
with the kids.
You know,
because everybody farts
and kids fart,
and kids find farts funny.
So adults
have to deal with it
in one way
or another.
( card farting )
( giggling )
So they would have
all these expressions like,
"Somebody let Fluffy
of the leash."
- ( fart noise )
- ( giggling )
Uh, "Did somebody
step on a duck?"
And if you've ever
farted in the shower,
you know, facing away
from the shower,
you know that when
you fart it-- it--
it makes a
quacking sound.
- You know?
- Quack.
- ( quacking )
When it came time
for this third book,
that just seemed like a--
like a good title.
- Boy:
Stop!Mother:
What does your daddy
do that stinks?
- He farts.
- ( laughing )
Mother:
Is that funny?
And I'm brilliant
If you--
if I want--
if you happen to be
on a long-haul flight,
and there's
a child crying,
then I can--
I can stop them crying.
I can make them laugh.
And I do it
by doing this.
( farting )
Within seconds,
they're falling about.
Woman:
Ooh!
Ah, there's
just something...
With adults
it doesn't work
quite so well.
- ( farting )
- Woman:
Never mind.With children,
they love it.
There's just something
about that sound.
( blowing raspberries )
My kids like my fart app
on my kindle.
Male announcer:
If you need to clear
a room fast
or just make someone laugh,
iFart for the iPhone
may be just what
you're looking for.
Select any of the sounds,
but with new features
like sound recorder,
"Fart a Friend"
and many more...
( various fart
noises playing )
iFart charges everything.
Think of it though.
of your butt.
- Well, in the--
- How is that not funny?
Please don't say goodbye
I know that most girls
Try to keep
their flatulence inside
But I can't lie
I need a man
who knows the past
A lot of gas,
that smells the gas
Is here to last
for infinity to beyond
- Rotting gas
- ( vocalizing )
- I farted
- ( vocalizing )
- Smells like ass
- ( vocalizing )
- I definitely farted
- ( vocalizing )
- I think I farted
- On a wall
- I think I farted
- In the bed
- I think I farted
- On the TV
I think
I fa a-a-a-a
- Rotting gas
- ( vocalizing )
I'll be
coming round the mountain
- When she comes
- ( fart noise )
I'll be coming
around the mountain
when she comes
( fart noise )
Uh, one candle is still...
- Oh, one left.
- One left now.
Make a wish.
Make a wish.
( laughs )
( grunts, farts )
My kids can't do it
without announcing it.
They'll do it and of course,
- Mom, I farted!
- ( laughter )
Really?
Yeah, pull my finger.
Gail Hale:
Well, we were--
we were on a cruise ship
and my sisters and--
we were on the elevator...
Oh, the elevator fart.
...and the elevator
door opened
and these people
were getting in and I said,
"You don't
wanna come in here."
Do not go in there.
Female interviewer:
It was him.
- Yeah.
- I don't recall this story.
- It was in Alaska.
- Ah.
Dog farts
How unfortunate,
oh, no
Dog farts
Someone open a window...
- Female interviewer: Right.
- Yes.
Female interviewer:
So, what would you say
is your most embarrassing
fart story?
It's embarrassing
for the person that does it,
isn't it sometimes?
None of them
are embarrassing for me.
- He just lets it rip.
- When it's time it's time.
I think, yes,
it's obviously
embarrassing
if you're with
complete strangers
or people you've just
recently met.
And, uh, I think
in some circumstances
if someone does,
it's followed by silence,
and, um--
awkward silence.
I'm not sure
I get embarrassed
about farting.
One time I had this
big fart at Target...
In that sense,
it's not something
that I associate
with, uh--
uh, humor
in my own life really.
I can imagine some
very prim and proper situations
where the one that did it
was probably
terribly embarrassed
or mortified.
But everybody around
'em was just...
Couldn't wait
to get outside
to bust out laughing
You know.
Houston:
Okay
Yes, of course,
if it's people
you know or family,
then, uh, uh--
somebody
will make a witty...
- Remark?
- Remark. That's right.
If I wanna fart,
I just do.
It's not-- it's not me.
I-- I don't fart.
Cameraman #2:
If you toot,
do you blame it
on somebody else?
No.
Kind of no,
not really.
Cameraman #2:
So you take responsibility
for your own farts?
Of course I do.
Then how'd you know
it was me?
We knew.
I don't know
what you're hearing,
but it's not me.
Uh-uh.
Denial.
You normally don't
raise your hand.
( laughs )
- That was me.
- ( fart noise )
Yes, I...
I mean, I don't
announce it, uh, obviously.
( blowing raspberries )
That was me.
( blowing raspberries )
That was me.
Actually,
sometimes I do announce it.
Uh, but, I mean,
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"Fart: A Documentary" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fart:_a_documentary_8025>.
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