Fart: A Documentary Page #8

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it depends on the company,

I guess.

Sometimes I just--

you know, I sneak them out...

Same as everybody else does.

Female interviewer :

Right. Yeah.

( fart noise )

Um, originally,

when I started, obviously,

I discovered this ability

to breathe, um--

with the bottom end.

I'm just gonna

give you one for level.

Yeah?

( farting )

( laughing )

That was, uh,

that was George Michael,

that was.

( laughing )

A careless whisper.

I was introduced

by Kelsey Grammer--

Fraser of Cheers...

Two, one...

( laughter )

...you know,

and he gives a monologue

and then he's

with a lady actress,

um, I think her name

was Brett Butler,

and she says,

"Oh, that farting guy

was awful."

You know,

his anecdote is...

it's the first thing

we ever laugh at in life,

and possibly the only thing

we can always laugh at.

I-- I think--

I think you know what's

going on here now.

Um, then it becomes

less funny and, uh,

adults who are--

who aspire to be more

sophisticated and cultured

tend to try

and distance themselves

from that kind of humor.

Uh, but it's like

any taboo, I suppose,

uh, it always

has the potential

to resurface

in humorous ways.

And so,

it always tends

to have a-- you know,

a-- a humorous

potential farting.

Um, but, yes,

I mean, it's--

it's more

associated with, uh,

children

and childish humor.

Which is a shame.

Swift, you know,

wrote a lot of things

about people farting

because he saw

that as an expression

of our basic humanity

that we're always

trying to cover up.

And, therefore,

it's always funnier

than it really is.

Didn't you say something

about the...

You were in

the underground in London

- with a lot of people.

- Oh, that's right.

- What is it?

- I went to a soccer match--

football match--

many years ago,

and it was

absolutely packed, you--

like sardines...

Woman over P.A.:

This is a Piccadilly line

service to Oxbridge.

...and you couldn't move.

Couldn't move.

One of my colleagues

from work had been

drinking beer,

hot dogs, onions--

- the whole lot...

- What a mixture.

Well, anyway,

halfway along the journey,

he dropped one.

The moment, um, I...

I tentatively

made this claim,

to be the world's

only performing flatulist.

There were moans and...

You could tell--

you could actually hear it

passing up the coach,

the carriage

I'm not so tentative now,

because I know

there are other flatulists

or other people

who perform my art.

As the complaints

moved up the train,

gosh, and nobody could--

you couldn't escape.

You couldn't walk away.

You couldn't do anything.

- ( laughing )

- It was disgusting.

But to actually go out there

and perform a show

and-- and--

and make a living out of it,

uh, which I do...

- ( farting )

- ...Strangely, I--

I still find it bizarre.

You know, and there's times

when I try and retire.

And it's like a calling,

it pulls me back.

It pulls me back.

It says, "You won't do that.

No. You will

go to Japan, you know,

and you will fart on the

television on Fuji TV.

Okay.

One, two...

For the entertainment value,

of course.

Not-- not lots of times,

but on the few occasions

I've had hostile,

um, sort of reactions

from an audience.

( farting )

Luckily, it's not

a lot of the time.

And I've had to sort of say,

well, obviously,

it's not for you

and just wind it up.

I think once

was a BMW sales conference.

I am ready.

Is the orchestra ready?

- Are you ready?

- Yes.

( fart )

Oldfield:

He said, come on the show

and we'll sing a duet.

So I came on the show

and we sang a duet

of "Da Doo Ron Ron."

I met him on a Monday

and my heart stood still

( farting melody )

It was, you know,

it was a piece

of classic television.

And my heart stood still

( farting melody )

That was it.

I was never shown on the BBC.

And by today's standards

it's quite mild.

- And his name was Bill

- ( farting melody )

But at the time,

it was just, no, no.

I mean, we're going back,

I think it was '90...

'97-- 1997, so, you know,

attitudes were different.

( farting )

And, really,

when I create something,

it's a labor of love.

I just take it

and reform it,

but, you know,

it's still a labor of love.

This is what I do

as a job.

And-- and-- and to me,

that's a work of art.

Da doo ron ron ron

- ( farting )

- ( laughing )

( sighs heavily )

It's just a fart.

You know to me,

all you have to do

is fart over it.

You don't realize

what a lot of hard work

goes into that,

um, farting, really.

You know, I once

recorded a version

of "In The Air Tonight"

by Phil Collins.

- I remember

- ( farting )

It's a very...

You know, music

is a precious creation.

It's something

they've created.

So they're very--

you like to laugh.

A lot of big artists

like the fact

that I've done

"In The Air Tonight"

by Phil Collins.

You know, but if you

turn around to them and say,

well, could we do one

of your tracks?

Oh, no, no,

no, no, no, no.

So, they like to laugh,

but you-- we mustn't

despoil their work.

( laughter, applause )

All right.

I do understand

that-- that, you know,

when you create something

and it's a work of,

you know, in your eyes

that's a work of art--

it's a labor of love,

and then a guy comes along

and farts all over it.

- I remember--

- ( farts )

Jim Dawson:

In this country,

there's been some big changes

since my book came out.

In 1999,

when "Who Cut The Cheese?"

came out, uh,

of course,

there were a lot

of films by that time

that had farting gags

in 'em.

But the "L.A. Times,"

for example,

would not

use that word.

And then over time,

I saw that--

that they've started

using the word "fart"

in the, you know...

If they were talking

about old people, you know,

he's a, you know,

he's an old fart.

We're so old,

we fart dust.

And then gradually,

they would start--

they would

quote someone

that said something

about fart jokes

because

after a while,

the idea of fart

jokes and films

became sort of like

a big topic out here.

Because every comedy

had at least

one fart joke scene.

You know, and it became

sort of like, you know,

like a, um...

a bad example

of comedy.

You know,

is there, you know,

can there be at least

one comedy film

that doesn't have

a fart joke in it?

But I-- I think

a lot of the--

a lot of sort

of comedy cowboy movies--

Yeah, well,

"Blazing Saddles"

is the classic.

Well, if somebody

would make a comment like that,

the "L.A. Times"

would print it.

So, gradually, they would,

you know, they would...

The word "fart"

crept into the, um, newspaper,

and I think

that really expresses

the overall acceptance

that's been going

on for the last,

well, let's see,

what, this is,

uh, 2013.

So we're

talking about,

you know,

if it was 14 years ago.

I think generally it's best

for people to get them out.

- Ah...

- ( laughs )

- Because...

- ( indistinct )

...there's nothing

worse than a cooked one.

( all laughing )

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