Final Exam Page #3

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Listen, listen.

You think about it.

And I think you're gonna

find out that it's real easy.

Bye.

He'll do it.

Oh, like a maniac.

Let's go.

I should've had a salad

instead of this spaghetti.

Well, why didn't you?

Hi.

- Well?

- What?

What did he want?

It's fraternity business.

I can't tell you.

Another secret?

I hate all these silly secrets!

I know you do, Janet,

but it's a lot of fun.

Well, do you think it's

much fun for me to sit here

and eat lunch without you?

( laughing ) No, of course not.

Well, it isn't like

it's the first time, Gary.

Yeah, I know.

And I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Uh-oh.

Time to go.

You want to hear a secret?

What?

I don't want to tell you in here

in front of all these people, silly.

Well, I got to go study.

I'll see you guys later.

Oh! Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

(Sirens)

All right.

What's going on out here?

We was told there was a shooting.

Multiple shootings at that.

We better find a multiple shooting

or somebody is gonna wish that

a multiple shooting was

all the troubles he had.

Now, who called?

There seems to have been

a misunderstanding, Sheriff.

We've all been the victim

of a harmless college prank.

You call me?

We got all our calls on tape

so you might as well admit it.

I didn't deny that I called you.

I thought it was real.

It could've been.

I mean, senseless murders

are a modern phenomena.

Can I help it if people are crazy?

These type of murders

happen all the time.

Oh, they happen,

but not in my county.

And not on my supper time.

Suppose you tell me about it.

Well, a group of masked perpetrators

simulated a terrorist style raid

in which several co-conspirators

pretended injury or death.

It's not my fault.

Where'd you learn to talk like that?

( Chuckles )

Watching "Dragnet".

Anybody recognize 'em?

Or their car?

Oh yeah, it was a brown van.

Fortunately, I got

the license number.

Why didn't you tell me?

Let me have that.

Jesse, this is Sheriff calling.

Listen, can you give me a

rundown on a brown van?

License number MPM112.

10-4.

Where you going, bulldog?

I got a exam.

It'll wait.

Vehicle's registered

to John Chandlis

of Shelby, North Carolina.

No outstanding warrants.

He's clean, Sheriff.

Out.

Anybody know a John Chandlis?

Is that your daddy, bulldog?

Actually, Sheriff,

he didn't kill anybody.

I mean, it was a...

it was just a joke.

There's about 50

laws that he did break,

one of which was getting me to ride

all the way out here for nothing.

But I guess I could run

this bird in on that one.

Well, I'm sure

nobody meant any harm.

I mean, sometimes students

just have to let off a little steam.

Hello there, Quinton.

Get yourself some criminals here?

Didn't you hear about

that multiple shooting?

Did these guys do it?

I thought it was pretty funny

myself, didn't you?

Bulldog here was in on it.

But you know I think I'm

gonna take 'em all in.

Maybe bust a few heads.

Now, Quinton,

that don't sound like you.

You used to enjoy a good time

until you got so full of yourself.

That's a little different.

But now, I do remember a time

when the library caught on fire,

and somebody hid the fire

hose from the fire department.

You guys sat around

dranking beer all night,

chanting, "Damn good fire" until

the place burnt down to the ground.

(laughing)

Oh now, you think

that's funny, don't ya?

You think that's funny?

Well, we'll just see!

'Cause one of these days you

boys are gonna be in trouble,

and I am going to be

there to take you home!

See, these boys are

looking at a bad end.

Bulldog, me and you gonna lock

horns again one of these days.

And when we do,

you gonna get one phone call.

Don't you lose this

dime 'cause if you do,

ain't nobody ever

gonna here from you again.

Hey there, Sheriff.

What do you need?

Well, every thing's under

control around here, Sheriff.

Now you know good and well

that I'm holding up my end.

And there's not one bit of

crime on this whole campus.

Not yet.

I gotta get to work.

Hey, Coach.

We still going

hunting in the morning?

Not if you've been drinking, Mitch.

Now you know that I

don't hunt with no boozer.

Well, I don't either.

Coach!

When you gonna

put away them toys?

You know that bull hunting's

only for Indians and moonshiners!

When I get so old and ornery

that I can't hit nothing except

with a scatter gun,

I'll give you a call.

I got to get to work, boys.

Hey, Coach.

You can pick me up

down here at Moore Hall,

and I'm gonna clock out

now at sun up, ya hear?

We'll see.

(music)

Are you still at it?

Yeah.

I want to get a good grade.

Why?

Is that so bad?

No, but once you get out of school,

nobody cares what your grades were.

The important thing to know

is how to get what you want.

That's who'll help you later on.

Not grades.

Yeah, but good grades can't hurt.

Neither can good times.

I'd rather know how to flirt.

One thing's for sure, you'll

never catch me studying chemistry.

Not while there's a man teaching it.

Watch!

Hi. Excuse me.

Could one of you give me a hand?

Sure.

Oh, thanks.

I just wanted to carry these

down to my car

so I didn't have to

do it in the morning.

Are you sure you don't mind?

No.

( laughs)

No, No.

Oh, okay.

Thank you.

See how easy it is?

I just don't know what I

would've done without you boys.

(music)

Hi, Radish.

Do you have any aspirin?

Sure.

I've been reading so

long that my brain hurts.

What's the matter?

Oh, life.

It's just not fair.

No, but at least it's

not fair to everybody.

Or is that a paradox?

You know some people

have it so much easier.

You mean Lisa?

Is it that obvious?

It's only logical.

You're living with

a girl that has a free ride.

It looks easy, but she'll

pay a price sooner or later.

There is no free brunch.

I'm not jealous.

Well, not the bad kind of jealousy.

But it's just so easy for her.

I guess that's what I resent.

It's natural.

- Well, I like Lisa.

- I know.

It's not her fault.

But I just don't know what

I'm gonna be able to do

when I get out of school.

And she can get

anything that she wants.

Okay. Okay.

She knows how to use

what she's got, but well,

you have different qualities.

You men have it so easy.

You know what

you want from the beginning,

and you can just go

right out there and get it.

Yeah. Right.

I want to be on a SWAT team.

I sound like a silly girl, don't I?

I'm sorry.

Thanks for the aspirin.

You don't sound silly to me.

Lisa?

Hmmm.

Hi.

Has anyone been in here?

Um, no. Why?

I don't know.

Seems like some of my

things were moved around.

I can't find the book

I was just reading.

Well, is there

anything else missing?

Oh, no, no. I didn't mean

anyone would steal.

Doesn't it feel like to you

something's wrong around here?

( scream )

I don't think that was funny!

Well, I don't either!

You don't think I did that?

But it was your book.

Introduction to Abnormal Psychology.

Oh, pardon me. I'm so glad

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