Final Exam Page #4

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there's still somebody here.

Guess what?

I've got a secret.

It's just wonderful.

Oh, I bet you're in love.

No, of course not.

Well, I mean, sure I'm in love.

But that's nothing new.

It sure isn't.

Not for you, princess.

Anway, it's better than that.

I can't tell you.

It's a secret.

Then why did you

burst in here yelling,

"Hey! Guess what?"

Because if you guess it,

I won't be telling a secret.

- I bet it's Gary, isn't it?

- Uh-huh.

- Really?

- That's great!

Uh, that means you got pinned.

Oh, you guessed.

But please don't tell anybody!

It really is a secret.

He'll kill me!

Wait a minute!

He should be proud.

He should want people to know.

Well, it's not that.

If his fraternity brothers find out,

they'll tree him and torture him.

Well, he doesn't want

to go through that.

How romantic.

He must really love you.

He just doesn't want to be tied

to a tree and covered with ice

until I can rescue him!

Personally, I think

it might be sexy.

But you're not the

one covered in ice.

Well, come on.

Let's see it.

What?

The pin, silly.

The thing you're so excited about.

Oh.

Oh my God!

I lost it.

He's gonna kill me!

Well are you sure you

pinned it on right?

Gary did it.

He should know how.

It's his pin.

He pinned it right on my sweater.

I'll be he loved that.

It's probably caught in your shirt.

He's got to have the pin for the

pledge meetings or he's gonna be in

real trouble with the brothers!

(laughing)

It's not funny!

Yes, it is!

I found your pin right

where Gary pinned it.

Turn around.

Where was the sweater

when he pinned you?

In your lap?

It doesn't matter where it was!

We're in love.

(laughing)

Ooh, I think we were

a little too hard on her.

(music)

Conference time four eyes.

Come in, Igor.

You know I'm not believing

you called the cops

on the mighty house of Gamma.

Giving that dumb Sheriff my

tag number was not a good idea.

- Well, I didn't realize...

- Now, I have to kill you!

Wildman, you shouldn't

perpetrate a crime

unless you've considered

all the consequences.

But don't feel bad.

So many great crimes

are ruined by tiny slip ups.

I'm talking about death!

I'm talking about cold,

clammy, maggot infested death!

Hey, that's enough, Wildman.

Come on.

- Oh'.

- Come on. Let's go.

(music)

( footsteps )

Bull's eye.

That wasn't so bad after all.

(door closing )

(screaming)

Hello, pledge.

- How'd you do?

- Just fine.

Is this it?

You might be Gamma

material after all.

If he makes it through night.

(laughing)

Hey, I did it.

Now, let me go.

I got to study, too, ya know?

Sir!

Sir.

You know I'm afraid it's

not gonna be that simple.

Now you want to be a Gamma?

And you do!

You do!

I do! I do!

You're going to have to learn how

to abide by all the lofty ideals

and traditions of our noble brother.

Yeah, I know.

But I got to study too, sir.

Well then where's your pledge pin?

Oh!

(yelling)

- Tie 'em up!

- Let me go!

Get his clothes off!

Let's get some water on him!

And shaving cream!

Hey!

(yelling)

Get off me!

- Woohoo!

- Let's get those ropes tied!

- All right! All right!

- Let's get those ropes tied!

Woohoo!

Are you okay?

Please someone

get me out of here!

Yeah!

(screaming)

Is it cold?

Tell Janet to

get me out of here!

I'll go get her!

Tell her to hurry!

Well, pledge.

That's all there is to it.

We just wanted to make sure

that you're really in love

because we don't want any unhappy

romances at the Gamma house.

I love her!

Really, I do!

(laughing)

Let's set it on fire!

We can't do that, Wildman.

He's got his love

to keep him warm.

(laughing)

Let's get back to the house.

- Yeah!

- Woohoo!

Has anyone seen Janet?

- Uh-uh.

- It's really important.

If you see her,

tell her they treed Gary.

Poor thing.

You know, she's supposed to

stay where someone can find her.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Can't you see that I'm studying?

Janet'.

What's the matter with you?

Hey, you were so

happy this afternoon.

I'm still happy.

It's just that I'm depressed.

Well then, let's hear it.

It's Gary.

I'm starting to have doubts.

Oh, you are?

Well, that happens to everyone.

It'll work out.

It's not that

I don't love him a lot.

I've never loved anyone

so much since Johnny Wooker

in the 10th grade.

But it's just never

been so serious before.

You're just pinned.

It's not legal or anything.

In fact, it's still a secret.

Well, I may have gotten

a little carried away.

I'm afraid, a few people

already know, too.

Even so, it's just a pledge pin.

It only means what you

and Gary want it to.

Well then, why do they make

such a big deal out of it?

They harrass you to

death if they find out.

Nobody ever did that in high school,

and I went steady with lots of guys.

Yes, I know.

I used to think

fraternaties were cool.

(laughing ) I'll tell you,

you're tied to a tree,

and you just want to

finish him off right there.

We can't do that.

We wouldn't be able to abuse him!

Hmmm.

Without pledges, man,

we'd have to go into town

and spend money for fun.

Oh.

( Phone ringing )

Pledge!

Gamma House.

Test or pills.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, we could get him.

Yeah, but I've got to tell you

that during final exams

prices rise with demand.

Okay-

I'll see you in an hour.

You know where

we can get any speed?

Oh, no.

I don't use that stuff.

It keeps me awake.

I know that, dummy.

I mean, some people do study.

We're out of pills!

Nobody has any pills anymore!

You realize we could make a killing?

You know, I believe in

studying the old fashioned way,

with stolen tests. ( laughs )

Look, if we could find tests,

we could find pills.

Don't they have any pills in

the Coach's training room?

No! No!

Those are pain pills.

Those didn't help me study.

Well, who cares?

If they give you a buzz,

so much the better.

Look, you can get 'em.

Don't ya have a key?

Yeah, I got a key

to the weight room.

That's just to work out, though.

I can't get into the pills

unless I break the door down.

(gargles)

You got it.

Um-hum.

Oh no! No! No!

They'll know someone broke in!

Remember our friend, Radish?

We still owe him one.

Oh! Oh! ( laughs)

The more damage, the better.

( laughs )

This looks like a job for Wildman!

Woohoo!

( Crying )

It's okay.

Just relax.

Relax a little more..

You need to stop

talking to yourself.

Jan will be here soon.

Oh, please, Janet be here soon!

That b*tch is always late.

Janet?

Janet, is that you?

Janet?

Hello?

Anybody, can you help me?

I'm freezing!

- Over here.

- Oh, good Mitch.

Untie me quick, okay?

I'm freezing!

- I can't rightly do that.

- What?

Working man just never

messes with tradition.

Why you done

been treed there, boy'.!

Yeah, I know!

A man takes a woman.

He's got to pay that price.

Come on, Mitch!

I'll pay ya anything!

- Untie me!

- Pay me? With what?

Your good looks?

I can't untie you, but I

tell you what we can do.

We can drink a toast to

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