Finding Joy Page #4

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I'd like you to apologize to

my friend when she gets back.

Yeah, right.

Look, she has seen every

doctor in this hospital

Over the past several weeks,

Some of us more than once.

Quite frankly, she's driving

us all a little nuts.

I don't think that's any way to

talk about... Hypos on a quest.

Biggest time-Wasters ever.

Hypos?

Hypochondriacs.

Major suicidal tendencies.

Very touchy if you even think

about questioning them.

Sorry.

Unprofessional.

W- Wait. W-Wait.

So, sh-She's...

she's not dying?

No.

Have a nice day.

( HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING )

( HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING )

( CRYING )

Ohh.

Oh, honey.

Ohh.

Are you ready to shine?

You should just talk

to him, for a change.

Oh, gosh, honey.

Don't worry.

Don't worry,

everything is fine.

Come on, we're

gonna be late for school.

If you didn't yell

all the time...

( STIFLING A YELL )

I do not yell all the time!

I'm sorry.

Oh, don't play that teenage clich with me.

It doesn't suit you.

Come back! We're gonna

be late for school!

Stop saying that!

Um...

just, um...

get your...

Get your beauty rest.

Not that...

Not that you need any.

( DOOR CLOSES )

See you tomorrow?

"...Can happen...

"like all...

things."

( INDISTINCT MUTTERING )

( KNOCKING ON DOOR )

Melanie, if you're

trying to make me say it...

Mel?

Mel?

Mel!

Mel, baby!

She's not here.

I searched the whole house,

Inside and... inside.

She's not picking up.

Oh, my goodness. I'm supposed to be

driving her to school right now.

Well, she's gonna be late.

Oh, really, Marshall?

Maybe she walked.

No! It is 6.5 miles!

So call the school. They'll let

us know when she gets there.

No, no. Her backpack is upstairs.

She's run away.

Oh, and it's me.

What did you say?

What's going on?

Mel's missing.

I mean, why would she run away?

Why wouldn't she?

MARSHALL:
No,

she didn't run away.

Did you say something?

Just shut it!

I have to get outta here!

Drive around, something!

Where are you gonna drive?

It's not like she's

got a GPS in her...

she saw you the other night.

In the bathroom!

PATSY:
Marshall!

I'll drive!

Uh, maybe joy knows

where she is.

I- I'm gonna go

with Kyle, baby.

You stay here, hold the fort

in case Mel comes back.

( ODE TO JOY PLAYING INSIDE )

Beethoven.

Ode to joy!

Well, I'm not as

un-Freakin'- Cultured as I look.

Oh, my god.

( ODE TO JOY CONTINUING;

KYLE POUNDING ON DOOR )

KYLE:
Joy?

( POUNDING ON DOOR )

GLORIA:
Joy?

KYLE:
Joy!

( POUNDING ON DOOR )

Joy?

Wh-Where are you going?

( CELLPHONE RINGS )

Where are...?

Don't talk.

Just listen.

( ODE TO JOY CONTINUING )

Kyle, baby! No!

MEL:
Until you tell

mom the naked truth,

I am officially on strike.

Yeah. Uh... no can do.

Let me help you.

( AUDIBLY STRUGGLING )

Yeah... uh...

ohh!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

It's not a good time right now.

Oh, so you want her to find out

through her teenage daughter?

No! Thank you.

You have five minutes.

I don't need your help on that.

Four and a half.

Who was that?

Ohh... work.

( ODE TO JOY CONTINUING ) Joy?

Joy!

Joy.

Joy. Joy. Joy.

Uh... uh...

( ODE TO JOY CONTINUING )

( GRUNT OF FRUSTRATION )

( DIALING )

( TELEPHONE RINGING )

Come on, come on!

( TELEPHONE RINGS )

So she was dying...

and then she wasn't...

and now she might be?

Joy is going to be fine.

( SIGHS )

Um... um, can we see her?

I assume you're Kyle.

Yes.

I made notes.

She was very, um...

particular about some

of the details.

She said she took two tiny

sleeping pills so she could sleep.

We pumped her stomach

Because you told the whole world

she tried to kill herself.

Wait. You said that

she could be suicidal!

Can't quote me on that.

Anyway, she never wants to see

your annoying face again.

There was more about your face and some

of the other parts of your anatomy.

What room is she in?

She made herself quite clear.

Don't forget to

validate your parking.

That is the crappiest

delivery of good news

That I've ever heard.

It's her obituary.

I thought you were

supposed to be writing that.

What does it say?

There's a note.

"Kyle. I thought you

should know I never needed

"Your help writing my obituary.

I wanted someone

sweet and fun..."

JOY:
...to share

my last couple of weeks.

I knew if I asked you

to write it,

You'd have to hang around

and get to know me.

You were charming

and interesting,

And then I just couldn't

tell you the truth

Because I didn't

want it to end.

But it has to end,

Before you get hurt

because of me.

I have to move forward

alone now.

I'm sorry I pulled you in,

But I'll never be sorry

I met you.

Take care of yourself.

I hope you'll agree,

My obit's the classiest,

Sassiest you've ever read.

Get it out to the world for me.

"Knuckles. Joy."

( CHUCKLING ) Knuckles?

What's knuckles?

( CHUCKLING )

It's... not

what you're thinking.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna call them. It's too

early to involve the cops!

It is not! No it isn't! You have to wait, like...

twenty-Four, forty-Eight...

It just hasn't been

enough hours.

No, I don't care. It's my daughter.

Pats!

What?

We've been looking.

We called your phone a

thousand times, your school.

You think you can just

cut out whenever you please

And worry your parents

to their deathbed?

You get a mental health day.

Can't argue with that.

Okay.

You hungry?

No.

I can make you a grilled cheese

With the crusts

cut off... no?

( WHIMPERING ) No?

( CRYING )

How... am I supposed

to tell her?

Don't tell her.

Show her.

Where did you get these?

Suit up!

No!

No!

Mom!

Go away. I'm sorry. I

became a moron temporarily.

I got your note!

Joy...

I...

( CELLPHONE RINGING )

( TELEPHONE RINGING )

( SPEED DIALING )

( TELEPHONE RINGING )

What is it, Marshall?

Could you come to our

room for a sec?

Not another stupid tattoo. I really

don't give a damn what you do.

Uh...

( PAINED CHUCKLE )

Is this some kind of sick joke?

Oh, thank god. I thought

I struck you mute.

Please tell me

that you are just being

Super-Prepared for

this year's Halloween.

I am not having

an affair, pats.

I like trying on lady clothes.

Makes me happy.

I go to the mall after work,

And...

i-I try on lingerie.

I just didn't know

how to tell you.

I'm not...

having an affair,

unless it's with...

The J.Lo collection

at J.C. Penney.

I don't know what to say.

No, put your robe

back on, I'm begging you.

( NERVOUS CHUCKLE )

Can we have dinner now that

this ridiculous charade is over?

I'm starving.

( CELLPHONE RINGS )

( MIRROR SHATTERS )

( TELEPHONE RINGS )

( TELEPHONE RINGS )

( RING )

( MUFFLED, DISTORTED AUDIO )

GLORIA:
Kyle?

Barely touched your food, son.

( SIGHS )

He didn't make joy

go bye-Bye, Kyle, baby.

No.

He just sold all of my stuff

And transformed my

bedroom into a bathroom.

Well, you never came home.

Gloria needed a bigger

bathroom for all of her crap.

I do have a lot of crap!

PATSY:
More Brussels

sprouts, anyone?

I'm not stupid. The only

reason you're here now

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