Fishing Naked Page #4

AM I RIGHT?

OH, YEAH.

SQUID.

REALLY?

ALL RIGHT.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

DID YOU CATCH:

ANY FISH?

OH, SH*T.

DID YOU TRIP?

YES, GRANDMA.

I TRIPPED.

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU

SITTING IN THE DARK?

I'M WATCHING ORBS.

GREAT. MORE ORBS.

NO, JUST ONE.

YOU SAW ANOTHER ORB?

MM-HMM.

I LIKE THE BLUE ONES.

WHAT TIME DID YOU SEE IT?

JUST A FEW HOURS AGO.

IT JUST ZIPPED BY

LIKE IT WAS SCARED.

A SCARED ORB?

MM-HMM.

I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING

WITH THE LIGHT ON.

SO, DID YOU AND RODNEY

GET LAID TONIGHT?

GRANDMA.

NO.

OH.

MAYBE NEXT TIME.

YOU BOTH COULD USE IT.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU KEEP TAKING

YOUR MEDS, LOUISE.

I WILL.

HEY, GRANDMA.

I JUST NEED TO ASK...

... THE DOCTOR A COUPLE

OF QUESTIONS.

I'M FINE.

WHY DON'T YOU

FRESHEN UP...

... AND I'LL MEET YOU

IN THE LOBBY?

FINE, I GET IT.

DON'T LET HIM COMMIT ME,

OKAY, SHARON?

I WON'T, LOUISE.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER, DOC.

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE.

SHE'S GOING

TO OUT-LIVE US BOTH.

SO LONG AS SHE KEEPS

TAKING HER MEDS.

I'M NOT WORRIED

ABOUT HER PHYSICAL HEALTH.

SHE'S STARTING TO LIVE LIKE

SHE IS IN THE OLD LEGENDS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SHE SAYS SHE'S SEEING

ORBS AND...

... ...HAIRY MAN.

ARE YOU SURE:

SHE'S NOT SEEING THEM?

THERE HAVE BEEN:

A FEW SIGHTINGS RECENTLY.

OH, SHE THINKS THAT SHE'S

THAT SHE'S SEEING THEM.

SHE'S BEEN A LITTLE ECCENTRIC

SINCE I WAS A KID.

I'D ROLL WITH IT.

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING

WE CAN DO TO STOP IT?

I DON'T THINK SHE HAS

ANYTHING TO TREAT.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

IF ANYTHING CHANGES,

LET ME KNOW.

AND WE'LL EXPLORE

SOME OPTIONS.

OKAY.

THANKS.

OF COURSE.

I'M NOT CRAZY.

I NEVER SAID:

YOU WERE CRAZY, GRANDMA.

BUT YOU THINK I AM.

YOU ARE SEEING:

THINGS, GRANDMA.

UH-HUH.

HALLUCINATIONS:

AREN'T REAL.

I'M NOT HALLUCINATING.

YOU ARE SEEING ORBS

AND TALKING TO HAIRY MAN.

UH-HUH.

NO ONE ELSE IS SEEING ORBS.

OR TALKING TO HAIRY MAN.

HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK

TO ANYONE ELSE.

HE'S ON VACATION.

AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT...

... NO ONE TAKES THE TIME

TO LOOK AWAY...

... FROM THEIR TV LONG ENOUGH...

... TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON

AROUND THEM.

HAIRY MAN IS ON VACATION?

UH-HUH.

DO ME A FAVOR,

ASK IF I CAN TALK TO HIM.

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE HE'S ON VACATION,

AND YOU'RE NOT RELAXED.

ALL RIGHT, GRANDMA.

AMY?

JEN?

AMY?

JEN?

THEY'RE NOT HERE.

WELL, THIS SUCKS.

THEY'RE PROBABLY

JUST OUT BANGING BANKERS.

WAY TO BE THE OPTIMIST.

I'M A REALIST.

WHATEVER, LET'S JUST GO.

I DON'T KNOW,

IT'S GETTING LATE.

THEY'LL PROBABLY

BE BACK SOON.

OR THEY JUST LEFT.

GUESS I SHOULDN' HAVE TAKEN SO LONG...

... CATCHING ALL THESE FISH.

THAT'S WHA I TOLD YOU, MAN.

THAT'S LIKE TWO DAYS

WORTH OF TROUT, NOT DINNER.

OKAY, WHATEVER.

LET'S JUST GET.

THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

FINE.

THEY WERE DEFINITELY

HOPING TO FIND US BOTH NAKED.

SH*T, THEY'RE HERE.

HIDE.

SERIOUSLY?

THEY'RE, LIKE, STANDING

IN THE WATER?

OBVIOUSLY, LIKE, THAT'S

WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.

BRAS ARE NOT IN HERE.

OF COURSE I:

CAN BELIEVE IT,

THEY'RE A COUPLE

OF PUNK-ASS JERKS.

HELLO, LADIES.

YOU STARTLED ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I JUST CAUGH SOME NICE FISH...

... AND THOUGHT I'D BRING

THEM BY FOR DINNER.

NICE TIMING. WE JUST WEN TO TOWN FOR GROCERIES.

SO, SEE ANY MORE ORBS

LAST NIGHT?

DON'T TEASE ME.

MY GRANDMA SAW:

SOME LAST NIGHT.

SHE LIKES THE BLUE ONES.

THE ONE I SAW WAS BLUE.

REALLY?

YES, REALLY.

I DIDN'T SLEEP

A MINUTE LAST NIGHT.

AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME.

I MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY

SEEN SOMETHING?

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST KNOW:

MY GRANDMA SAW ONE.

I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.

LOOK, JEN,

WE WENT TO TOWN.

YOU'VE HAD YOUR PEDICURE

AND YOUR FACIAL.

WE'VE GOT GROCERIES,

EVERYTHING IS GOOD.

I'M TELLING YOU BOTH,

I SAW SOMETHING.

MAYBE YOU DID.

LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS...

MAYBE SOMEONE'S

MESSING WITH US.

AMY.

COME BACK HERE,

YOU LITTLE F***ER.

OH, MY GOD. DON'T CHASE

THAT THING INTO THE WOODS.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

SHE'LL BE BACK SOON.

SHE COULD BE DEAD

RIGHT NOW.

I'M PRETTY SURE

THE CREATURE...

... IS IN MORE DANGER

THAN SHE IS RIGHT NOW.

I'LL KILL YOU.

OKAY, OKAY, I GIVE, I GIVE.

RODNEY?

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

BIGFOOT SUIT.

OW, OW, OW.

DIRTY B*TCH. OW, OW.

THAT DIDN'T TAKE VERY LONG.

AMY?.

RODNEY HERE IS:

PRETTY OUT OF SHAPE...

... FOR A YOUNG GUY.

WHAT THE HELL:

IS GOING ON?

LOOKS LIKE OUR:

TWO NEW FRIENDS...

... WERE TRYING TO SCARE

THE HELL OUT OF US.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

IT WAS A BAD IDEA.

I'M SORRY.

BAD IDEA? THAT IS

WAY BEYOND A BAD IDEA.

OH, JEN, ACCORDING

TO RODNEY HERE,

WE SHOULD BE FLATTERED.

WHAT?

RODNEY WAS TAKING ONE

FOR THE TEAM AND HOPING...

... HE MIGHT SCARE US BOTH

INTO DAVID'S ARMS.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THAT IS THE DUMBEST IDEA

I'VE EVER HEARD.

YOU DON'T GET TO LAUGH.

I GUESS THAT'S SOR OF FLATTERING...

... IN A PREPUBESCEN SORT OF WAY.

THIS IS QUITE THE PLOT...

... YOU HATCHED OU TO GET A LITTLE LOVIN'.

WE JUST FIGURED SINCE JEN

SAW THAT ORB THE OTHER NIGHT.

WE'D GIVE IT A SHOT.

WE'VE ACTUALLY BEEN

USING THE SAME GAG.

FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

YOU MEAN THERE ARE

OTHER BEAUTIFUL GIRLS...

... OUT HERE IN THE WOODS?

WE WISH. YOU GUYS ARE

A PAIN IN THE ASS.

I THINK YOU LIKE

DOING THAT.

WE'RE SCARING FISHERMEN

OUT OF OUR FAVORITE WATERS.

AND ATTRACTING:

THE MEDIA TO...

'BIGFOOT SIGHTINGS'

ON CRAPPY WATERS.

YOU'RE KIDDING?

OKAY, SCARING GIRLS

INTO SEX, STUPID.

MANIPULATING TOURISTS,

F***IN' BRILLIANT.

IT'S WORKING, TOO.

WE WERE ON THE EVENING NEWS

A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO.

WE'RE REALLY CAREFUL

WHO WE CHOOSE.

MOSTLY BUSINESSMEN

FROM THE FRONT PLAINS...

... BECAUSE THEY DON' WANT TO LOOK CRAZY.

KIND OF LIKE PILOTS...

NOT WANTING TO REPORT UFOS.

- YEAH.

AND THE NEWS MEDIA ASSUMES

LIGHTNING WILL STRIKE...

... THE SAME PLACE TWICE.

EXACTLY.

YOU GUYS JUST MIGH BE ONTO SOMETHING.

BUT WE CAN DIAL THIS

UP A NOTCH...

... AND REALLY HAVE SOME FUN.

HOW?

I'M JUST, YOU KNOW,

WANDERING ALONE IN THE WOODS,

BY MYSELF, LATE AT NIGHT.

OH, MY GOD.

THERE IT IS AGAIN.

OH, WHERE IS IT?

WHERE'D IT GO?

OH, MY GOD. I CAN HEAR--...

... WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?

OH, GOD, IT'S GONNA KILL ME.

I DON'T WANNA DIE,

I HAVEN'T HAD SEX YET.

OH, GOD.

DID YOU SEE IT?

I HEAR SOMETHING.

JUST GOT TO BE QUIET.

JUST REALLY QUIET.

OH, GOD.

NO, NO.

OH, MY GOD, WHERE IS IT?.

I'M SO SCARED.

THAT IS AWESOME.

GREAT WORK, AMY.

THANKS.

DAVID?

IT'S A LITTLE CLOSE

TO HOME.

I JUST DON'T KNOW

IF WE WANT TO DRAW.

THAT MUCH ATTENTION

TO OURSELVES.

HEY, YOU STARTED

THIS LITTLE SCAM.

I KNOW, BUT YOUTUBE?

DON'T BE SUCH A PUSS.

UPLOAD IT.

YOU'RE STILL

ON PROBATION, JACKASS.

RODNEY?

IT WAS NOTHING.

I WAS JUST BEING...

... STUPID AND GOT CAUGHT.

FORGET IT.

DOING WHAT?

JOYRIDING.

OOF, YOU ARE A DANGEROUS,

DANGEROUS CRIMINAL.

IN ART'S PATROL CAR,

THROUGH THE POST OFFICE...

... AND INTO THE RIVER.

OH, MY GOD, REALLY?

YES.

THE OTHER THING:

HE ISN'T TELLING YOU IS.

THAT I WAS WITH HIM.

AND HE TOOK ALL THE HEAT.

EVEN THOUGH THAT MEAN HE DID A FEW YEARS IN JAIL.

YOU WERE ALREADY 18,

BRO, I WAS NOT, SO...

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