Fishing Naked Page #5

... PLUS, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED

TO KNOW THEY WOULD TRY.

ME AS AN ADULT?

YEAH.

BRO, WE'RE NOT GOING

TO GET CAUGHT.

LET'S DO THIS.

DAVID?

C'MON.

ALL RIGHT.

YES.

AND AWAY IT GOES.

WE'RE GONNA BE

SO F***IN' FAMOUS.

OKAY, DID YOU SEE THAT?

OH, GOD...

...THAT IS WHAT I SAW.

IT SCARED:

THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF ME,

BUT OBVIOUSLY:

IT'S SOME KIND OF HOAX.

HOLY SH*T.

OH, MY GOD.

DAVID, WAKE UP.

DAVID, WAKE UP.

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

I'VE BEEN WATCHING

THE HITS ALL NIGHT.

WHAT?

THE YOUTUBE HITS.

WE'RE OVER 500,000

AND RISING FAST.

OH, SH*T.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'OH, SH*T'?

THIS IS AWESOME.

GO, GET YOUR CLOTHES ON.

WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.

JUST GIVE ME ONE SECOND.

OKAY. OH, NICE.

NEW SUIT LOOKS GOOD,

RODNEY.

WHY, THANK YOU.

OKAY, EVERYONE.

SYNCHRONIZE YOUR ALARMS...

... FOR EXACTLY FIVE

MINUTES FROM NOW.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,

RODNEY,

JUST TAKE YOUR CUES

FROM DAVID AND JEN.

I WANT YOU TO WORK

YOUR WAY UPSTREAM...

... TO THAT BEND

AND STAY OUT OF SIGHT.

I'M GOING TO MAKE MY WAY

DOWN TO THE NEWS CREW.

DAVID, CROSS THE RIVER

ABOVE THAT BEND...

... AND THEN WORK

YOUR WAY HALF WAY...

... BETWEEN RODNEY

AND THE NEWS CREW DOWNSTREAM.

STAY HIDDEN.

I'M PRETTY SURE THIS WAS...

... MY SCAM TO START WITH.

WELL, WE'RE DIALING I UP A NOTCH.

SO YOU'VE SAID.

C'MON, LET'S GO.

THIS IS GONNA BE

GONNA BE GREAT.

OKAY, DUDE.

MEDIUM SHOT.

THEN YOU PAN OVER

TO THE RIVER. READY?

THREE, TWO, ONE.

HORROR IN THE HIGH COUNTRY.

WHERE ONE NAME:

STRIKES FEAR.

IN THE HEARTS OF

ALL THE RESIDENTS HERE.

ON THE SOUTH FORK RIVER.

SWEETHEART.

WHERE ARE YOU?

I'M SO LONELY, SWEETY.

CUT, CUT, CUT.

WHERE ARE YOU?.

EXCUSE ME, MISS, MISS?

SWEETY? HI, HONEY, LISTEN.

HI.

WE'RE WORKING ON

AN IMPORTANT STORY.

JUST GIVE ME:

A FEW MINUTES, OKAY?

OH...

OKAY.

OKAY.

KEEP GOING. HERE WE GO.

THREE, TWO, ONE.

WHERE JUST THE NAME,

BIGFOOT, CAN STRIKE...

... SWEETY.

CUT.

HONEYBUN.

SWEETHEART, LOVER,

WHERE ARE YOU?

MISS, MISS, LISTEN, WE'RE DOING

A BIGFOOT STORY, OKAY?

OH.

IT'S THE STORY OF THE DECADE.

AND IT'S GOING TO GET ME

OUT OF THIS TOWN, SO...

... OKAY, BUT I NEED

TO TALK TO HIM, TOO.

WELL, WE ALL DO, HONEY.

IT'S, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE DO.

BUT--SO PLEASE JUST...

NO, NO, YOU SEE,

I'M CARRYIN' HIS BABY,

AND I WANNA SURPRISE HIM

WITH THE GOOD NEWS.

REALLY?

ROLL IT.

HONEY, LISTEN.

AREN'T YOU PRECIOUS.

C'MON OVER HERE.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS.

AND SO WHAT IS YOUR NAME,

PRINCESS?

OH, MOON.

MOON. LIKE, LIKE...

LIKE THE MOON?

YEAH, LIKE THE MOON.

OKAY, HONEY.

SO, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED?

UM, WELL, I DON'T USUALLY

KISS AND TELL.

OKAY. BUT...

YOU KNOW, LET ALONE, YOU KNOW.

I KNOW.

WE TALK ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT.

HERE'S WHAT WE NEED TO DO.

WE'RE GOING TO PUT YOU ON TV...

...SO OUR NICE TV AUDIENCE

CAN HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.

OKAY?

OH, OKAY.

YOU WANT TO DO THAT?

OH, I WILL.

I JUST DIDN'T WANNA RUIN

THE SURPRISE BUT...

... NO, I KNOW,

BUT DOES HE HAVE A TV?

I DON'T THINK SO.

NO, I GUESS NOT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

HE DOESN'T HAVE TV. OKAY.

WELL, LET'S--LET'S--

YOU WANNA GO ON TV?

OKAY, JUST ACT NATURAL.

SURE. ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

ARE WE ROLLING?

WE ROLLING?

HERE WE GO,

ACT NATURAL.

THREE, TWO, ONE,

42 ACTION NEWS

HAS EXCLUSIVELY LEARNED...

... THERE IS SO MUCH MORE

TO THIS BIGFOOT STORY.

YEAH, SO I WAS USING

THIS SPECIAL FLY THIS WEEKEND.

THANKS, BUDDY.

IT'S CALLED

THE STIMULATOR.

POOR THING:

WHO JUST TOLD ME MOMENTS AGO,

YOU ARE WITH A CHILD.

YES. YES.

YOU ARE CARRYING...

...IT'S A SPIRITUAL

LOVE CHILD FROM GAIA.

GOD DAMN IT.

WELL, SEE, I WAS NAKED,

COMMUNING WITH GAIA,

YOU KNOW, MOTHER EARTH...

YEAH, MITCH,

GET YOUR TV ON.

YES, CHANNEL 42.

YES, IT'S THE SAME GIRL

FROM THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO.

YEAH, COUPLE A TIMES.

AND--BUT, YOU KNOW,

HE WAS DRAWN TO ME.

AND I WAS AFRAID

AND RESISTED, BUT...

... AFTER A WHILE...

...IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

WHAT WAS THAT?.

- OH, SWEETY...

...IT'S ME, YOUR LOVER.

I HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS.

DUDE, ARE YOU--

ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

OH, HIS FRIENDS

MUST BE HERE, TOO.

HE HAS FRIENDS?

DON'T BE SHY.

ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

- COME ON OUT, SWEETY.

I'VE GOT WONDERFUL NEWS.

OH, MY GOD, I THOUGH SHE WAS KIDDING.

OH, THERE HE IS.

OH MY--WHAT IS THAT?.

OH, THERE'S MY CLUMSY LOVER.

OH, MY--ARE YOU ROLLING?

ROLL ON THIS. ROLL.

GOD DAMN IT.

HE'S AVOIDING ME.

ROLL, C'MON.

ROLL, ROLL.

COME ON.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW.

YOU GET BACK HERE

RIGHT NOW, MISTER.

OH, OH, OW.

LOCAL FINANCIAL MOGUL,

BILL WILLIAMS, IS REPORTEDLY.

AMONG THOSE TO HAVE

ENCOUNTERED...

... THE CREATURE RECENTLY.

EFFORTS TO CONTACT MR. WILLIAMS

HAVE GONE UNANSWERED.

WHAT THE HELL:

ARE YOU PEOPLE LOOKING AT.

HEY, DAVID, WHAT'S UP?

GOT SOME FLIES.

AW, MAN, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

ALL THESE BIGFOOT SIGHTINGS?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN

SWARMING IN HERE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I THOUGHT IT WOULD

BE KEEPING PEOPLE AWAY.

BUT THEY ARE SWARMING IN

LIKE BLACK FLIES.

I'M LOW ON EVERYTHING.

SPEAKING OF THE DEVIL.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU

GENTLEMEN TODAY?

WE NEED TO GET EQUIPPED

FOR FISHING.

COOL, COOL,

IS THAT CLOTHES?

RODS?

EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING IT IS. LET ME

FINISH UP WITH DAVID HERE.

AND I'LL GET RIGH TO YOU GUYS.

WE SAW YOU ON THE EVENING

NEWS, MR. OTTERTALE.

HOW'D YOU--

HOW 'BOUT STORE CREDIT, DAVID?

I KIND OF NEED THE CASH.

I'LL BEAT YOU UP.

FOR GRANDMA.

MAN, THAT'S LOW.

ALL RIGHT, FOR GRANDMA.

WE HOPE TO SEE:

BIGFOOT OURSELVES.

MM-HMM.

YUP, EVERYBODY WANTS

TO SEE BIGFOOT.

I'LL GET YOU GUYS ALL SET UP.

AND YOU CAN JUS GO FIND HIM YOURSELF.

THANKS, DAVID.

KEEP 'EM COMIN'.

SO, GENTLEMEN.

FLY-FISHING.

IS AN ART FORM:

IN ITS TRUEST SENSE.

BUT AS WITH ANY ART FORM...

... WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND,

MR. OTTERTALE?

RC'S YOUR MAN.

SEE YOU AROUND, DAVID.

SEE YOU AROUND.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE

WHAT'S GOING ON.

WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S MY BLOG.

WHAT BLOG?

THE 'I AM HAVING

BIGFOOT'S BABY' BLOG.

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE...

... THE CRAZIES COMING OU OF THE WOODWORK.

NO MORE HAIRY MAN?

'BIGFOOT'S BABY BLOG'

JUST SOUNDED BETTER THAN...

'HAIRY MAN BABY.'

AND WE HAVE OVER

A MILLION HITS ON YOUTUBE.

WE'RE FAMOUS.

OH, I LOVE THIS ONE.

'I HAVE BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS

SEVERAL TIMES MYSELF...

...'AND HAVE TWO HALF ALIEN/HUMAN

HYBRID CHILDREN AS A RESULT.

'WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAR A MOMMY AND ME GROUP.

FOR ALIEN AND CRYPTO CHILDREN?'

WOW.

AMY IS HAVING MY LOVE CHILD.

WELL, SOMEBODY'S GOT TO.

DAVID BLEW I WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE.

OH, HERE'S A GOOD ONE.

'I THINK I'M BI,

'BUT I'M NOT READY TO

TRY MENAGE-A-TROIS,

'SPELLED T-W-A,

'WITH A HOMOSAPIEN MALE YET.

DO YOU THINK BIGFOO WOULD BE INTERESTED?'.

I GIVE SECOND CHANCES.

I SAW THIS ON THE INTERNET.

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

COPYING BAD IDEAS

OFF THE INTERNET?

THE INTERNET IS A GREA SOURCE FOR INSPIRATION.

SOMEONE'S EVENTUALLY

GOING TO REALIZE...

... HAIRY MAN DOESN' WEAR WADING BOOTS.

WHATEVER, YOU GUYS

GO MAKE YOUR FOOTPRINTS.

I'M GONNA GO CATCH

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