Fishing Naked Page #6

GRANDMA SOME FISH.

I THOUGHT YOU BROUGH HER A BUNCH YESTERDAY?

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT SHE IS DOING WITH THEM,

BUT SHE IS GOING THROUGH THEM

AS QUICK AS I CAN CATCH THEM.

CAN I COME?

WHERE?

FISHING.

OH, GIRL,

YOU HATE FISHING.

LET'S GO, HAIRY MAN.

BIGGER STEPS. THEY CAN' LOOK LIKE A HUMAN STRIDE.

LET ME DO IT, WOMAN.

- THEN DO IT RIGHT.

C'MON, LET'S GO.

BIGGER. BIGGER.

YEAH, THAT'S IT. YEAH.

LET'S GO CATCH SOME FISH.

HEY, KID.

HEY. LOOK.

WHOA.

SO MUCH FOR FISHING.

OKAY, THAT'S COLD.

WOW, THEY SAY ROCKY

AND MOUNTAIN,

THEY REALLY MEAN COLD,

DON'T THEY?

WOOO. OH, SHRINKAGE.

WHOO.

WHOA. HA HA.

I SAW THAT PICTURE OF YOURS

ON THE NEWS. NICE WORK.

THANKS, BUT A PROFESSIONAL

WOULD KNOW IT WASN'T VERY GOOD.

I KIND OF SCREWED UP.

NAH, YOU, YOU GOT THE SHOT.

I'M JEN.

HEY, I'M CHARLIE.

ARE YOU PAR OF DAVID'S TRIBE?

NO, I'M FROM CALIFORNIA.

YOU'RE A PHOTOGRAPHER?

WE COULD BE NEIGHBORS.

I'M FROM ORANGE COUNTY. O.C.

O.C..

ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN

AN ACCOUNTANT FOR 20 YEARS.

BUT AS SOON AS I TOOK

THAT FIRST PICTURE.

I KNEW MY TRUE CALLING.

SO NOW I'M A WILDLIFE

PHOTOGRAPHER.

GOOD THING. YOU'RE JUST--

YOU'RE SO SNEAKY.

THANKS.

I FIGURED THE HARDES ANIMAL TO GET.

IS HAIRY MAN,

BIGFOOT.

WHATEVER,

SO HERE I AM.

HERE YOU ARE.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN

HIM TODAY, HAVE YOU?

NOT TODAY.

BUT THERE ARE SOME TRACKS

LEADING THAT WAY.

OH, HELL. THANKS.

GO GET 'EM, CHARLIE.

WHOO. THIS IS...

...HEY.

HEY. HOW ARE THE TRACKS?

THIS GUY:

WITH LIKE FIVE CAMERAS...

...ACTUALLY STARTED FOLLOWING US.

WE LED HIM IN CIRCLES

FOR OVER AN HOUR.

WE FINALLY HAD TO CROSS

THE RIVER A FEW TIMES...

... AND THEN DOUBLE BACK

JUST TO GET AWAY FROM HIM.

CHARLIE.

WHAT?

HE'S THE GUY WHO TOOK

THAT FIRST PHOTO THAT.

ENDED UP EVERYWHERE.

THAT'S TOO FUNNY.

HEY.

HOW WAS THE FISHIN'?

WE CAUGHT A LOT OF FISH.

REALLY?

WHEW.

AND THE GAME:

JUST GOT INTERESTING.

THAT WAS THEM.

OBVIOUSLY.

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I'M GOING TO GO CHECK

ON GRANDMA.

GRANDMA'S FINE.

IT'S GOING TO BE

A FULL MOON TONIGHT.

AND I'M FEELING

KIND OF ROMANTIC.

THAT'S A REALLY

GREAT OFFER BUT...

... HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S UP?

HEY.

WE WENT FISHING:

THIS AFTERNOON. YOU?

OH. WE MADE ARRANGEMENTS...

... TO DIAL IT UP ANOTHER NOTCH.

YEAH, BABY.

WE ARE GOING TO FAKE...

... A UFO LANDING.

WHAT?.

RODNEY AND I BOUGHT A BUNCH OF

WEATHER BALLOONS, SOME HELIUM,

A COUPLE OF REMOTE

CONTROL UNITS,

AND SOME COLOR:

CHANGING L.E.D. LIGHTS.

WE'RE GOING TO FLOAT THEM...

... IN THAT CLEARING

OUTSIDE OF TOWN...

... AND SCARE THE CRAP

OUT OF EVERYONE.

IT'LL BE THE PERFECT FINALE

TO OUR YOUTUBE SERIES.

AMY, HOW DID YOU PAY

FOR ALL THIS UFO STUFF?

I USED YOUR CREDIT CARD.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

AND HOW MUCH:

DID EVERYTHING COST?

SLIGHTLY UNDER 10 K.

JEN'S LOADED, BRA.

GOD DAMN IT. WE'VE

TALKED ABOUT THIS.

I HAVE NO PROBLEM

PAYING FOR OUR LIVING SUPPLIES.

BUT $10,000 ON TOYS?

WHAT THE FRIK.

SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE, RIGHT?

BESIDES YOU'RE JUS AS INTO THIS AS I AM.

YOU PAID FOR:

THE NEW HAIRY MAN SUIT.

NO, I'M NOT.

IT HAS BEEN FUN.

BUT A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS.

IS A HELL OF A LOT DIFFEREN THAN 10,000 F***ING DOLLARS.

SLIGHTLY LESS THAN

10,000 F***ING DOLLARS.

AND SINCE WHEN:

DID YOU GIVE A SH*T?

SINCE I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND

STARTED DISCOVERING MY ROOTS,

THAT'S SINCE WHEN.

I AM NOT...

... SHUT UP, DAVID.

YOU TELL HIM, BABY.

F*** YOU, RODNEY.

WELL, TAKE IT EASY, BUDDY.

OBVIOUSLY I'M GOING

TO SIDE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.

AND WHO DO YOU THINK

IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?.

YOU.

OH, NO, DUDE.

I AM SO NO YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

OKAY, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE...

... SO THAT I CAN

BE ALONE WITH DAVID...

... SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS.

YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?

YES.

FINE.

NO, NO DON'T LEAVE.

WHY NOT, BRO? YOUR GIRLY FRIEND

IS BEING A B*TCH TO MINE.

SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.

I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

WELL, I HAVEN'T BEEN

STANDING OUT...

... IN THAT RIVER WITH YOU

BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE COLD...

... AND WET AND COVERED

WITH FISH.

AND I SURE AS HELL HAVEN' BEEN DRIVING YOU AROUND.

ALL DAY BECAUSE I WANTED TO.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

DO YOU GUYS SMELL FISH?

I HAVE BEEN SMELLING FISH

FOR A WEEK NOW.

NOT LIKE THAT.

I MEAN LIKE STALE FISH.

AH,

JESUS, YOU'RE A BRANCH.

YOU'RE A BRANCH.

OW. PRICKLY.

GRANDMA,

THIS IS AMY AND JEN.

HELLO.

HELLO.

HELLO.

HELLO, GRANDMA OTTERTALE.

HELLO, RODNEY.

DID YOU BRING ANY FISH?

HAIRY MAN LIKES FISH.

YES, WE DISCOVERED THAT.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COOKIES?

OH, NO, THANK YOU.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY ANYWAY.

BUT WHITE PEOPLE LIKE COOKIES.

THANKS, GRANDMA.

WE'RE HERE TO TALK

ABOUT THE ORBS.

AND HAIRY MAN.

ARE THEY ALIENS?

ARE THE ORBS:

AND HAIRY MAN TOGETHER?

OR DO THEY JUST COINCIDE

WITH EACH OTHER?

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

CALIFORNIA.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

GRANDMA,

WE SAW HAIRY MAN.

AND IT SCARED:

THE CRAP OUT OF US.

WHY?

WELL, A THREE-FINGERED CREATURE

JUST CAME AND TOOK OUR FISH.

HE LIKES FISH.

YES, WE GATHERED THAT.

WE JUST WAN TO KNOW WHAT HE IS.

AND WHERE HE CAME FROM.

WHY?

GRANDMA OTTERTALE...

... PLEASE, CALL ME LOUISE.

WHY THE F*** DO THEY

ALWAYS CALL ME GRANDMA?

I'M ONLY 55.

SORRY, GRANDMA.

OKAY, LOUISE, IT'S JUST--...

... IT'S IMPORTAN BECAUSE IT CALLS.

SO MANY THINGS INTO PLAY.

LIKE, WHERE ARE WE FROM,

WHY ARE WE HERE?

KNOWING SOME OF THOSE ANSWERS

WOULD HELP US UNDERSTAND...

... OUR PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE.

AMY'S GOT HER DEGREE

IN PHILOSOPHY.

OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.

SEE THOSE GEESE?

DO YOU EVER WONDER

WHY THERE'S MORE...

... ON THE RIGHT SIDE

THAN THE LEFT SIDE?

IT'S BECAUSE MORE GEESE

DECIDED TO FLY ON THAT SIDE...

... THAN THE OTHER SIDE.

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T FOLLOW YOU.

YOU'RE LOOKING TOO HARD.

OKAY. THERE MUST BE A REASON

WHY ALL THIS IS HAPPENING.

HE'S JUST FISHING.

WHAT?

IT'S GOOD FISHING HERE.

OH, MY GOD.

HE'S A TOURIST?

IT'S LIKE ALL

THE WEEKEND WARRIORS...

... IN DAVID AND RODNEY'S

FISHING HOLES.

HE'S HERE TO FISH.

AND HE WANTS...

... TO AVOID THE LOCALS

AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

THEY'VE BEEN COMING

A LONG TIME.

WELL, HOW LONG?

A LONG TIME.

I'M GONNA TAKE SOME FISH TO HIM

TONIGHT IF YOU WANNA ASK HIM.

BUT HE DOESN'T TALK.

WHY ARE YOU TAKING

AN ALIEN FISHERMAN FISH?

I DON'T THINK THIS ONE'S

VERY GOOD AT IT.

OH, LOUISE,

THAT'S OUR HOME.

UH-HUH,

YOU'RE NEIGHBORS.

THAT'S THE DEN

RIGHT THERE.

WE LIVE NEX TO HAIRY MAN?

I GUESS SO.

IS HE IN THERE?

HE'S SHY.

I'LL GO UP FIRS SO HE KNOWS IT'S OKAY.

I HOPE YOU CAUGH FISH TODAY.

BUT I BROUGHT SOME MORE

JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T.

I BROUGHT SOME FRIENDS

WITH ME, TOO.

THIS IS MY GRANDSON, DAVID.

HELLO.

AND HIS FRIEND, RODNEY.

WHAT'S UP, HAIRY MAN?

AND THEIR GIRLFRIENDS,

JEN AND AMY.

OH, WE'RE NO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS.

WE THOUGHT WE'D COME BY.

AND WELCOME YOU:

TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

JEN AND I LIVE:

NEXT DOOR, I GUESS.

YOU WERE AT OUR HOME EARLIER.

MAY I?

SURE.

I CAN'T SEE HIM.

HE'S SHY.

HAIRY MAN'S A GIRL.

HAIRY GIRL?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

SHE COULD BE.

SHE'S A LOT BIGGER THAN

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