Fishing Naked Page #7

MOST OF THEM.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT POPPED INTO MY HEAD.

MUST BE SOME SOR OF ALIEN PHEROMONE.

THERE'S A LOT OF PHEROMONE

AROUND HERE TONIGHT.

I DON'T LIKE THIS.

WHAT'S UP?.

GET DOWN.

OW.

IT'S A BLACKHAWK.

IF HE'S OUT HERE THIS LATE,

HE'S LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.

THEY'VE GOT NIGHT VISION,

FORWARD-LOOKING INFRARED,

AND A WHOLE BUNCH

OF OTHER STUFF YOU DON'T.

EVEN WANT TO KNOW ABOUT.

I JUST HOPE THEY DIDN'T SEE

THE LIGHT COMING OUT OF THE DEN.

HOW THE HELL:

DO YOU KNOW ALL THAT?

I GREW UP IN GERMANY...

... AT THE ARMY'S HELICOPTER

COMMAND HQ.

YEAH, A LOT OF HIPPIE CHICKS

ON MILITARY BASES, RIGHT?

I'M NOT BIG ON AUTHORITY.

WHY ARE WE HIDING?

WHO'S BEEN MAKING ALL

THE HEADLINES?

US.

WE JUST LED THE MILITARY

TO HAIRY GIRL BY ACCIDENT.

SHE'S ALONE.

ALL SHE COULD DO IS HIDE...

... IF THEY COME LOOKING FOR HER.

SHE WAS DROPPED OFF.

SHE HAS TO WAI FOR HER FRIENDS.

I'M AFRAID THEY WON'T COME

IF THEY'RE BEING CHASED.

BY THE ARMY.

AND THE SEARCH CONTINUES

FOR A CITY MAN,

CHARLIE MURPHY.

- YEAH.

FRIENDS SAY AFTER

PURCHASING A NEW CAMERA...

UH-HUH.

- ...HE HAD BECOME OBSESSED...

...WITH PHOTOGRAPHING THE ELUSIVE...

... BIGFOOT OF SOUTH FORK.

WHEN I WAS TAKING COURSES...

... AT THE ARAPAHONSUI COMMUNITY COLLEGE,

MY PROFESSOR TOLD ME THERE

THAT THE THING YOU NEED TO DO...

... IS FIND YOUR COMPOSITION.

FIX YOUR LENS...

...AND THEN EVERYTHING ELSE

HAPPENS IN PHOTOSHOPING.

AFTERWARDS.

AND WHY HAVEN' YOU ARRESTED THEM?

...TO FLY SEARCH

AND RESCUE OPERATIONS.

DAY AND NIGHT...

... NO, NO. LISTEN.

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

BECAUSE SOME OF THESE

STUPID SONS A B*TCHES.

ARE GETTING LOST IN THE WOODS

TRYING TO FIND THIS HOAX,

THAT'S WHY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

FRIENDS:

ARE VERY CONCERNED.

HE HAS VERY LITTLE EXPERIENCE

IN THE WILDERNESS,

BARELY KNEW HOW:

TO OPERATE HIS NEW CAMERA,

AND THEY HOPE:

HE HAD NOT BEEN DRINKING.

FINE, THEN WE'LL SET UP A STING...

... AND CATCH THEM IN THE ACT,

WHATEVER YOU FBI GUYS DO.

OF COURSE I'LL PARTICIPATE.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

GO AWAY, RODNEY.

DON'T BE SUCH A B*TCH.

COME ON IN, RODNEY.

MIND IF WE TALK?

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT YOU BEING A TEASE.

PISS OFF, RODNEY.

HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT.

YOU ARE A TEASE.

I'M A TEASE?

YEAH, YOU ARE.

I SEE. WELL.

I GUESS THAT'S BETTER.

THAN BEING DELUSIONAL.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

BOTH OF YOU.

YOU FOR THINKING THA YOU STOOD A CHANCE WITH ME,

AND YOU FOR THINKING THA YOU STOOD A CHANCE WITH DAVID.

OH, COME ON, YOU KNOW DAMN

WELL YOU'D BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME.

YOU'RE PERFEC FOR EACH OTHER.

OH, AMY.

LOUISE.

I'M SORRY,

I WAS LOOKING FOR DAVID.

UM, HE'S IN HIS ROOM.

DO YOU MIND IF I COME IN?

NO, NO, NO, COME ON IN.

COOKIES?

OH, NO, THANKS.

I'M SORRY, WHERE IS HE?

UPSTAIRS.

THANKS.

DAVID?

AMY. WHAT'S UP?

RODNEY CAME BY:

TO CALL ME A TEASE...

... AND THEN JEN JOINED IN

AND CALLED ME A TEASE.

SO I LEFT...

... AND NOW I'M PISSED OFF

BECAUSE I'M NOT A TEASE,

AND I SHOULD HAVE

MADE THEM BOTH APOLOGIZE.

WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

WELL, YOU-YOU ARE A TEASE.

YOU JERK.

LOOK, I CAME HERE--...

... I KNOW. I CAN'T HELP IT.

IT'S COOL.

I KIND OF LIKE IT.

REALLY?

YEAH, IT'S...KIND OF HOT.

YES.

WHAT A CIVILIAN.

WHAT IS HE DOING?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THE STUPID SON OF A B*TCH

IS HERE.

HE'S POINTING AT SOMETHING.

DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?

NOTHING THAT I CAN SEE.

STINKS DOWN HERE.

WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?

HE'S SNEAKING UP ON SOMETHING.

IS THE CAMERA ROLLING?

OF COURSE.

GOTCHA.

JESUS CHRIST.

WHAT?.

WHAT THE HELL IS IT?.

SOME SORT OF--

SOME SORT OF CREATURE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN

ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE.

IT JUST VANISHED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN VANISHED?.

I MEAN, I HAD IT IN FRAME,

THERE WAS THIS WEIRD FLASH

AND IT VANISHED.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CLOAK.

LET ME SEE THAT.

SEE IT?

YOU PRESSED OFF:

INSTEAD OF ON.

GOD DAMN IT.

WE'VE GOT 40 MINUTES.

OF BILL F***ING FISHING.

AND NO EVIDENCE.

YOU A**HOLE.

STREAMS ALL LEAD

TO CIVILIZATION.

WHY CAN'T I FIND

CIVILIZATION?

I GOT YOU. I GOT YOU.

I GOT YOU.

COME ON.

COME ON. I GOT IT.

I GOT IT.

I GOT IT.

WHOA, SOMETHING'S GOING ON.

I'M GOING TO CHECK IT OUT.

OH, PLEASE DON'T, FUZZY BEAR.

RELAX.

WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DOING

FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS?

HAVING CRAZY SEX,

SUGAR PLUM.

SO WE HAVE AN ALIBI.

HEY, ART. YOU KNOW.

I WOULD STILL...

... LOVE TO DRIVE

THAT NEW CAR OF YOURS.

MR. JOBS, SO NICE

OF YOU TO SHOW UP.

YOU.

BILL'S HAD ANOTHER

BIGFOOT SIGHTING.

I WAS SURE YOU AND YOUR LITTLE

BUDDY WERE F***ING WITH ME.

IN THE NEWS, EVERY TIME

THERE WAS A SIGHTING,

BUT HAIRY MAN,

IS F***ING REAL.

THAT'S WHA I TOLD YOU, MAN.

HE JUST SCARED:

THE SH*T OUT OF ME,

AND THERE'S NO F***ING WAY...

... THAT WAS A PUNK-ASS KID

IN A SUIT.

WHO ARE THOSE:

TWO WANKERS.

OVER THERE?

CLAIM TO BE FBI.

HUH, WELL, COOL.

GOOD LUCK, BILL.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

PEOPLE. HEY.

I GOT A PICTURE OF

HAIRY MAN.

HEY, HEY, I GOT A

PICTURE OF MY HAIRY MAN.

I'M A REAL GODDAMN

WILDLIFE PHOTOGRAPHER.

LET ME SEE IT.

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.

OH, MY GOD, FBI?

SH*T.

THINK WE'RE IN TROUBLE?

OH, I KNOW WE'RE IN TROUBLE.

I JUST DON'T KNOW

HOW MUCH.

WE GOT TO FIND DAVID.

OH, HOLD ON, IT MUST HAVE

JUST RUN OUT OF BATTERIES.

OH, WAIT. NO, SH*T.

OH, SH*T,

THAT WAS MY LAST ONE.

GOD DAMN IT.

WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE PANTS?

THOSE ARE AWESOME.

I COULD REALLY DO SOME HIDING

IN THE WILD WITH THOSE.

WHAT SIZE ARE YOU?

HI, LOUISE.

HI.

HEY, GRANDMA,

DAVID AROUND?

HIM AND AMY ARE UPSTAIRS

MAKING NOISE.

OH, REALLY?

OUT OF BED, A**HOLE.

HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S UP?

ARE YOU UP THERE

BANGING MY GIRLFRIEND?

COME ON OUT, AMY.

WE HOOKED UP, TOO.

NICE.

BUT SERIOUSLY, GET DRESSED,

WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

WHAT'S UP?

YOU GUYS CUT IT WAY

TOO CLOSE THIS TIME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE JUST LEFT THE LANDING.

AND THE SAME GUY THA WE SCARED A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.

WAS LYING ON HIS BACK.

RAMBLING ABOU HAIRY MAN TO ART.

RING A BELL?

WHAT?

YEAH, THE TWO FBI GUYS...

... AND CHARLIE WERE THERE

AS WELL.

I HAVE NO IDEA:

WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU GUYS OBVIOUSLY

PULLED A SCAM WITHOUT US.

AND YOU GOT WAY:

TOO CLOSE THIS TIME.

WE'VE BEEN INSIDE

FOR AT LEAST...

... TWO HOURS.

SH*T, YOU DON'T THINK...

... I THINK THEY SAW

OUR LITTLE FRIEND FOR REAL.

WE GOT TO GO:

CHECK ON HER.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

WE'RE GOING TO HER DEN

TO MAKE SURE SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

SHE'S LEAVING TONIGHT.

IT'S THE FULL MOON.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

THEY ALWAYS LEAVE

ON THE FULL MOON.

IS SHE ALL RIGHT?

SHE'S SCARED,

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHERE THE F***

ARE YOU GOING?.

TO HER DEN, GRANDMA.

SHE'S NOT THERE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

SHE'S RIGHT HERE.

SH*T, WOULD I BE SITTING

HERE FOR NOTHING?

I'M JUST SITTING HERE

TRYING TO CHILL...

... WITH HER, YOU KNOW?

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE FISH?

SHE'S HUNGRY.

YEP, I THINK SHE'S

A STRESS EATER.

OH, COMPANY.

NICE CAR, ART.

NOT NOW, RODNEY.

NEED ANY HELP?

NO, THANKS.

JUST A RACCOON.

SOUNDS LIKE A BIG ONE.

IF YOU ALL ARE THINKING ABOU GETTING INTO ANY MORE TROUBLE,

I WOULDN'T.

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