Fishing Naked Page #8

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HEY, ART?

OH, NOTHING REALLY.

IT'S JUST THAT I THOUGH YOU SHOULD KNOW...

...THERE'S A LOT OF FEDS AROUND...

... ASKING A LOT OF QUESTIONS

ABOUT YOU FOUR.

HEY, ART.

HUH, THAT'S WEIRD.

I WONDER WHY?

THE ARMY AND THOSE TWO FBI GUYS

ARE ASKING FOR YOU.

YEAH, I WONDER WHY.

LOOKS LIKE:

THE CAVALRY'S HERE.

THEY'RE STAGING SOMETHING

AT THE HIGH SCHOOL.

I GOT TO GO OVER AND MAKE SURE

EVERYBODY BEHAVES.

HEY, ART,

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

BE GOOD.

DRIVE SAFE.

SH*T, WHAT THE HELL

ARE WE GONNA DO?

WE'VE GOT HAIRY GIRL

UNDER THE PORCH.

AND COPS EVERYWHERE.

SHE HAS TO LEAVE TONIGHT.

WHERE DOES SHE NEED TO BE?

AT HER CAMPSITE.

WHAT? SO, WE HAVE THE COPS.

THE FEDS.

AND APPARENTLY THE ARMY.

BETWEEN US:

AND WHERE SHE NEEDS TO GO.

GREAT.

WE NEED A DIVERSION.

WHAT WE NEED IS NOT TO DRAW...

... ANY MORE ATTENTION

TO OURSELVES.

NO, IF WE GIVE THEM

WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR,

THEY WON'T STUMBLE ON

HER BY MISTAKE.

WE'LL PUT ON

THE FAKE UFO LANDING...

... LIKE RODNEY

AND I PLANNED.

SO, YOU WANNA LURE THEM

TO A HOAX ON TRIBAL LAND?

WE'LL HAVE TO GIVE

THEM BIGFOOT AS WELL, RODNEY.

THIS ISN'T A BUNCH

OF F***ING TOURISTS ANYMORE.

I REALLY DON'T WAN TO GO BACK TO JAIL.

OR GET SHOT.

YEAH.

OKAY, FINE.

I WILL WEAR THE SUIT.

DAMN, YOU GUYS

ARE SUCH WUSSES.

I WEAR THE SUI AROUND HERE.

I WILL DO IT.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

IT'S A BAD IDEA.

LURING THE FEDS:

AND THE ARMY CAVALRY...

... TO TRIBAL GROUND

IS NOT AN OPTION.

LAST TIME IT HAPPENED

AROUND HERE, IT ENDED BADLY.

RODNEY, GET DRESSED

AND RUN AROUND TOWN.

THE REST OF US WILL SEND UP

THE LIGHTS AND BALLOONS...

... AS SOON AS YOU CAN

HIDE AND TEXT US.

THEY'LL SEE OUR UFO.

AND THEY'LL ALL COME UP.

TO THE CLEARING.

I'M TELLING YOU NO.

RELAX, CHIEF.

I'M AN ARMY BRAT, SO THE WORS THEY'LL DO IS CALL MY FATHER...

... AND THE JOINT CHIEFS

OR SOMETHING.

EVERYBODY ELSE CAN HIDE.

WHAT?

YOU'RE F***ING OUT OF LINE.

AND THIS NEVER:

SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

EXCUSE ME?

I HAD THIS NICE:

LITTLE SCAM GOING ON...

... UNTIL YOU TOURISTS

GOT INVOLVED...

...AND BLEW THE WHOLE THING UP...

... WITH YOUR YOUTUBE VIDEOS...

...AND YOUR BIGFOOT BABY CRAP.

SO THIS IS MY FAULT?

MOSTLY YOURS AND JEN'S.

OH, HOLD ON,

I DIDN'T WANT...

... SHUT THE HELL UP, JEN.

RELAX, OKAY?

JUST RELAX.

IT'S AN ACCIDENT.

ALL OF US ARE IN ON IT.

WE JUST HAVE TO FIX IT,

IT'S FINE.

RODNEY, F*** YOU, TOO.

YOU'RE JUST AS MUCH

OF A TOURIST AS THEY ARE.

BRO, REMEMBER

WHEN I LIVE 5 MINUTES.

DOWN THE ROAD FROM YOU

AND I'VE SEEN YOU.

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

SINCE WE WERE 6 YEARS OLD.

YOU'RE SCARING HER.

YOU'VE BEEN SQUATTING

ON TRIBAL LAND...

... LONGER THAN THEY HAVE.

SO WHAT?.

SQUATTING?

ENOUGH.

OKAY, I'M SORRY

YOU DON'T LIKE IT,

BUT I AM STICKING

TO THE PLAN.

NOW, YOU AND LOUISE

CAN GET HER HOME...

... AS SOON AS YOU HAVE

AN OPPORTUNITY.

NICE TO HAVE MET YOU, LOUISE,

TAKE CARE OF HER.

UNBELIEVABLE.

HUH.

WHAT, GRANDMA?

MUST BE THE RODEO CLOWN

IN YOU.

ALL YOU GOT TO DO

IS GET THEIR ATTENTION.

AS SOON AS THEY ARE FOLLOWING

YOU, JUMP IN THE BUSHES.

AND TEXT US.

WE'LL SEND UP THE BALLOONS

AND THEN YOU CAN DITCH THE SUIT.

ALL RIGHT.

JEN WILL MEET YOU LATER

AT HOME LATER, OKAY?

YOU GOT IT?

GOT IT.

HEY.

BE CAREFUL.

GO GET 'EM, BABY.

YOU KNOW YOU WERE A JERK.

THANKS, GRANDMA.

YOU REALLY NEED:

TO APOLOGIZE.

I NEED TO APOLOGIZE?

UH-HUH.

SHE CALLED ME CHIEF.

WHICH IS A TITLE OF RESPECT.

SHE SHOULD HAVE:

CALLED YOU TONTO.

IT MEANS STUPID.

SOMETHING WRONG:

WITH OUR PLAN, OFFICER?

WHERE SHOULD I BEGIN?

THIS IS STANDARD

FEDERAL RESPONSE...

... TO A THREAT TO

HOMELAND SECURITY, SO...

... I'VE READ THE BOOK.

JUST THINK THA IT'S OVERKILL...

... FOR A BEAR

SIGHTING.

OVERKILL?

YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT CREATURE.

I ASSURE YOU THIS

IS NOT OVERKILL.

FINE, JUST MAKE

SURE YOU WRITE.

IN YOUR REPORT...

... THAT I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE A MISTAKE...

... TO CALL IN

THE MILITARY...

... OVER A

BEAR SIGHTING.

IT WAS NOT A BEAR.

AGENT WESSON,

IT'S ALWAYS A BEAR.

ARE YOU:

F***ING BLIND?

THERE IT IS.

THAT'S NOT A BEAR.

LET'S GO.

NOPE, JUST A DUMB-ASS.

I CAN NOT BELIEVE

I SCREWED THIS UP SO MUCH.

DAVID SCREWED UP.

YOU TRIED TO APOLOGIZE.

NO, I'M NOT TALKING

ABOUT DAVID.

OKAY, THEN WHAT ARE

YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HAIRY GIRL.

THEY'VE BEEN COMING

HERE FOR WHO KNOWS.

HOW LONG.

WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS

UNTIL WE SCREWED IT UP.

WE'LL FIX IT.

I HOPE SO.

DAVID'S STILL AN A**HOLE.

OKAY. TEN THOUSAND

FREAKING DOLLARS...

... AND YOU COULDN'T FIND

ONE PERSON TO HELP US.

SHH.

HEY, ART, WE JUS GOT A REPORT OF...

... A HIGH-SPEED CHASE

AND BIGFOOT RUNNING DOWN MAIN.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL

IS GOING ON?

HAIRY MAN'S JUST A DUMB-ASS KID.

NOTHING TO GET EXCITED ABOUT.

DON'T LET THEM AROUND.

DON'T LET THEM AROUND,

DON'T LET--COME ON, MIKE.

OH, F***.

A**HOLE.

HE'S GETTING AWAY.

HE'S NOT GETTING AWAY.

WE'RE RIGHT F***ING THERE.

GOD DAMN IT.

COME ON.

SORRY. I NEVER COULD FIGURE

THESE THINGS OUT.

CAN YOU GET HER TO

HER DEN BY YOURSELF?

YES.

I GOTTA GO HELP.

I KNOW.

I KNOW. GO.

I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA.

MM-HMM.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

BE CAREFUL.

HERE, YOU TAKE THE WHEEL.

NO, JUST TAKE THE WHEEL.

WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GONNA GET HIM.

DO YOU SEE HIM?

WHERE IS HE?

WHAT? SERIOUSLY?

HE'S STRAIGHT AHEAD,

STRAIGHT AHEAD.

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

PUT THE GUN DOWN.

PUT THE GUN DOWN.

SH*T, SH*T, SH*T. NO.

HEY, DWAYNE.

HERE YOU GO.

HEY, RC, THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WHAT'S GOING ON

AROUND HERE TONIGHT?

BIGFOOT AND A HIGH-SPEED

CHASE DOWN MAIN.

IT'S DAVID AND RODNEY AGAIN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL

THEY'RE UP TO BUT...

... ONE OF THEIR

GIRLFRIENDS CALLED BEN.

NEEDS A CRANE RENTAL TONIGHT.

IT'S AFTER 10:
00.

- YEAH, I KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL

THEY'RE UP TO, BUT THEY'RE.

PUTTING SOMETHING...

... TOGETHER UP BY THE MEETING

GROUNDS.

IT'S LIKE ONE BIG DAMN PARTY

AROUND HERE TONIGHT.

YEAH, IT IS, ISN'T IT?

HEY, SHERYL. YEAH, IT'S RC.

THERE'S A BIG PARTY GOING ON UP

AT THE MEETING GROUNDS.

NO, NO. CALL THE GALS,

GET A BUNCH OF BEER

AND HEAD ON UP.

NO, I PROMISE, IT'S GOING

TO BE A HUGE SH*T SHOW.

ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GOOD TIME.

ALL RIGHT, MAN. I'LL CALL YOU

FROM THE ROAD...

... AND LET YOU KNOW

WHAT'S GOING ON.

COME ON, RODNEY,

WHAT'S THE HOLD-UP?

I DON'T KNOW ANY

OF THOSE PEOPLE.

I DON'T KNOW, EITHER.

HUH? ANYTHING YET?

NO.

YOU GOT BARS?

FOUR.

WE SHOULD HAVE HEARD

FROM HIM BY NOW.

COME ON, RODNEY.

I'M JUST GOING TO WING HIM.

THERE'S ONLY ONE--

DON'T WING HIM.

WE'RE TALKING

ABOUT RODNEY.

HE'LL BE FINE.

OH, I GUESS THAT'S WHA TEN GRAND WILL GET YOU.

WHERE'S RODNEY?

YOU DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM?

NO, NOTHING.

OH, MY GOD.

HE'S GOING TO.

GET KILLED.

NO, AS LONG AS WE

KEEP HEARING GUNSHOTS.

HE'S NOT DEAD.

WE HAVE TO GO DOWN

THERE AND FIND HIM.

IF RODNEY DIES.

I'M GOING TO BEAT.

THE CRAP OUT OF YOU.

OKAY, THAT'S COOL.

I GOT THIS.

HEY, ART.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR

COUNTY FIRE AND RESCUE...

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