Fonzy Page #4

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Can't be late for Nate.

Hey. I'm a poet!

Bye.

Why are you here?

You're the last thing I need!

- I spoke to our shrink.

- What?

She confirmed you're normal.

That's normal because I am normal.

Listen!

Your anonymity's at shake

and what do you do?

You attend a meeting against yourself.

You'll blow your cover!

You're anything but normal.

Cut it out.

I've known you since we were five

and I swear you're not normal.

So I want you to...

See the shrink again

and tell her about Madonna.

What about Madonna?

Look at me.

Is it normal to pay two grand

for one of Madonna's broken heels?

No, look me in the eye!

It'll be priceless when she dies.

Madonna won't ever die!

- She's indestructible!

- She's going to die.

She doesn't age like us.

She's Highlander!

She's going to die.

How much did you lose

in your edible wrapper scheme

that nearly caused a health scandal?

The guy said he was a scientist.

He was always in briefs and? ip-? ops!

And that Chinese deal?

I thought it was working.

All clear?

I thought photochromic glasses

would sell.

Diego. just try to get it!

I feel my life's on track

for the first time ever.

Believe me,

it's a one-way line to trouble.

Diego, please.

Don't see your kids anymore.

Hi, 'Fonzy.

I'm Xavier, your biological son.

No soy Fonzy.

I jus' do da cleanin'.

I hate being lied to.

My mum lied to me for 20 years.

How did you...

You're easy to spot in my audience.

After I saw you at the meeting,

I followed you.

Going to expose me?

I don't know yet.

You don't want it to be

our little secret?

That depends on you.

I'd like to get to know you first.

What do you do for a living?

I work in fish.

You sell red tuna?

Among others.

You know red tuna

is an endangered species?

Screw the planet, huh?

No, not at all, it interests me.

It's true, I'm worried but...

I need to take a closer look.

Don't lie to me! You don't care.

To be honest,

I have other problems right now.

What are you into?

Soccer.

I expected an artist.

Someone like me.

But you're into sport.

Like all the bullies at school.

You got bullied at school?

Yes, I'm a bit 'different'.

Different how?

Maybe because most people

are born of love.

Not of a guy jerking off into a jar.

There's your mother.

Sure, my mother...

I want to watch you for a while.

I'll move in here.

No way, this place is dangerous.

There's no lock on the door.

So I won't need a key.

Let's net waste more time.

Where's my room?

What's this?

I got an assistant to help me.

A thing like that must be a huge help!

Deep in debt you hire a sloth?

Let him get used to it.

The smell of fish makes him nauseous.

Stand back.

Always criticising...

I can't take it any more.

He's really pissing me off.

He questions everything,

contradicts me all the time...

I'm sick of it.

Elsa's meeting my family on Sunday.

What do I do with him?

He knows where I live!

Be sincere.

Tell him you're seeing Elsa.

HO3 stuck to are like glue!

He'll want to meet her.

He's crazy.

He buys junk food.

He's costing me a bomb.

He's pissing me off.

I'm going to snap, Quentin.

Diego, calm down, OK.

Do everything he asks.

If he rats on you, it's a disaster.

Everything he wants!

There, hold it steady...

That's good.

Try to hold your leg.

Swap legs now.

I can't take this.

The guy's doing ballet.

He's a ballerina.

Why bring his assistant to training?

He won't be Ballon d'Or.

You said it.

Hold it...

Not with your hands!

Why not?

The rules say you use your feet!

The rules are dumb.

They were around before you.

Follow them and shut up!

I scored a goal!

That wasn't a goal, that was a try!

Use your feet!

You can't use your hands.

Use your feet.

Sh*t!

Use your feet. Great work.

Once you used your feet,

you weren't bad.

- You showed skill.

- You think I'm dumb?

Not at all. You just need to learn

a little tactical stuff

but you'll find your level.

I've been bullshitted all my life!

Everyone lies to me!

I'm spewing up lies.

Calm down!

You're useless.

You've no future in soccer.

On stage maybe

but you can forget soccer.

They said they'd kneecap you

if I took you again.

Thanks for being so honest.

I appreciate it.

I like threats.

I'll go back and I'll make progress.

Sh*t, you're a drag!

Let me see that bruise.

You really messed yourself up.

Watch my hair!

Tomorrow's Sunday. What's on?

A movie?

No, I have to work tomorrow.

I need to be at the fish store at 5am.

I'm not spending Sunday in a fish van.

- Yeah, it's...

- I'll wait here for you.

Good idea.

- It's pretty.

- You seem very relaxed.

I'm happy.

It's a new stage in our relationship.

My dad... Elsa.

We get to meet your princess at last!

My brother, Enrique...

How do you do, Elsa?

Let's eat then we'll look at the albums.

You got out the photos?

No, Dad, he hasn't done that...

This is amazing!

Have some wine.

This one's good!

Save some room.

I love this stuff!

To Elsa!

And to the baby.

- Delicious.

- Anyone for bread?

Nobody wants bread?

- To the cook!

- It's wonderful.

That's me there.

That's Diego's photo.

He's there too.

Who's Mr Muscle?

That's me.

I'd just like to say something.

So, Elsa, you know

nearly everything about him

but there's a key event in Diego's life

you need to know about.

So you know what awaits you.

We're about to tackle a serious topic.

With photographic evidence.

What photos?

Diego's rock band.

Everyone wore makeup in the 80s.

No, I never wore makeup in the 80s!

Dad was worried you might be gay.

He had no doubts about that.

No double?

You wore tights and makeup!

Forget it, don't look at that.

I can't believe that's you!

Quentin with hair!

We had some good times.

Then a big tragedy-

No, Dad. Not that.

Yes.

Why not? Tell her, Dad.

When my wife and I were first married

we dreamed

of a honeymoon in Venice

but couldn't afford it.

Then we had kids, then the shop...

We said that one day,

when we were older...

But the thing is.

Time passes too quickly.

Make the most of the present.

Do you all make the most of the present?

Of course, Dad.

But... my wife fell ill.

It lasted for a long time.

We knew she'd never recover.

Then Diego turned up

with plane tickets

for Venice.

He'd planned it all.

The hotel near the Doges' Palace...

The gondolas because my wife

really loved gondoliers...

He paid for it all. All of it.

Because that's the way Diego is.

So if you can live

with all his failings,

which are countless...

you'll also have

some very beautiful times.

Now let's pray-

A quick one to make me happy.

Dessert first.

There's a dessert too?

We can't end with the paella.

They're such a drag.

I ate too much. I'm like a barrel.

And you drank a lot.

Two glasses. Two glasses is OK.

Why didn't you ever tell me

about that Italian trip?

I'm allowed my secret garden.

Of course you're allowed

your secret garden.

If you don't grow pot in it.

And if you don't have

wives and kids hidden away.

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