Foreign Exchange Page #5

Long time no see.

What's going on, ladies?

Kind of starting to look

like a regular

National League meeting

over here.

National League.

I think you mean

United Nations, cock breath.

Blow me, Jay.

Yeah, maybe you don't know

what we're talking about,

but I bet Osama over here knows.

Why don't you shut the hell up

before something bad

happens to you.

Relax, man.

I'm just messing

with the little towel head.

Yeah, well, leave him alone.

And, Jackson,

do me a favor.

Football season ended

five months ago.

Take off the damn jersey.

Fine.

Dude, you're looking good.

You been hitting

the gym more?

Are these guys

your friends?

Look, you got to give him

a break.

His brother's

over in Iraq right now.

I am from India.

What is his f***ing problem?

You know what,

I'm gonna go knock some sense

into them.

See you guys later.

Bring me back a tooth.

- Will do.

I don't want to be

a downer or anything.

I mean, I really like America,

but sometimes

it's not so easy here.

Yeah, we understand that,

man.

I mean, we live here,

you know?

It's hard.

You know, we should just

get the hell out of here.

Yes, let's cut fifth period

and go get high.

I was actually talking about

this weekend.

We should do something--

You know, just get out of here

for the weekend.

We can go camping.

(Jay)

I'm down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you guys want to go,

meet at my house Friday night;

we'll leave from there.

(Shantz)

Hey, butt buddies.

What the hell's wrong

with you guys, huh?

He ain't nothing

to you.

Oh, gentlemen.

(Lonnatini)

Look, it's little Shantz.

And what position

do you play?

Uh, tailback, why?

You think you can be

a quarterback next year?

Our starter is the top returning

quarterback in the country.

That's fine, Hunter,

but our starting QB

is graduating.

So we could use

a talent like Shantz.

(Lonnatini)

And since there's

no possible way that Shantz

is making these test grades

on his own,

I figure you can start for us

next year

when you repeat senior year.

(man)

Yeah, man.

Hut, hut, hut!

Ha, ha, ha,

good one, janitor.

Remember,

when it howls at the moon,

it's a wolf.

And when it howls at the sun,

it's a cock.

So, how's your bones?

A little itchy,

and a little painful,

but you know what?

For the most part,

I'm feeling pretty good.

You know, I think I'm about

to go ask Robin right now

to go camping with us.

No, you're not.

Why not?

Dave, you must wait

till she asks you, eh?

Ah, cool,

all right, all right.

Oh, here comes Mia.

Got to go.

Hey, Mia.

Aren't you excited?

Excited about what?

For the camping trip

this weekend.

What camping trip?

Oh, Dave did not tell you yet,

did he?

We're all going camping

this weekend.

Sounds like fun.

Yeah.

You know, Dave

really wants you to go.

He's just afraid

to ask you.

Really?

Yes, really.

You should come.

I have to go now,

but I will see you this weekend,

okay?

Okay.

Friday, after school,

Dave's house.

Bye.

Yes.

Hey.

You seem awful happy.

What can I say?

Everything's clean.

Okay.

So word is, you're going

to the lake this weekend.

Yeah.

When were you

gonna invite me?

Oh, I just didn't think

you and mother nature got along.

What's that supposed to mean?

Is that, like, a period joke?

No, it's not a period--

no.

Anyway, look, I was gonna

invite you.

I just--

It's okay, Dave.

Laurent already invited me.

What do you mean

Laurent already invited you?

Yeah, he's been really nice

lately; I don't know.

He said he wanted me

to be there.

Unless you don't want me to go.

No, no, of course--

of course I--

(teacher)

Shh!

[whispering]

Of course I want...

This painting

is from early in her career

and is the piece

that really launched her career.

So if you look closely,

you'll see

the wonderful textures

and brush strokes.

You can almost feel

the artist's passion

and urgency

with which she painted

this masterpiece.

So let's move on.

Didn't I see this in

Ass Pirates II:

Curse of the Pearl Necklace?

This the most gorgeous example

of true art

that I have ever seen.

There is fire.

There is beauty.

There is passion.

So you can go

get out of here.

Oh, really?

Because to me, it looks like

my bedroom most weekends.

Women.

You are a fool.

It's my favorite painting

in the museum.

It's just so, so--

so righteous.

Isn't it?

Very fearless,

very honest.

Did you know that the painter

was born in 1945

and died in 1975?

(Anita)

I know.

Such a short life

but such an amazing body

of work.

Did you know that she was

a very accomplished

guitar player as well.

Really?

No, I did not know that.

[laughs]

I play guitar.

That is wonderful.

Wow, yeah,

and did you know--

and did you know

that she's 17 years old

and in high school?

Did you know that?

No, I didn't.

First off,

my age is not an issue.

Second, who I talk to

is none of your business.

I'm just trying to protect you

from this cock mongrel.

Cock mongrel.

Wow, good one.

You are the one

who is being a cock,

whatever it is, Jay.

Now leave me alone, please.

Whatever.

He's an idiot.

Laurent,

why'd you ask Robin

to the river?

Because she needs

a good f***ing.

What?

What?

- Um...

For you, Dave.

I ask because this way,

Robin will go to the river,

but you can play it cool,

you know?

Hmm, play it cool.

Okay, yeah, yeah,

I like that.

Good job.

Thank you so much, man.

I appreciate it.

I've just been stressing out

about it.

Dude, oh, sh*t.

Be right back.

Hi, Dave.

Mia, what are you doing here?

Going camping, silly.

What does it look like?

Nice job, son.

[groans]

Those Japanese

get good mileage.

You know, your mom and I

used to fit

two of us in there, buddy.

Dad, please.

Listen, choosing a girlfriend,

son,

Is a little like

buying a used car.

If the oil doesn't smell right,

there's probably something wrong

with the vehicle.

[funky rock music]

# #

[indistinct speech]

Pizza parlor.

[all speaking at once]

Robin, will you go with me

to the bathroom?

Yeah, of course.

Anita, do you want to come?

We'll show you

how we rough it in America?

Oh, have you seen pictures

of my hometown?

This place is like a major city

where I come from.

Come on.

(Dave)

Thank you.

(Shantz)

You got to man up, soldier.

You know, Robin isn't gonna

come over

and blow you

in front of all of us.

I don't need to hear this

from you guys

every five seconds;

I know, I know, I know.

Look, I got her here.

You know, I got

the perfect opportunity.

I just--

I don't know what to say.

Mm, well, I would say

in the signature

Shantz supersexy whisper,

"let me sneak it in, baby."

It works almost every time.

Why am I not surprised?

(Shantz) Hey, that's just my skeezy,

all right?

You know, Jay over here

might be the better man

to ask about this.

You got that right.

I am a vaginologist.

So hey, feel free

to ask me anything.

Okay, vaginologist,

with Robin, how do I--

All right, Dave,

I'm gonna let you in

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