Forgetting Sarah Marshall Page #8

Yeah, you got four on me there, mate.

You slept with Sarah a year ago?

I thought you knew!Peter, please, don't take it seriously.

- What the f***, man! You've...- Don't get offended by that.

You can't be so casual about this!

This isn't Europe, okay?There are rules here.

I'm really sorry.I apologise for offending you, Peter.

I just hope this doesn't ruin our friendship.

Well, what's that about?

What do you think it's about?This is a big deal!

What about a code of the ocean?That's not on.

What about codes among men?

You don't sleepwith another man's girlfriend!

- Think of...- Get out of here!

- All right, okay! All right!- Get out of here!

Oh, God!

Koonu! This guy needs help! Koonu!

- Should I call the front desk?- It hurts. It hurts.

Wow, you got coral right there in your leg!

Can you get it out of my leg, please,hotel man?

Can you do something about that?

I'd love to, you know, but hotel policy...They don't let me do that kind of thing.

They get all weirded out. Insurance...

Koonu, can you callthe front desk for me, please?

- Yeah.- It really hurts.

Koonu, call the front desk now!

Okay, monster man.

Pete, he's not gonna do nothing.

I kind of have this thing about blood, okay?

Look at it. It's raping my leg.Peter, get it out of my f***ing leg, please!

One, two.

- You can't get it out.- It's really in there.

- Get it out of me!- Three!

F*** my arse!

Okay, I got it. It's all done. It's all over.

Everything looks fine.

It's all good! They're coming wiki wiki.

Can you get some towels for me, please?I'm really losing a lot of blood.

You sound like you're from London.

Yeah, I'm from London.

What's going on?

You fainted.I didn't want you to wake up by yourself.

- How's your friend? Is he all right?- Yeah.

They gave him stitches,and he's sleeping it off.

- Hey, you wanna hear something funny?- What?

Are you ready to laugh?'Cause this is a gas.

Okay.

Edward Scissorhands over there told methat you two were f***ing each other

for a whole God damn yearwhile we were together.

Sh*t.

How about that, Sarah?

I'm sorry, Peter.

Pete, you shouldn't be upand walking around. Can you please...

Please don't touch me.Just don't touch me, okay?

I'm not touching you.

Will you just please sit? Please?

All right, I'll sit down,but I'm sitting down 'cause I want to,

not because you've asked me to sit, okay?

Great.

A year?

Listen, I get it, okay? I just...

I need to understand what I didto make you cheat. I just...

Pete, it's not anything you did.

You didn't do anything.I mean, you were great.

Will you please cut the bullshitand have a talk with me?

Fine. Cutting the bullshit.

It got really hard to keep taking care of youwhen you stopped taking care of yourself.

I tried to get you out of the house.

I tried to get you off your little islandyou loved so much, the couch.

You didn't wanna see the light of day!

God, there was one weekwhen you wore sweatpants! Every day.

You shall not pass!

You know what? If they were Sean Johnsweatpants, it would have been fine.

But because they're Costco brand,it's like the worst thing I could do.

That has nothing to do with it.That's what you don't get.

I'm sorry that I didn't end up beingwho we thought I was gonna be, you know?

I tried really hard. I promise you that.I just didn't have it in me.

I think if you had just, maybe tried harder.

I tried!

You have no idea how hard I tried, Peter.

I talked to a therapist.

I talked to my mother.I read every book possible.

I took love seminars. I took sex seminars.

None of it worked.None of it made a difference to you.

And I couldn't drown with you any more.

Don't you dare sit thereand tell me that I didn't try.

I did.

You were just too stupid to notice.

Whoa. I thought you were gonna wearthe shirt I got you.

What? No.

I mean, I do love that shirt you got me.

I admire Sir Tommy Bahama an awful lot.

He's a talented man,but tonight, I feel that this is appropriate.

Wow, thank you. Yeah, Sarah got it for me.

This is, like, way more convenientthan my backpack.

Awesome hat!

Thank you.Yeah, my girlfriend got it for me!

- I'm f***ing with you!- Cool!

Sarah, can I use this lipstick, please?

Sure. I don't care.

I think it looks great.But if you're not, let's go change.

No, I like it. I didn't like it at first.Now I really think it's...

Oh, bloody hell. This is a small resort.

Hi, Peter.

Hey. Wow.

Aldous, Sarah, this is Rachel.

Sarah bought me this shirt.

I could've guessed that. Yeah.

- Looks great.- You look great.

Looks awesome.

- See.- Thanks.

Mr Snow, I'm so sorry.I did not know you guys were coming.

You're gonna have to wait five minutes.

I did not know you guys were coming.

It's okay. It's not a problem.

I didn't see you guys, so...

There's really no need to weep.

I'm not crying.

It's no problem, honestly.It's not a problem.

- So, your table is ready, guys.- Oh, great.

Hey, have a lovely evening, you two.

- Thank you. Have a great dinner, you guys.- Thank you.

You're welcome to join us, obviously,if you want.

- Okay.- Wouldn't dream of it. What?

What?

- Oh, okay.- Okay.

That's great. Awesome.- Sure.

Great. I'll just set two more places.

- Okay.- Not a big deal.

Awesome.

So this is actually happening.We're gonna let this happen.

I am so sorry.

I never thought in a million yearsshe would say yes.

I did.

What? I just accepted an invitation.I didn't wanna be rude.

It's got us in a terrible situation.

Now I'm gonna have to sit with himwearing this shirt all night.

You're wearing the shirt regardless.

Australia is amazing.

- I'm telling you. It is a great place to shoot.- Yeah?

Rachel, you would love it.You would love it.

I wanna go. I really, really wanna go there.

- Wait, so when's the movie coming out?- Mmm.

It came out.

- It was already released.- Oh.

Well, you know, it's an island.

It's isolated.

- Yeah.- Movies don't really come out here.

- Obviously.- Did you like it?

- The movie?- Yeah.

- It was...- Awful bloody film.

I say, it's just a ridiculous premise.

What would happenif your mobile phone killed you?

I told her that when she read the script.

Yeah. You were the voice of reason, mate.

I tried to be, but she didn't listen.

Going around killing people.A mobile phone, like, doing murders.

Why couldn't you just take the batteryout of the phone?

Right. That's it. The battle's over.

- Yeah, we've won.I hated it.

Well, it's not for everyone, but it...

No, it's ridiculous. Here's my favourite scene.

Ring-ring. Hello?

Right. It would never happen.- Yeah.

No, it could never happen.

It's a metaphor for addiction to technology.

For society,for how we're reliant on technology.

I get it. I'm with you.

It's a metaphor for a crap movie.

Well, it was the right choicefor me at the time.

Sure.- You know?

Well, this is awkward.

Yeah?

- It's a bit more awkward now.A little.

Hey, excuse me.Can we get another bottle of wine, please?

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