Forgetting Sarah Marshall Page #9

- Sure.- Thank you.

Mr Snow?

Can I get cranberry juicewith a bit of lime in it, please.

Do you want cranberry juiceor cranberry cocktail?

Because I can probably rustle up either one.Throw some OJ...

I don't care.

Okay, great.

Hey, can we get another bottle of wine?

If I've learned anything from addiction,it's that,

you know, life is as briefas the twinkling of a star over all too soon.

So if you're in a situationwhere you're with a woman,

why not do the most interesting thingthat you can do in that situation?

And by which, I don't meanhave a conversation,

have a chin-wag, a bit of a chat.

Lose yourself in somethingthat's both ancient and perennial.

Find something eternal, perpetual.Lose yourself in f***.

I'm going to disagree.

Respectfully, of course, sir.

Maybe for you, that works.

For me, it's much more enjoyableto get to know somebody.

If you end up sleeping with them,that's great.

But I like getting to know somebody.

But he...

What he's saying is thathe's gonna stick it wherever he wants,

but he's joking.

I ain't. No, I'm not joking.

It's just what I believe, really.

So...

Just so we're clear and so I can hone inon your central thesis of the night,

wade through all the bullshit,

you're telling methat you think you have the right

to just f*** anyone, anywhere, anytime?

- Yes. There it is. That's right.- That's what you're saying?

Not so eloquentlyas you just put it, sweetheart.

But ultimately, yes, that is...

Oh, no! Not the shirt!

Take my eyes, but not the shirt. Mmm.

Yeah, that's pretty muchwhat I believe, Sarah.

When you're done making jokes,are you gonna get a napkin?

Do you know what? I think I've improved it,actually, against all odds.

I think I deserve a design award.

Please get some seltzer water.

- Garon, could we get some...- I saw it from farther away.

- Okay.- Just lean back for a second.

No, it's all right. It's not there. Let me...

You're very diligent. I appreciate it.

Let go of the glass now.You're gonna have to walk away.

Bless you. There you are.

Oh, me, oh, my.

- Call the doctor.- Oh, good.

- I love Hawaii.- Is it good?

Yeah, it's nice,but I think for like a week tops.

Any more than that, I know I'd go crazy,

because I think thatHawaii is a place to escape

for people who can't dealwith the real world.

Yeah, you know, there's so fewpersonal shoppers and pet therapists.

Gosh, it's such a hard life.

I like living here.

- Anyone need any more vino?- I think we're good.

I've a question for you real quick, Mr S.

I was actually meaning to ask you,what did you exactly think of my demo?

Did you get it? Did you get it?

Oh, no. I was gonna listen to that,

but then I just carried on living my life.

Not at all?

No, I didn't, because, you know,I go on my instincts,

and they weren't good.

You know what, dude?F*** you, okay? You can go f*** yourself.

I can't yell right now because I'll get fired.

My boss will hear me,

and then I won't be ableto pay off my student loans.

But you know what? You're an a**hole.I f***ing hate you.

I bought all your records.

This whole f***ing time, I've been tryingto get you to come hang out with me.

I'm gonna have people f*** with your foodthe rest of your trip, you f***ing dick!

I like him. That was quite moving.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Are you sure that you're not,like, too drunk?

Jesus, would you stop being so sensitive.

Aldous.

Wake up.

- Aldous. Wake up.- Hmm...

Make love to me.

All right. You go on top, though,'cause I'm knackered.

Listen.

Yes! Yes!

- Yeah.Yes!

- Oh, yes!- Yeah!

- Yeah! Oh, God!- Yeah!

- Right there!- Yes!

- Yes!- Yes! She's having an orgasm!

This is the best sex ever!

Yeah, all right, that'll do.

What?

I made a mistake coming here with you.

And I'm not done either!

- Please shut up! Okay.- Okay!

You're still involved with him next door,ain't you?

Excuse me?

You should've seen yourselfat dinner, Sarah.

Then we come back here,and you put on that ghastly performance.

I mean, I've heard thatwomen do fake orgasms,

but I've never seen one.

It really deeply upset me.

You should have seen yourself at dinner.

"Oh, I'm AldousSnow. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

"No, no drinks for me, thanks.

"Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. "

That's a really reductive impression.

If I wanted to see you act badly,I'd just watch your TV show,

which, obviously, I can't now,because it's been cancelled.

Oh, my God, you're such a prick.

And you know what?

Let me tell you somethingabout these tattoos, okay?

That is Buddhist. That is Nordic.That is Hindu. That's just gibberish.

They are completely conflicting ideologies.

And that does not make youa citizen of the world.

It makes you full of sh*t.

Was that genuine or did you fake that?

Right. I'm gonna probably clear off now.

I'll have a little sleep for a few hours,

then I'm gonna probably goin the morning, okay?

I hate your music.

Yeah, well,I f***ed the housekeeper the other day.

Are you sleeping?

Not any more.

I know that I'm leaving in a couple of days,so I don't even know

what the hell this means,

but I really like spending time with you a lot.

I know. Me too.

Hey.

Good morning.

Where are you going?

The Korean Textile Manufacturer's Luau.

- Just kill me.- Fun.

Joy.

I want you to knowthat I meant what I said last night.

I know you did.

I did, too.

- Can I see you again tonight?- Yeah.

- I get off at 7:00.- Yay.

Bye.

Sir, morning mai tai.

You know what?

I actually will not be havingan alcoholic beverage this morning.

Jump! Jump! Jump!- Don't make me do it.

Hey. Morning, mate.

- How are you today?- Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. You okay?

Am I okay? I'm better than okay, my friend.

You seem sprightly.

I...

I had a great time last night.

- Congratulations. Well done. Well done.- Thank you.

What about you? What's with the bag?

Right, yeah. I'm off back to England, mate.

Oh, you and Sarah are going to England.

No, no, no. I'm just going alone.

- Yeah.- Did you guys have a fight or something?

Yeah, it was really... How you servedfive years under her, I don't know.

You deserve a medal or a holidayor at least a cuddle from somebody.

You were only here for a week.

Well, I don't know.For me, that one week of it

was like going on holiday with,I don't know, I wouldn't say Hitler,

but certainly Goebbels.It was like a little holiday with Hitler.

Jesus.

Hey, listen, at least it's clear nowfor you two to reconnect.

Oh...

No, no. No.

You know what?I have a good thing going on with Rachel,

and I want to see that through.

Well, maybe you could have both of them.Rachel and Sarah.

They got on all right, didn't they, at dinner?So maybe...

You know what?First of all, I'm not that kind of guy.

And even if I was, I don't think that I havethe sexual competency to really pull that off.

Yeah. It's a gift.

I will say,if you do get back with Miss Marshall,

handle with care, because, you know...

Okay. Well, I think my ride's here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes