Freebie and the Bean Page #4

- And we're gonna have him.

And once he's here, sir..

'We'll have his ass.'

Sit down.

'Both of you, sit down.'

'I-I-I would..'

I would like to ask you

just one more question

before I have you

both committed.

Why'd you arrest Red Meyers

and tip him off

when you got the whole thing

sitting in your laps?

You couldn't wait

until Monday?

No, sir, see..

There's a problem.

a small problem.

We got a little problem

in that regard, sir.

It's a small problem, sir, but..

and that is that, uh..

Red Meyers may not be

alive on Monday, sir.

There's a contract out

from Detroit professionals.

- Killers.

- Think we have a major problem.

It's a huge problem, I mean how

do you deal with a monstrous--

'We don't have a problem.'

We don't have one major problem

You-you know

why we don't have a problem?

I'm gonna tell you

why we don't have a problem.

There's no problem here.

'Red Meyers will be

alive by Monday.'

You know why Red Meyers

will be alive by Monday?

Because you boys are going

to keep him alive until Monday.

That's what this office

wants you to do

unless you like fish.

I don't mean to eat.

I mean to garden.

Sir, gar..?

- Garden.

- Of course.

Sir, if I, uh, you know

I could be bold enough to, um..

I mean, what if we do keep him

alive until Monday?

Are you trying to make

a deal with me, Freebie?

No! He's just only asking..

It was just a kind of a..

- He's just asking a question.

- That's all.

I like that.

No, he's only,

he's just asking..

Just..

'I didn't mean, uh..'

You'll have the gratitude of all

the people of this great state.

Well, that's all,

you know, that's..

That's all we could ask..

That's all we want.

That's..

Who wouldn't?

Please get out of my office.

Sir?

He wants us

to get out of his office.

Handle it, handle it.

What's the matter?

Can't you talk to people?

You can do it.

Alright.

- Hey, boss.

- What?

Those two yahoos

in the police car

are still following us.

Don't lose him.

Don't lose him.

Not gonna lose him.

It's a 600 Mercedes Limousine.

Might steal it.

I'm not gonna lose it.

Look, there's still

a tail on me.

How the hell do I know?

Somebody got

a wild hair up his ass.

So, rest of this week,

you make the deposits.

Yeah, I'm bringing

the tally sheets to my house.

Only, uh, you got one

like the blue one?

Get the blue tie

out of the window.

- Oh, don't bother.

- For you, Mr. Meyers?

Herbie, get the blue tie.

What is that cardone..

What do you make

that in a basement?

I'm lucky I have a dozen of em',

Amish, Mr. Meyers.

Amish, huh?

All right, I'll take it.

Do you believe

that moron's paying

$65 a piece for those shirts?

- Moron?

- Yeah.

- Moron?

- Yeah.

Yeah?

Ever dawn on you,

you dumb peon

that there's a reason that

people spend $65 for a shirt?

Dawned on me

some people are idiots.

- Idiots?

- Yeah.

Do you know why I'd spend

$65 for this shirt?

Why is that?

Send it to cleaners 1 00 times

comes back

with the buttons on it.

That's right, it's not like

like it was sewn on

by a bunch of gooks in Taiwan

like this piece of crap,

you're wearing.

Here look at this, $5 rag.

Look at it, look at it.

Look at this.

Look at it.

Ah, what the hell.

You get what you paid for,

how'd I expect you

to understand that,

look at this you're wearing

Thom McAn shoes

with goddamn white socks.

Come out in the street.

cause I'm gonna knock your teeth

down your throat!

Don't touch me, anymore,

what do you think

you own the goddamn world?

May I help you gentlemen?

- No!

- Yes, yes, you can.

Sorry about the noise,

Mr. Meyers.

That's okay.

They're with me.

We're, uh, we're police.

I'm a police officer.

'This..'

I'm with..

Screw it!

Uh, yeah, well..

That's a-a fire hazard up there.

Oh, that, are you a policeman

or a fireman, which?

Oh, oh, I see, fine.

Alright, forget I said it.

You got a phone in here, huh?

A phone?

No, uh, no, I don't.

Public phone's fine.

I don't have to use your phone.

Wait, wait, wait.

What're you talking about?

If it was up to me,

understand, I-I'd let it go.

I mean, uh,

this-those regulations

I mean, it's really nitpicking,

you know what I mean?

But these guys,

they're gonna come around

next week, you know?

And uh, well, when they see

that exit door

blocked back there

it is blocked, isn't it?

Got a lot of paper

in the trash cans back there.

Gee, this is lovely

stuff here, lovely.

- Oh, you like it?

- Very much.

Uh, you have no baffle

on that air conditioning vent.

I'm afraid

that doesn't look too good.

I must be really stupid.

I should've figured out

a long time ago

what's wrong with you.

What do you mean, you'd figure

out "what's wrong with me"?

You don't know you're stealing.

You think what other people do

is called stealing

but when you do it,

there's some kind of

noble motive attached to it.

Like when I was a kid

I'd steal, but I'd only do it

from thrifty cut-rate drugstores

so I thought

I was really terrific.

- Through?

- Yeah.

Okay, let me explain

something to you, alright.

When a guy goes in the store

to steal something

he goes with a gun

or he hides it

under his jacket

and he walks out, right?

Did I hide anything?

Did I hide anything?

I mean, answer me.

Did the guy say, Please take

this jacket,

I mean, is that stealing?

Why are you trying

to justify yourself to me?

I'm not, you're

justifying yourself to me.

Look, I risk my life for what?

200 and change

every goddamn week?

What for to protect

this neighborhood

and that stupid store

from some junkie

that's gonna walk in there

one night, right

and rob the entire register.

So to show his gratitude,

this guy

he gives me this $250 jacket

which happens to cost him $32.

I mean, that's immoral, right?

You'll be terrific on

the Vice Squad, you know that?

They ought to start you off

as a captain.

Yeah, you're really, uh, you're

really turning into a shrew.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah!

What the hell do you think

I did that whole number for?

- Don't know.

- To get you a nice new shirt.

That's right.

Don't smile at me.

When you turned it down

I had to take something,

I hurt the guy's feelings.

That's right.

Hey, meatball!

What are you doing?

Look at that idiot

standing out there.

We get out of the cross fire

when those guys

from Detroit show up,

they're very good.

(man on radio)

'I know you've got a couple

of secrets up your sleeve.'

'What did you guys

say to each other in huddle?'

(man #2 on radio)

'Well, Bill, we don't

just talk to each other.'

'We talk to Christ,

so when that ball is snapped'

'then I'm looking downfield

at those mother[beep]'

'coming at me, and I know

Christ is on our side'

'and that's why we're going to

break their [beep] heads, kick the

holy [beep] out of them this Sunday..'

(Freebie)

'Where the hell is he?'

I wrote a make sheet on Michigan

Phil early this morning.

(Dispatcher)

'Don't make a federal case,

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