Freebie and the Bean Page #5

Freebie.'

'Lt hasn't come in yet.

1 0-4.'

(Freebie)

'What do you mean

it hasn't come in yet?'

This guy's gonna kill somebody!

And I know what the hell

he looks like!

What'd you do,

send him a postcard?

What is there,

holiday in Detroit?

Are they celebrating

a goddamn car

that hasn't fallen

apart in 1 2,000 miles?

That's right, scream and yell,

make some more friends downtown

to help us out

when we're in the crunch.

Yeah, this is all the friend

you need right there.

The Lone Ranger.

And his faithful

companion Superspic.

Jesus Christ,

are you lucky I'm your partner.

Anybody else would have

let you get killed years ago.

- Let me get killed?

- That's it.

You'll make

somebody a lovely wife.

Thank you.

Hey, wait a minute.

Let me get killed?

What about the last year

when you walked out

of the car and you said uh..

"Excuse me, mister,

you with the, uh.."

"With the money on the scene"

"the gun

and the mask on your face."

- ls that supposed to be me?

- I-I'm working on it..

"You with all the money

and-and-and the mask

"and the gun, excuse me,

I have to see..

I have to see

your license, okay?"

"Is.."

What?

Michigan plates.

Think that's him?

The way he's looking at Meyers.

Intelligence 21 .

Assistance at 435 Pine.

Suspect under surveillance.

1 0-4.

Makes a move, I'm going

to scream down on him, alright?

- Yeah.

- Cover me.

- Right.

- Here we go.

Go, go, go.

Hey, hold it right there.

Hey, hey,

what are you doing to her?

Leave her alone!

[grunts]

Hey, Freeb!

Take your filthy hands..

Hyah!

Freebie?

[siren wailing]

Hey, let go.

Are you crazy?

Look, give her what she wants.

She'll win anyway.

She'll get it in court.

I know!

Let me go, will you?

Let go of the pole, miss.

Bean!

Come here.

Get him in there.

Get his gun. Get it.

- Get his gun!

- He hasn't got a gun!

What do you mean

he hasn't got a gun?

I'm telling you

he hasn't got one!

Well, get his lD,

something, will you?

[indistinct chattering]

- Argh!

- What?

He's a Cadillac

salesman from Detroit!

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here,

a**hole?

What are you doing here?

- Idiot!

- Get off him!

I was meeting her,

she's my boss' wife

but you already know that.

- You dummy!

- Oh, my God!

We were going to a motel!

We were going to a motel.

I swear to God

we won't do it again.

Tell him I won't do it again!

I swear to God,

I know it ain't right

but I won't do it again,

tell him!

Tell him I won't do it again!

- That's going to get--

- Tell him I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

Did you get a load

of those guys, huh?

Mr. Inconspicuous.

I don't see Red Meyers.

Where the hell is Red Meyers?

Meyers is right here,

right here, 3 cars up.

- Get closer.

- I'm trying.

[tires squeal]

well, that guy

in the Plymouth's in a hurry.

What the hell was that move?

Can you read the license plates?

Yeah.

D.M.V, 389-PCE.

Plymouth Fury, blue.

(female over speaker)

'Reply to D.M.V. request.'

'Plates registered

to '71 Oldsmobile sedan.'

'Sharon Moss,

61 2 North Orange Drive.'

That's no Olds.

Hot plates coming through.

Let's take him.

- Get the, uh--

- Camouflage.

That ought to do it.

Good, you look like

a Mexican umpire.

[whistling]

(Bean)

'Don't look at him, for Christ's

sakes, don't look at him.'

[tires squealing]

Sh*t, he made us.

I think it was the shoes, huh?

Yeah.

[tires squealing]

[siren wailing]

- Hey!

- Ah, jeez!

Hey, come back here!

[tires squealing]

[screaming]

Holy sh*t!

I don't believe you're

really doing this.

Believe it!

'Believe it!'

[tires squealing]

I'll get that bastard.

He's having lunch somewhere.

[horns honking]

Come on, he's probably home

by now.

Oh..

Not bad, huh?

Okay, now, take it easy.

The man's gonna kill somebody.

Please, please, Bean, this is

hard enough without your help.

[bells ringing]

- Dirty bastard.

- Well, we'll get him later.

- Dirty bastard!

- Let's go get a cup of coffee.

Dirty bastard!

Dirty bastard!

- Bastard.

- No, no, no, no!

- Bastard.

- No, no, no.

- Dirty bastard.

- No, no, no, aah!

[both screaming]

Ta-da.

Agh!

Come on!

Don't fool around!

You're gonna get us killed!

What are you, crazy?

[grunting]

You're crazy.

[band music playing]

[all screaming]

[horn honking]

I can't stand working

with you anymore!

I want an ambulance immediately!

- You pushed him!

- I got a headache.

You pushed that bastard!

I want an ambulance.

This is intelligence car 21 .

He killed about

half a dozen people there

because you pushed him.

(Freebie)

'Get me an ambulance

immediately.'

Got a dead goddamn mike!

[people shouting]

[tires squealing]

[crashes]

[indistinct chattering]

[horn blaring]

Ah, screw you.

[siren wailing]

(man)

'Hey, you crazy bastard!'

(man)

'Officers! Officers--'

Think I can cut him off

at Fremont.

Stop this car and turn around.

Turn around? I'm not losing

him now! Get off my ass!

You're responsible

for six people back there.

- Laying in the street!

- Get off my goddamn back!

Now listen to me!

- I hope you're happy now.

- I'm sorry.

[horn wailing]

- What?

- Aah!

[screaming]

It's alright.

Um, we're, uh..

Police officers, uh..

'Can I use your phone?'

Hi, Fred.

We got in a little accident.

'Uh, could you send a tow truck,

please'

'to, uh..'

'...61 8, Elm Street?'

Hold it.

It's the, uh, third floor,

apartment 304.

[instrumental music]

I wanted you to know

You meet someone

I'll always be around

When you need someone

I'll be around

Let me be the one

you go to..

Hi, babe.

What are those?

Well, um..

This here is

a chocolate layer cake

and this is a rather large

kosher pickle.

[giggles]

Ah, go on and read.

- Oh!

- Go on read your book.

This is very, very important.

I don't wanna cut into

your reading time, at all.

Okay.

Girl like you needs

all the knowledge.

- Please.

- Oh, I can..

[giggling]

[moaning]

I got some of your stuff

from the cleaners

but the rest of it won't be

ready till Monday.

They're really swamped.

- Goddamn Super Bowl.

- I know.

Hey, you said, uh..

You were going by my apartment.

Did you go?

Mm-hmm,

there was a whole pile of stuff

in the middle

of the floor so I took

that to the cleaners too.

- A big pile?

- Uh-huh!

Oh, that was the janitor.

Honey, It's so silly,

I don't know

why you don't just

take my spare key

and bring the rest--

(Freebie)

'This is very good.'

Really, your food's terrific.

I was afraid that, um

it might get dried out

from being in the oven.

- It ain't dry.

- Don't say ain't.

Oh, I'm sorry.

For an English teacher,

that's like

nails on a blackboard.

[giggles]

So what happened today?

Same old crap, you know.

Beat up a couple hookers.

'They were easy.'

Drunk knocked over a sign

on Fremont Street.

What were you doing

standing in front

of the sign at the time?

Hmm?

'Oh.'

Uh, no, uh, Bean

when I leaned out to yell at him

he rolled up a window

and caught it in there.

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