Fun Mom Dinner Page #8

- Can we do this later? We need to find Emily.

- Okay.

- Oh! Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

- Huh?

- Looks like I might've targeted

the wrong vessel.

- You think?

- Let's get out of here.

- God. Sh*t.

- God, it feels so good...

just to be the old me for a few hours.

You know, not, like...

Mommy or...

anything.

Just... Emily.

- Hmm.

I'm a huge fan...

of just Emily.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Oh, I... I can't. I'm sorry.

It was so fun at the bar,

and... and it has been a really long time

since anyone has kissed me like that,

but my... I mean...

I'm married, I am married,

I am super married and... ew.

I'm sorry. Oh, God.

Where am I?

- Hey. Hey, hey.

- What?

- You didn't do anything wrong.

- What? I kissed you.

- I kissed you.

- I kissed you back!

I'm so sorry.

- For what, stopping?

It was going very well.

- That's funny.

- Look.

I've been a wake-up call

for a few married women in my life.

It's not... it's not the end of the world.

- I got to go, I got to go. My friends

and... I have to wake up in the morning,

because it's a school

morning, so I got to go. Hey.

- What?

- Okay.

But you should kiss your husband like that,

by the way.

- So you see anything out there?

- Sort of,

but it's so dark now

that I feel like I've lost sight of them.

- Yeah.

I'm not worried. I think you're

friend probably has Luke, like,

hog-tied and begging for mercy by now.

- Oh, yeah? Well, let's hope so.

- I got to say, uh,

you ladies are something else,

I love it. It's very cool.

Thanks.

- So you're all... married, then?

- Oh, well, they are.

I'm not. I'm divorced.

- Oh, really?

- Mm-hmm.

- I mean... I'm sorry.

That's... that's too bad. Or... is it?

I mean, is it too bad?

- No, it's certainly better than being

married to my ex, that's for sure.

- Right, yeah, good. Well, that's good.

- Not bad.

- I mean, that you're happier.

- Right.

- That's good. Yes, yes, yes.

- I would say I'm definitely happier.

Yeah.

- Yeah.

- So what about you?

Are you in a relationship or...?

- No, not right now.

- Mm-hmm.

- No.

- So how did you get stuck

being the designated driver tonight?

- Oh, I volunteered.

- You did?

- Yeah, yeah. I don't

like drinking too much.

It makes me feel all weird

in my head, you know.

Are you cold?

- Oh.

- A little chilly there.

- Oh, thank you.

Here.

- It's cold. Thank you.

- Well, Melanie?

- What?

- I'm waiting.

- Waiting for what?

- Jaws jokes. On land tonight,

out here, you got nothing.

- Oh, you're right.

Sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

Come on. Come on.

- Oh...

I have never felt so sober

in my entire life.

- All right, let's go look and see

if we can find Jamie and Barry,

and more luck than we did.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

- Whenever.

- Okay.

Come on, come on.

- I love peanuts so, like,

a peanut beer, is that a thing?

- F***, yes.

- Yeah? It's a peanut.

- Great idea.

Take that one step further.

What if it's like a whole line

of, like, stadium flavours?

- Right.

Peanuts,

hotdogs, pretzels.

- Mustard beer.

- Why aren't we writing this down?

- I don't know. 'Cause... You know what?

- All right, someone tooted.

- Yeah, it was probably all of them.

- How dare you fart on me?

- When my kids fart...

- Don't even finish the sentence.

- Dude, dude, dude, dude...

- Don't even finish the sentence.

- L... love... it.

- What do you binge on?

- Oh, I don't know.

I try to watch what I eat,

watch my weight, so...

- Oh, no, I mean, like, like, binge watch.

Like Netflix? Amazon?

- Oh, yeah. Uh, duh.

No, I, um, I... don't really do

any of that stuff.

I'm more of a regular cable-TV guy.

- Oh, I love regular cable TV.

- Yeah?

- As a matter of fact,

this is so embarrassing,

but I actually fall asleep

watching HGTV.

- Oh, my God, me too.

Almost, like, every night,

I fall asleep watching Love It or List It.

- I love that show!

- Yeah?

- Ever noticed how

they always choose to love it?

- Yes! Every time!

- Always.

They always choose to love it.

- I know.

I think they're gonna list it,

and then they love it,

then sometimes I'm, like:

"They're making us think they love it,

so they actually list it,

but then they just love it."

- I think you're an old soul, Barry.

- Old soul? Aw.

I like that. That's nice.

The last girl I dated told me

I reminded her of a... bashful predator.

Now the party's over

I'm so tired...

- Where are all of my friends?

- They are looking for you.

They actually went bonkers. Uh, they thought

Luke had abducted you or something.

- What?

- Yeah.

- Don't worry about it.

I'm... Listen, I'm sure they'll be back

soon. Just hang out here for a little bit.

- No, I got to... I got to call Kate.

Just... Okay. Except for...

I don't have my phone. It's gone.

- Use my phone. Use my phone.

I don't want any trouble.

Just take the phone.

- Um... I don't know her phone number.

It's in my phone.

- You don't know

your friend's number?

- No, I don't know my friend's number!

It's in my phone!

- Truly just trying to be helpful.

- Who knows anybody's phone number anymore?

F*** technology.

- Oh, my God. Guys, I can just call Barry.

- Who's Barry?

- Who are you?

- Barry is my buddy, and he took

all your friends looking for you.

Looking for me where?

You know what? They

were tracking your phone.

- I don't have my phone.

F***.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

Are you kidding me with that phone?

- What?

Hello, it's Barry.

Really? Emily's at the bar.

- What?

- Yeah.

- Can I talk...?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Hello?

Ah!

- It's go time.

- I'm right behind you.

- Nice aft.

- Oh, God.

If she came here willingly,

I'll f***ing kill her.

- Emily!

- Jamie!

- Ah... Oh, my God,

we were so worried.

They still haven't come back.

- What the f***?

Oh, you guys, we gotta get help.

This is bad.

- Well, there's got to be Marina security.

They'll call in whoever to help.

- That's a good idea. Okay, you go do that.

- All right.

- Jamie.

- What?

- Look at me.

Where was the last place that you saw them?

- Down there.

- Take me.

- Okay, come on, let's go.

- Okay, where the f*** is Emily?!

- Hey, get off my boat.

- Your boat? Excuse me, matey,

but I'm gonna have to see

your license and registration.

- Uh, Mel, let's just go.

Emily's not here.

- It's my dad's boat,

but I'm gonna need you to leave.

- Bae, be nice.

They're homeless.

- We are not homeless.

- You must be hungry.

- I'm actually pretty hungry.

- Okay, now's not the time. All right.

Somebody tell me what's going on here.

- It's Senior Skip tomorrow,

so we're having a party.

- This is a party?

Don't bullshit me.

- Oh, my God!

- There you are!

- Emily!!!

We saw your unicorn

hanging over the side!

Where the f*** have you been?!

- Uh, James, what are all these

old-ass MILFs doing on the boat? Ah!

What the f***?

- Oh! Wait a minute.

It's here. Your phone is here.

Did you hear that, that ping?

Here, look.

- Were these kids at Luke's?

- Give me that bag.

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