Fun with Dick and Jane Page #6

Synopsis: The day before Globodyne's stock tanks, a la Enron, and its pension fund evaporates, the corporation's CEO and CFO set up middle manager Dick Harper to be the public face of the disaster. Jobless, and with no savings, pension, or home equity, Dick and his wife Jane sink slowly into poverty. He looks for work (as do all former Globodyne executives); he even tries day labor with the relatives of their Mexican nanny. A foreclosure notice sends Dick and Jane over the edge into a life of blue-collar crime. Then, as things finally look up, the report of an looming indictment pushes Dick and Jane toward a denouement with the real criminals, the white-collar guys.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Dean Parisot
Production: Columbia Pictures
  7 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
47
Rotten Tomatoes:
29%
PG-13
Year:
2005
90 min
$110,332,737
Website
2,673 Views


and initialed the document...

... the account rep will take

the CRM- 1 14...

... back to McAllister for final

approval before finalization,

You said this was

gonna be simple.

Can you explain it again?

Jane doesn't seem to understand.

- Jane, it's simple. It's so simple.

- Jeez.

Now, listen.

All we have to do...

... is switch McAllisters CRM-114

with his account number...

... with one of our own,

- I'm so sorry.

- A copy that we have made...

...that has a number from an account

that I have established.

And Jack sends the 400 million

to us without knowing it.

That's-- You got it. It's so simple.

That is beautiful. It's a switch.

- It's a switch,

- It's a switch,

- It's a switch.

- That's so sexy, man.

- That's unbelievable. It'll be fun.

- But Jane's gonna have to do it.

Because if McAllister sees either

one of us, he'll know something's up.

- And l... ?

- Do nothing.

I can do that.

Yeah.

Okay.

- You do it, then. You're the one.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- You could do it, except--

- No, it's good.

No, you do it. You do it. You do it.

- You deserve to do it.

- Honey--

Are you ready to make the switch?

Do you have the form?

- It's right here.

- We should practice the move.

- No, I got it.

- Okay, fine.

I won't be involved.

I won't participate at all.

- You do it. It's all you.

- Let's do one for good luck.

I got dressed up.

You're not doing me any favors.

- Get out of the car!

- I just think it's important.

That's all.

Okay, I'll be the bank representative.

And you be you.

Hey. Hey! Wait, sir.

- No! No, no. No!

- Sorry.

- Everybody ready?

- No.

- What?

- Well, Dick lost the form.

- So....

- What?

Do you have an extra copy?

Do you have any idea

what I went through to get that? !

Oh, let me guess, a fifth of Scotch!

You son of a--

Wait. Stop it. Knock it off!

My God. Wait a second.

Can we get another one?

Is that possible?

How can we do that?

You know what,

I'm gonna take the car...

...and I'm gonna try

to delay McAllister.

- He's here. He's here.

- Oh, God.

- What are you--?

- I'm going.

That was not cool.

Okay. It's very simple. I got it.

- I got it. It's very simple.

- What?

Go into the bank. Go into the office

of the client-relations coordinator.

The document forms are backed up

on her disk, you have to print one out.

- Who's this guy? Do I say hello?

- Never mind. Just blow past them.

Quaint.

McAllister, 1 2 o'clock.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go stall him.

- Hon.

- What?

How am I supposed to find

the client-relations coordinator?

Turn around.

Oh, my-- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, Jack McAllister.

- I'm sorry?

- It's me, Deb Festerbooth.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Oh, is that the legendary

espresso machine?

You want some?

- Really, could l?

- Sure, yeah.

- Good to see you.

- From the fundraiser.

I am truly sorry,

but I really don't recall you, Miss... ?

Festerbrook-- Booth. Yes.

No, listen, this is crazy.

You have to remember.

- And here you go.

- Thank you.

Oh, excuse me. That's my phone.

Oh, me too.

Grand Cayman Bank,

how may I help you?

Karen Williams, please.

- This is Karen.

- Yes, Mrs. Williams...

...this is Officer Redgreen...

...of the MVPDL.

And we've recovered a stolen vehicle

that is registered in your name.

We'd appreciate it if you could

come to the impound lot--

What? My car's been stolen?

Don't you remember my tattoo

of a green monkey on my ass?

Someone stole my car

right out of the parking lot.

No way.

- Yeah.

- It's Dick.

I got it.

- Dick.

- Yeah.

Is the client-relations coordinator

a blond woman with a red scarf?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- She noticed her car isn't stolen.

- What's the account number?

- P-N-5-9-7...

P-N-5-9-7...

- ...2-K-4-0.

- 2-4-K--

No, 2-K-4-0.

- Oh, my God.

- Got it.

Oh, my God, my car!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- I didn't see you there.

- What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

You're parked

in a handicapped space.

- That's not a handicapped space.

- It is now!

Yes!

- What are you doing here?

- It's too late.

The account rep's authorizing

the CRM-1 1 4 right now.

Oh, man!

Wait a second.

He's not going back into the room.

- Where is he going?

- I'm gonna go down...

...and get this stamped and initialed.

You stall him.

Oh, I hate stalling!

- Catches my dust.

- Traffic congestion.

Hey, Spence, good to see

you again. How you been?

Well, thank you.

Will you excuse me for a moment?

- Of course.

- Yeah.

Say, Dick, I'm probably

gonna be arrested for DWI...

...so I won't be there

when you get out.

- Can we talk about this later?

- Look what I found in his car.

I don't wish to discuss this in front

of the branch employees, that's why.

Nobody likes to be the bad guy, Bill.

But here I am, chopping heads.

- I already verified--

- I understand the need for layoffs.

I'm concerned about morale.

I'm fine, really. Thank you

very much. Thank you.

- Madam, can I have my form back?

- What did you just call me?

I just don't wanna start

a bloodbath.

- Can I have my form back?

- Your "forn"?

- Is that how you spell your name?

- Why don't I just do this for you, sir.

My form.

You know, there is

one bright light here.

Spencer, the guy with the

stampy thing, he's top-drawer.

Thank you, sir.

Dick?

Dick Harper?

Jack McAllister.

- You just struck me.

- Look what the cat coughed up.

My gosh, you cut an impressive

swath, I'll tell you that.

- And you smell good too, you devil.

- Just hold on a second.

What do you say

we put all this behind us.

- Dick, what are you doing here?

- You know, working, mostly, here...

...temporarily, over in Transfers.

- Okay? Just drop it.

- I heard you left town.

Yeah, I was in Mexico for a while. But

mostly I've been working in Transfers.

- Oh, I see.

- Poppycocker.

I wanted to tell you that

you are my inspiration.

- There's no hard feelings?

- You did the best you could.

- That's all anybody could ask for.

- Decent of you to say.

Like my granddaddy

used to tell me--

Bye.

It was so great. We did it!

Mr. McAllister, please.

I don't know.

I think I made a mistake.

- Are you kidding? You were great!

- No, no, no.

Here we are, sir.

Days like this,

they make my hands shake.

- Know what I'm saying?

- I can imagine.

- What's he doing?

- I don't know. What is he doing?

We got one situation here,

now, fellas...

...which is that that number wrong.

That's incorrect right there.

- Did he see us?

- I have no idea.

I think he saw you.

I think he saw you.

You were sticking your big head

out there.

I gotta hit the road here, fellas,

so I'm gonna sign this for you...

- ... then you gonna change it.

- Yes.

Oh, man. You know,

this is really not the time.

This is really not the time.

Oh, God, he's coming.

- He's coming, hon.

- Okay.

Jack, hey. It was great seeing you.

- Where's Frank Bascombe?

- Come again?

You didn't think I'd catch that,

now, did you?

- What do you mean?

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Judd Apatow

Judd Apatow (; born December 6, 1967) is an American producer, writer, director, actor and stand-up comedian. He is the founder of Apatow Productions, through which he produced and developed the television series Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Girls, Love, and Crashing and directed the films The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), Knocked Up (2007), Funny People (2009), This Is 40 (2012), and Trainwreck (2015). Apatow's work has won numerous awards including a Primetime Emmy Award, a Hollywood Comedy Award, and an AFI Award for Bridesmaids (2011). His films have also been nominated for Grammy Awards, PGA Awards, Golden Globe Awards, and Academy Awards.His producing credits include Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006), Superbad (2007), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), Pineapple Express (2008), Get Him to the Greek (2010), Bridesmaids (2011), The Five-Year Engagement (2012), Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013), Begin Again (2014), Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016), and The Big Sick (2017). more…

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