Funky Monkey Page #3

He's trying to rent our apartment.

And he doesn't have any pets.

That's right. I don't have any--

What are you doing?

Somebody stop them!

I'll take care of this.

-Ten bucks to rent your skateboard.

-For 20, it's yours.

I'll take it.

Hey, man. Where's my board?

-I'll be right back!

-Cool!

Well, so much for a low profile, huh?

You were awesome on that board.

Hey, you don't think your mom

saw Clemens, did she?

No, she was busy watching you.

I think you impressed her with

that Tony Hawk stunt.

-What?

-You got the apartment.

All right.

Give him five, Clemens. All right.

Let's get rid of this bag. I don't think

it's really your color.

/The two would-be bandits...

/... were caught in the act

by a Good Samaritan...

/... whose identity remains unknown.

/This footage was captured

by an amateur photographer.

Do you recognize the Good Samaritan?

-McCall.

-Y eah.

I mean, hey, we can say

we knew him when, huh? TV star.

When and where

was this footage taken?

Yesterday, at a mall in San Diego.

San Diego. That's perfect.

That's where Dr. Spleen's lab is,

so all we have to do...

...is tell McCall to drop the chimp off

at the lab, and then--

He's not on our side anymore.

I want you to go down there, find him...

...and get me that chimp.

Take whatever measures are necessary.

Don't worry, sir.

-We're all business.

-Yeah.

While we're there, you want us

to grab you a souvenir?

Maybe a Shamu ashtray,

a snow globe, you turn it over--

-That's it.

-You should run.

Yeah.

Let's try this.

It's encrypted.

Hey. Let's ask Mikey.

Kids know everything about computers.

Listen, Clemens, I don't like lying

and hiding you from Megan...

...but until I figure out what Flick has

in store for you, I don't have any choice.

So I think we should set up

some ground rules, huh?

First of all, you gotta lay low.

You gotta be cool.

No banana peels in the bed.

And if you shed, you gotta vacuum it up.

And no matter what,

you do not leave this room.

You stay here

and you do not leave this room.

Good. I'll be back in an hour.

Okay, guys, let's go over this

one more time. It's simple.

It's length times width, see?

So if we know how long a football

field is and how wide it is...

-...we can determine...?

-What?

-A guess?

-Yeah, squirt...

...how many yards I need to be all-state.

/Go, Friars.

All right. That's good for now.

-Okay, Willy, lower your shoulder.

-All right, over here.

-Where do you think you' re going?

-Bang into those things.

You know, we really gotta work

on your communication skills.

Come on. When I say "Stay in the

house," that means stay in the house.

-Hey, slugger, you all right?

-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

You sure? I don't want you damaging

those tutoring brain cells.

Hey, look, there's Michael.

Hey, the one on the right,

isn't that Alec McCall?

Yeah. You know him?

He's one of the best running backs

to come out of Southern California.

-Hope we're not interrupting.

-No.

Thought we'd check out practice.

J.T. "Whooping" Crane, right?

-"Whooping"?

-Good to see you.

It's an old nickname.

-This is my friend Clemens.

-Hello.

What's with you guys?

You've never been to a zoo?

Teams Whooping Crane coached

were tough.

Nobody calls me Whooping Crane

anymore.

I bet when the team finds out,

they will.

-Take off.

-I'll go run those plays we worked up.

-How's the team?

-I don't beat St. Dominic's this year...

...I can hear myself saying,

"You want fries with that order? "

You ever been timed in the 40?

-How about I run a long way and you....

-I throw it to you?

-Yeah.

-Oh, sure, whatever.

Hey, isn't that Michael Dean?

What's he doing playing football?

Maybe he's the new mascot.

As soon as that little pissant Dean

gets near the ball, gang-tackle him.

-How hard?

-Hard enough to send the little freak...

...back to chess club. All right?

Down, set. Hut, hut.

What a loser.

Oh, Michael.

-I don't get girls.

-Yeah? Well, wait till you get older.

I thought she'd like me better

if I was on the team.

But I guess wearing a uniform isn't good

enough. I have to be a good player too.

Let me ask you something, Miguel.

Why do you like Christina?

Why? I don't know.

Because she's smart and pretty.

And she laughs at my jokes.

She's not like the other girls.

-She notices people.

-Did you ever think that...

...maybe she likes you

for the same reason?

What are you saying?

Well, just be yourself. You're a great kid.

I don't know how, though.

I'm afraid to talk to her.

Well, show initiative. Women like it

when men show initiative.

Right, Clemens? Clemens.

We're having a heart-to-heart.

Show courtesy.

Clemens, please, turn it down.

-He really listens to you.

-We understand each other.

Clemens and me, we're like

Siamese chimps. Get it?

You mean to tell me Christina

actually laughs at your jokes?

Drummond. We've had a break

on the whereabouts of McCall.

A check drawn from McCall's

account cleared this morning.

-Oh, really?

-Y es, it was written to a Megan Dean.

That's great, sir. Y eah, that's great.

I'll just grab a pen and write that down.

What is all that noise?

-Are you two slacking off?

-Of course not, sir.

We're following a lead

at the railroad tracks.

Would you please get a pen and make

sure you write down this address.

-Okay, yeah--

/-619 Woodstock Street. San Diego.

I' m writing it down now, sir.

-ls this awesome or what?

-Shut up!

-Did you tell me to shut up?

-I was talking to Peters.

Good. Now, did you write it down?

I got it, sir. I got it.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go. It's very

dangerous here. Yeah, I got it. Bye.

-ls it gonna come off?

-ldiots.

Do it again!

Down. Set. Hike.

Catch.

Good throw.

Go long.

Yeah, up the tree. Ready?

Yeah, go longer.

Yeah. That's right, you the chimp.

Dang, St. Francis could use you

as a wide receiver.

Clemens, it's her.

Hey, ladies.

-That's the chimp from football.

-Yeah, this is Clemens.

Clemens, this is Christina,

Laura and Katie.

Hey.

-Hey.

-We'll pass on the chimp cooties.

Wow, a chimp. Is he yours?

-A friend's. I'm chimp-sitting for him.

-Hey, Chris, let's go.

-I'll catch up.

-Okay.

Wow, a chimp. That must be really cool.

My mom won't let me have a pet...

...till we find my hamster.

He got loose when I was 6.

-Are you going to the Halloween party?

-I don't know. I've got a test next week.

With football and everything,

I haven't had much time to study.

-Come on, the party will be fun.

-Look.

Maybe if you're not going

with anybody to the party...

...we can maybe hang out together.

Maybe.

-Well, that all depends.

-On what?

On if you bring Clemens

as our chaperone.

You've got it.

-So how do you like playing football?

-Oh, it's-- It's cool.

Is the coach gonna let you play

in the big game?

Well....

-He is?

-Yeah. I guess I am.

Michael, that's great. I guess I'll be

on the sidelines cheering you on.

-Great.

-Christina.

I guess I better go. See you

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