Getting Played Page #6

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You need to look good. Why?

Because when you look good,

you feel good.

Wear some damn makeup.

I know I got to wear makeup,

because without makeup...

I look exactly like Wesley Snipes.

Wear some makeup.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Look at the white people going,

"I knew I knew her.

Either she was in Blade, or..."

Ha ha!

Ladies...

we need to stop

playing games with our love.

Y'all know what I'm talking about.

Y'all know what game I'm talking about.

You go out with a good man.

He a decent man.

You done ate up

all the steak and lobster.

Then when it's time to have sex...

you want to talk about Jesus

and the direction of your life.

You's a trick-ass b*tch.

You know why?

Because you're messing it up...

for decent hos like myself.

See, when a man get his feelings hurt,

he don't change for the better.

He change for the worse...

so when I go out with him,

now he's a bitter bastard.

Now I can barely get...

a Happy Meal and Snicker bar

out this bitter bastard...

and it's all your fault.

It's not right.

Stop messing with your man

while he watching TV.

Give your man his space.

When your man is watching TV,

fix him some snacks and get out the way.

Don't try to talk to your man

while he watching TV.

Never ask your man this question...

"What you thinking 'bout?"

You know why? He can't tell you

what he thinking about...

when you say,

"What you thinkin' 'bout?"

Because you know

what he want to say?

"I was thinking

you need to get your ass...

"out of the front of the damn TV

while I'm trying to watch the game...

"but I can't say that to you...

"because I'm going to want

to have sex with you...

in about twenty minutes

when the game go off."

Owning a restaurant, that's exciting.

Not always.

Dealing with the staff...

the chef, waiters,

the busboys, bartenders.

- Quality is everything.

- Mmm.

The restaurant business

is very competitive.

Sounds like a lot of responsibility.

You must be good at it.

I am...

but it's no longer my real passion.

So, what is Lauren's real passion?

I recently became involved

with the homeless.

You know, fundraising,

building awareness.

When I think of people going hungry,

it breaks my heart.

Whew.

I've done well for myself,

and I want to give something back.

That reminds me.

I have some friends...

who volunteer

at the mission downtown...

and they hand out meals.

They're out there helping out.

How about you and I go down there

together so you can meet them?

I'd love to.

What's wrong?

Ohh. I may have had

one drink too many. Mmm.

Headache?

A little.

Ooh. You wouldn't be disappointed

if we made it an early night?

No! I mean, it's just that...

I'm having

such a wonderful time tonight.

Get me some aspirin... extra strength.

I really don't want you to go.

You don't?

I thought we were,

you know, connecting.

Was I wrong?

No, no, no, not at all.

Mmm.

Oh, yeah.

Ah.

Oh, that feels great.

Mmm, mmm.

Mmm.

How's the headache?

What headache?

Ha ha.

God, that feels good.

I know.

You are so tense.

- Am I?

- Yeah.

You're all knotted up.

Mmm.

You must have

a lot of stress in your life.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Oh, you poor baby.

I want you to know that

I don't normally do this on a first date.

Thank you.

Now, what about your back?

Mmm. Yeah, it's broke, it's broke.

It's... It's really broke.

Do you mind if I take this off?

No. I mean, if you must.

I'll be right back.

Why don't you take that shirt off?

- Ah.

- For the massage.

Right, right.

Whew.

OK, let's see what's goin' on.

Ha ha ha!

Uh-huh. Yeah.

# Come on #

# Hey there, sugar darlin' #

# Let me tell you somethin' #

# Girl, I've been tryin' to say, now #

# You look so sweet #

# And you're so doggone fine #

# I just can't get you out of my mind... #

Oh! Ha ha ha!

Ohh.

Whoo.

Mmm.

Ohh. You know what?

You really have the touch.

Heh heh.

I have an idea.

You want me to strip for you?

Why don't I?

That works for me.

Heh heh heh.

Ahh.

Mm-mm-mmm.

# Groove me, baby #

OK. Ohh, yeah.

# Oh, yeah, now, now, darlin' #

# Uhh, come on, come on #

# Hey! Uhh! #

Mm-mm-mmm.

Oww.

Ha ha ha!

Mm.

# Here's some good, good lovin' #

Mm. All right, woman. Mm!

Mm-mm-mmm.

I want to make love to you.

OK.

# You don't need no company #

- Ha!

- Ha!

# No other man, no other girl #

What's that?

I hope you don't mind.

I love taping it.

Taping it?

Hold up. Hold... Hold... Hold...

I've never done that before.

Oh. I really get off on it.

Look, Lauren, I'm really shy, all right?

I find it very arousing...

like an aphrodisiac.

To be honest,

I'd rather this be off-camera.

You understand?

Please?

Well...

there's a first time for everything.

I should be open

to new experiences, right?

Yes! You won't regret it.

- Well, turn the damn thing on.

- Whoo!

- Ha ha ha!

- Ohh.

Heh heh heh.

- I must be dreamin'.

- Mm-hmm.

Come on, baby.

Ha ha ha! Whoo!

# Come on, come on #

Ohh!

# Groove me, baby #

# Groove me, baby #

I'll be right back.

Lauren's eye in the sky.

Gotta have security.

So, what's up?

My VCR at home is broken,

so this is a world premiere.

- So, how was it?

- Be patient.

No, I meant did you...

Let's just say if this was a movie...

it would be in the adult section

of the video store.

- Heh heh.

- Really?

This is something

I like to call Girl Gone Wild.

OK, ladies. Ready?

Here it goes.

Clear! You scream it!

H-o-r-e!

What the hell's this?

Something's wrong.

I'm confused.

Um... which one is you? Hmm?

What's up with this tape?

I've got two words, honey... no carbs.

Well, maybe you switched it

with a tape at home?

I only have one tape, Emily.

OK.

Lauren, was there a reason...

that you wanted us to watch

The Jerry Springer Show?

The camera was fine. I don't...

I just don't understand this.

The light was on, he was naked.

What was your favorite rule

again, huh?

Visual proof?

- This is not fair.

- Honey, you lost.

- I did not lose!

- Yes, you did.

We did it. Twice!

- Twice?

- Twice?

Well, just to make sure.

Well, did you tape over it or something?

No, no. I made sure that it was...

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

OK, you know what?

I think we should forget

about the contest.

What?

Now?

After what I've been through?

What about what I've been through?

- What about me?

- What about you?

- You lost.

- You lost, too!

- So?

- So?

Ladies!

We're fighting... about what?

Hmm. I just don't get it.

No, on our show...

There's a "W" there.

I'm sorry, Jerry.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

I knew it was just a matter of time

before I met bachelorette number three.

And there she was.

Do you mind if I have a seat?

Oh, no. That's fine.

Do you know what time it is?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

# I made a wish #

# On a shooting star... #

- Ha ha.

- Heh.

So, what are you reading?

- Ha ha ha ha!

- Ha ha!

- Whoo!

- Yeah.

- Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

- My friends think I'm too nice.

I'm sure you are.

Heh. Well, I don't know.

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