Ghost Team One Page #6

Water and sleep.

Billy, it's time for water and sleep.

Let's have a party!

Hey, come on, man,

you can't leave the f***ing booze.

Chuck is gonna kill us.

He's not ready for open containers.

Suck on my dick, Chuck.

- Hey!

- What?

- Check this sh*t out.

- What is it?

- It's a f***ing pipe.

- What kind of pipe?

They must have left this sh*t

when we had our party.

I feel like this could be like kush.

- No, like, hash.

- It's kush.

- Like hash.

- It's hash!

- Or opium.

- It's good.

It's opium. It's opium, that's what it is.

Yeah, I f***ing...

They f***ing...

Sh*t, Serge, f***ing suck that sh*t.

Godly, you'd be a great girl.

- What do you know about...

- It heals your lungs.

- What do you know about opium?

- I read it.

Listen to me, opium comes from Asia.

And the Japanese said, "Opium. "

And that's how they came up

with the name,

but it really comes from Papote,

that's the name of the plant.

- Papote?

- And it was grown in Asia

and that's where it comes from.

Billy knows.

Right, Billy? His grandpa found it.

That makes no sense.

And it's kind of racist to Billy

that you said that.

Is it racist that

I say weed was founded in Jamaica,

because it was? No, it's not.

That actually is pretty, pretty racist.

No, it's not. It's true.

It can't be racist if it's true.

- I'm gonna go to bed, dude.

- No, you're not.

Stop it. We're gonna call a prostitute.

I wanna stick my penis in a melon.

Wait a minute!

We got a hooker at the crib, bro.

We got Lady Azalea-lou-la.

Lady Azalea-le-le.

I've got $7, Lady Azalea,

for your services

because my cock's about to burst.

Billy, I'm going to bed.

You're gonna blow each other.

- Slow down with that light.

- You're gonna blow...

You're gonna blow each other.

And what if we do?

I love whipped cream on my pizza.

Hey, Becky. I'm so sorry

for everything that happened.

I didn't mean it.

That's why I'm freaking out,

because I'm realizing that I love you.

So I think that

we should, you know, be together.

Can you come? Yeah?

I'll be waiting for you upstairs.

Godly.

What was I eating?

Go back to sleep.

Oh, sweet.

Oh, my God!

- What are you doing?

- What the f***?

Becky, what the f***?

- Who are you f***ing?

- I don't know, it just...

It was here all of a sudden,

then you came in and it disappeared.

I thought it was you!

- Did you f*** the ghost?

- No!

- No, no, no. Stop, no...

- What happened?

- No, no, no.

- Did you just f*** a ghost?

No! Ghosts aren't real, okay?

You just put your dick in a dead thing.

- Becky, please.

- This has gotten too weird. I'm out.

- No. This is f***ed up sh*t.

- Just stay with me, please.

Just stay with me. Just...

- Becky, just stay with me.

- No. No, no.

Becky, please,

stay with me for just one second.

- Becky!

- F*** you, Brad.

Come on.

Yep, that's... That's officially Brad

f***ing a ghost, everybody.

You know what I think we should do?

We should probably

just retrace our steps

to find out how we got there.

Right? 'Cause I think the first thing

you said was you wanted to

pay the ghost to have sex, right?

- No, I don't remember that.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You said that.

You were sitting on the couch.

No. No, that's not...

I don't know what you're talking about.

No, because if you're not sure,

we could go back to the footage.

No, no, that's fine.

Are you sure?

'Cause maybe Fernanda wanted...

Fernanda, I think you might

wanna take a look at it, right?

- Yeah, sure, maybe.

- Yeah, let's... Let's do it.

This isn't f***ing funny anymore,

Serge. All right? Can you stop?

Fernanda would benefit

from figuring out

what you were saying at the time

and maybe that could lead to...

I was saying a lot of things, all right?

- I'm just always just saying, so...

- Okay, Brad,

you shouldn't feel bad about it.

You should consider yourself lucky.

Why, Fernanda?

Because I just f***ed a ghost.

It's sexy.

I actually, I wouldn't call it sexy.

I don't think that's the right...

I think it's erotic.

It's like we're all virgins

and you're the man.

I wouldn't say I'm a virgin

as much as I would say

I never had sex with a ghost.

I know but, you know...

Maybe one day you will,

and I just was selected by the entity.

Can I interview you or...

Can I...

I would love to have

an interview with you.

I mean, you know, if that's what...

If that's what we need to do.

I mean, it's kind...

- It was kind of scary, you know?

- Yeah, I bet.

Could we do it without...

Could we do it without you?

It's kind of personal, Serge.

- Is it?

- And you're just always,

you know,

making jokes out of stuff, so...

- Do you mind?

- I'm just,

I'm thinking before I start...

Can you please, Serge?

This is personal, man.

That's cool, that works.

I'm sorry, Brad.

Brad.

How do you feel?

I mean, was this something that

you always wanted to have

as an experience?

I guess so.

Before you went to bed,

you were feeling sad, happy, horny?

I was... I was tired.

That's why I fell asleep, but...

I guess I was a little bit horny.

- You're a very horny man.

- Yes.

I think she sensed

when there's lust around,

when there's this sexual charge.

Right?

See, that night that there was the party,

there was sex around.

And, you know,

she showed up with Sergio.

The other day at the sance when

I was having these weird feelings

towards Sergio,

and then that happened,

and then you...

You took it to the next level.

Are you sexually charged now?

Do you feel sexually charged?

- Yeah.

- Are you ready for a test, maybe?

If you want, we can test her?

Yeah. I mean,

I'm feeling pretty, you know, charged up.

Okay, good.

Brad.

Touch it.

Brad!

Okay, it's not working.

- What do you mean?

- It's not working.

What do you mean "it's not working"?

Well, it's... Obviously,

nothing's happening.

You got to...

You know, you got to give it some time.

Maybe I just have to really

pretend I like you.

Okay.

Maybe I just have to be, like, into you.

I'll try, okay.

Okay, just turn around, turn around.

Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait.

Okay. I like you so much.

You turn me on. Yes.

- Freaking crazy, Brad!

- I was just...

- You're biting me!

- I'm not biting you!

- That hurts.

- Okay, okay, just one more time.

Goodness sakes.

God damn it!

- Like, you...

- Could we please just...

Do you just wanna

stick everything down...

What the hell are you guys doing?

Serge!

- I'm so happy you're here.

- Are you?

- I think I felt something, yes.

- 'Cause it seems like...

Yes.

Yes.

That's really working. You're so...

Just keep kissing me.

Oh, my God! This is so cool, Serge.

Go with it. Go with it.

What's happening?

- It feels good.

- I'm just gonna go.

No, no, no, no, no.

She's liking it, Serge.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

She's coming. Yes.

- What happened?

- Nothing.

- Did you just come in your pants, bro?

- I'm gonna go.

- Serge? Serge?

- Get away. Get away.

Serge?

Serge? Please, just don't go yet.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes