Gigantic Page #3

- Stop it.

What's up in the rat world?

Oh ... depression, sleep deprivation,

test, the usual.

What the f*** is that?

This, is a sports drink.

I'm hungover.

How you doin' man? -

- Ahh, well ...

I got a problem.

Yeah? What's going on?

I had sex with this girl in the back

of her father's station wagon the other day.

Is it a sting when you pee

kinda problem?

No.

Expound.

Well ...

now what?

Mmm ... well now there are 2 possible

reactions to this scenario.

You either wanna bang it home again

or you never wanna see her for the rest of your life.

Which is it?

Bang it home?

Why are you saying it

like it's a question?

Bang it home.

Yeah. There you go.

Damn straight bang it home.

Good job.

Who is this girl?

She came into the store the other day,

and her dad bought a bed.

God bless capitalism.

So when's the next bang-bang gonna happen?

I don't know.

You like her?

You like her like her?

I don't know.

You think it's possible that the rat

that stopped swimming was just tired

And taking a little break?

Unlikely.

These calculations are based

on months of testing, so ...

The same rat that stopped swimming again and again

is probably more than just a little tired.

How's the mattress business?

I should get there.

- Okay.

Hey you ...

should ask Missy out.

Can't. Scared.

Good luck.

- Mmm ... you too.

Hey, you gotta swim

if you wanna bang it home.

That's reality.

Remember that.

I will.

What's our first meal?

- Nothing.

Ah, c'mon,

I'm starving.

Nah, it's better on an empty stomach.

It's true.

Crock. It's not. Yeah well I'm hungry

I'm gonna grab somethin' to eat. Brian you want somethin'?

No, I'm alright.

Excuse me, shaman.

Dad, you need some help?

Nope, I've got it.

When are the shrooms ready?

Oh no no no ...

best to let it steep a while.

Talked to a local, he said there were alot

uh ahead of the woods

And black trumpets south side of Temper

lower elevations than last year.

You bringing that?

Yup.

Might be some pheasant.

- A pheasant with a death wish?

That's tradition. He brings a gun

He doesn't use the gun.

He throws up.

Thanks dad.

Sometimes ... it takes mushrooms

to find mushrooms

Prepare your pouches

for the poisoning.

Well, my hand is starting to look a bit

like an eagle's claw.

So I think it's time to pack our stuffs.

Any news from China?

Uhm, not really.

Same stuff, I'm on the list ...

A couple of years ...

could be earlier.

Yeah, well, listen,

my friend Jin Ho

Very powerful businessman,

Right here in the States

Owns an airline company, tobacco interests,

some crap like that

And uh, he might, he might

be able to help you.

Well, I think he's Korean, dad

if that's what you mean.

Yes, yes ...

he's a marvelous Korean!!

Of no help to you.

Yeah, well ...

I hope it happens.

Be nice to have some

new life in this family.

Hope you get the kid, yea.

I think you'd be great at it.

You think so?

- I do, I do ....

You got what it takes

What does it take?

Well ...

I haven't the foggiest idea,

to be truthful ... but ...

Listen ...

Here we are, walking together

in the woods

And if you can aspire

to be walking in the woods with your kids

After they've made it as far

as we've made it ... then ...

I think you've done the right thing.

That makes sense.

It makes sense.

Not really.

But ...

I think you understand me ...

I do.

Dad!

What the f***?!

Dad.

Where the f*** did it come from?

Are you alright?

Yeah yeah, I'm the war generation

When we hear shots,

we get down.

You guys are running

around like targets.

You sure you're okay?

- Yeah yeah I'm fine.

Looks like a tiny calibre bullet.

Looks like a .22.

Some hunter probably shot one

across our bow.

Yeah, what's he hunting?

Squirrel?

He has a point.

There shouldn't be anyone hunting right now.

There's 2 ways we can go here

we can hunt the f***er down ... sorry ...

Or we can make our way back.

Oysters.

Huh ...

Check them golden oysters!

Look at those beauties.

Hey, what we gonna do about

the long gun?

Nothing, nothing.

We got our mushrooms, go back to our cabins

and call it a day.

Then later, I'll take our bounty after hours,

head back into town

And have them cook us

a proper meal.

Ah, Bonjour mes amis.

Uh, you need any help?

Brian, come to the kitchen.

I'd love to help.

What's he sayin'?

I'm going to help Jacques with the dinner

he thinks dad's a murderer in the kitchen.

What, everybody speaks French but me?

Jacques,

can we speak in English?

Ahh, I get carried away sometimes.

Whatever that boy wants,

he'll figure it out at some point.

And you've got 15 years on both of ya.

You forget what you were like

when you were his age?

I was finishing my residency

when I was his age.

Yeah, I was in Russia

buying oil tankers.

Yup, you look good.

Very strong.

Stronger than I have ever seen you.

And I have seen you since you were a little uh ...

uh ..."pizza".

Uh, you mean piss-ant?

Yeah yeah "piss-ant".

"Piss-ant".

Thanks.

- You're welcome.

Well, that's for you Jacques, thanks for the hospitality

and for the Frenchness.

Thank you for the champignon

and for being an absurd American.

So, how will you get home?

Brian.

I've got it.

Are you okay to drive?

- He doesn't drink.

No.

I just don't drink 3 bottles of wine

on my own.

Jacques, you fabulous Frenchman!

Thank you for suffering us.

Been my pleasure.

And don't forget to come back soon, huh?

Merci monsieur

I don't kiss like that.

You crazy Americans.

- No kidding.

That means wait.

Thanks dad.

Langostas. You put them in the pot

you boil them and you make a bisque.

Watch your step.

Lobsters, lobsters, lobsters,

lobsters, lobsters ...

Ohh ... Aww,

motherf***er!

Whoa whoa whoa ... jailbreak huh?

Brian!

Is this a rueful act or a mistake?

Are you trying to free these things?

No!

I got a leg cramp.

I see.

What are you doing here?

Does it matter.

- Why?

I'm with my Japanese guys doing business.

Does my breath stink?

Yes.

- Damn.

Listen, I was talking to the big guy, Kanagae

and he's got a brother who plays canasta

With some Chinese diplomats.

Would that interest you?

What are you talking about?

Come over here.

Ohh, my ass is in love with this bed.

- Yeah, this is the nicest one of the bunch.

Yeah, good.

Anyway, so I talked to this guy Kanagae,

and he claims ... y'know these people?

Yeah, they're customers.

They're good?

They're cool.

He thinks he can get a healthy Chinese baby

on the black market for like 45,000 US.

What?

- Chinese. Like you want.

He's got these kind of connections.

He's an oil man.

Really?

- So what do you think?

The black market?

- Yeah.

It sounds kinda shady.

Does it?

Or does it sound awesome?!

Right.

It sounds like a bad idea.

Ok.

Y'know, it's ...

My little contribution, but um ...

Parallel paths we pursue that way that's not working

right now and I'll keep on going after my thing.

We'll see who wins.

Ok.

- Ok.

Hey, you mind if I crash here

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes