Gigli Page #6

to James Dorf... Are you listening?

- Yeah.

- Good.

To James Dorf

at the U.S. Courthouse on Spring Street.

Hold on one second. Go in the other room.

Go in the other room in the back.

Go in the back.

I'm talking on the phone. Go in the back.

What do you mean?

How do I send his thumb?

You cut it the f*** off.

You take it to Boxes 'R' Us...

or whatever it is.

You put the appropriate postage on it...

and that's how you send it.

Send it express next-day delivery.

Make sure you kindly refrain from providing

a return address, you f***ing dummy.

I mean...

You want me to cut his thumb off?

It's enough already. Put the clam-licker on.

Hold on. Wait a minute.

What about, like, the bleeding and the...

I can't believe I'm talking to a professional.

I'll send people to help you,

they'll take your thumb, too.

- I'm not saying that.

- I don't like the habit of hiring you...

and then having to hire someone

to make sure you do your job right.

Do your f***ing job right, you hear me?

I'm getting tired of this.

- Larry.

- What?

Can I stay here with you?

No.

- Time for you to go to bed anyways.

- I don't want to go to bed.

- Lf I tell you to go to bed, go to bed.

- I don't want to go to bed, though.

"New. Our best Charmin ever.

"Charmin Ultra Double Roll.

"Twice as many sheets

as regular Charmin Ultra.

"Unscented bathroom tissue.

170 square feet.

"4.5 inches by 4.0 inches."

And they got it in centimeters or whatever.

It's the same sh*t on the back. All right?

- Good night.

- Good night, Larry.

- Yeah.

- Thank you very much.

What are your friends like?

- I don't really have friends.

- Who do you hang out with?

Nobody.

Why do I think you're not exaggerating?

I just keep to myself.

I go about my business, you know.

Do my work.

A charming, loveable guy like yourself?

You should get out more.

I'm sure there's a ton of straight women

who you could make very happy.

Louis wants us to cut the kid's thumb off.

I'd like to give shouts to all my homies.

Mrs. Friedman. Lily.

Mr. Mossman

and the man he plays cards with.

Forgot his name.

And all my peeps at Wilshire Adult Care.

Everybody in the cafeteria. Big ups!

What's up to my man Larry. And Ricki.

Yo, yo, yo. Peace, G.

And the rec room.

I got neighbors, you know.

Dgame sabrosa.

- What's that?

- It's "espaol".

What does it mean?

I don't know.

See that?

Don't be a playa hater, G.

- Yeah?

- Who the f*** are you?

Who the f*** are you?

Excuse me.

What a shithole!

- Lady, I think you're in the wrong place.

- You are in the wrong place.

All right? You're in the wrong place.

You have no idea.

And who the f*** are you?

- You're the f*** are you.

- What?

What are you doing here?

- I'm stalking you.

- Wait, you know her?

First of all,

do not say my name in this room. All right?

Second of all, you're out of line.

This is a professional situation

and you have no right to intrude.

What kind of professional situation?

I can't believe this.

A f***ing man?

Okay. I really thought

this was all about Sharon.

- Are you telling people where we are?

- Mind your own business.

- Shut the f*** up.

- Blow me.

Listen, both of you shut up.

Look, I haven't told anybody where we are.

And, Robin...

this is a professional situation.

Our problems

have nothing to do with Sharon...

and they have nothing to do with him.

- I want you to leave right now! Please.

- No!

I'm not leaving, he's leaving.

What? Who the f*** do you think you are?

- I f***ing live here. I'm not going anywhere.

- Yeah?

Neither am I. Going to be all there is to that.

- Why are you doing this?

- What if I throw you out?

What if I roundhouse you upside

your fat head and collapse your skull.

- I don't know. Give it a shot.

- Don't. She knows how to do that stuff.

- Don't be macho.

- I don't give a f***.

This isn't lesbian talk-circle time.

We got something to do.

- You're getting the f*** out. Got it?

- I mean, this? You need this?

You need a little freedom or something?

You want to dabble? We can all f***.

We can all have sex together, that's fine.

What do you say, Hot Rocks?

- Would you like it?

- You're out of your mind.

- You know you want it.

- Our situation has nothing to do with him.

It's over.

- It's not him. It's us, honey.

- Right, it's not you, it's her. Get the...

Just shut up for one second! God! F***!

This has nothing to do with him.

- It's just, we're over.

- No, we're not over.

We'll set up together, the three of us,

till you get this out of your system.

- Baby, you're not hearing me.

- I'm f***ing hearing you. Okay?

God damn it!

See, I'm going to kill myself right now

and you care...

- That's a nice girl.

- Shut the f*** up, all right!

- What the f*** is that?

- What did you...

No.

- What did you do?

- Is this hot enough for you?

- Get away.

- You want some?

Get away. What's wrong with you?

- Oh, my God.

- What the f*** is this?

Lady, you need some Band-Aids.

This must be Mental-f***ing-lllness Week.

That woman is f***ing beautiful.

Yes.

She's like the ones at the Baywatch.

They make my penis sneeze.

You got a good sense of humor,

you know that?

God bless you.

- Thank you.

- No, not you, stupid.

When my penis sneezes,

I say, "God bless you.

"God bless you, penis."

She's going to be okay.

What a relief.

Brian, would you excuse us?

I want to talk to Larry for a minute. Okay?

- You'll be all right in the car?

- Yeah.

Okay, good.

I just...

I got to tell you,

I'm not up for this thumb deal.

I say we don't do it.

You trying to test me?

Is that it? You wanna see

if I'm gonna do what I'm supposed to do?

No.

So, what are you,

a contractor with a conscience?

Look, I've done some bad things...

but I didn't sign on to this

to be a brutal street thug.

Because, as far as I'm concerned,

that's not the job I took.

How would you get around it?

I'd work it out.

But first I got to know, are you with me?

Sure.

Sure or yes?

- That's the same thing.

- No, it's not the same thing.

See, if I were to ask you to move my couch

for me you'd probably say, "Sure."

But if I were to ask you

to look deep into my eyes...

and tell me from the bottom of your heart...

if it would give you great pleasure

if I were to suck your cock for 12 hours...

if I may be presumptuous,

you'd probably say, "Yes."

See, it just implies

a different level of commitment.

Ask me the question again.

Okay. Are you with me?

Yes.

Yeah? Good.

Isn't this B level?

Isn't this B level?

This is D level. You shouldn't be here.

I'm looking for B level.

This is a D level and no one is allowed here.

You need to go back to B level.

Hold on.

Because you're confusing me, okay?

You're confusing me.

Let's just start from the beginning.

If this isn't B...

Oh, my God.

- I am so sorry.

- That's okay.

Just soak that in cold water

and it'll come right out, okay?

I promise you. Yes. No, it will.

The thing is, the reason I'm here

is they told me to go around the corner...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes