Gigli Page #8

do not regard the thumb,

technically, to be a finger?

Curious for myself, I turned to Louis here...

who with his newfound dictionary skills

looked it up for me.

- You know what it said?

- No.

Tell him what it said, Louis.

It said, quote:

"The short, thick, inner digit of the hand

next to the forefinger." Unquote.

Now it said, "digit," not "finger."

So I still don't really know, technically,

if it's considered a finger or not.

- Right?

- Right.

Right. Look at him. I love him.

I love this guy. He eats no matter what.

I love you, Louis.

What's this?

What is this? Louis.

I've been subpoenaed.

I can't be consorting with armed felons.

A little consideration, please.

Besides, you think something like this

is necessary...

anyway, to intimidate people?

I say intimidation comes from within.

There are a multitude of qualities

an individual can possess...

that make them intimidating.

Not only this, this is the outside.

Then there's the inside.

But you know

what's the most intimidating quality?

Not that you asked.

But the absolutely most intimidating

in my opinion?

When an individual just doesn't give a sh*t.

- Louis, you want to go to medical school?

- Medical school?

Yes!

Students there

can always use something to learn on.

I feel like I'm floating.

I feel...

released.

I don't give a sh*t.

I don't.

I have no compunctions...

none whatsoever.

And I am very concerned...

about the way things have turned out here.

How was the bleeding?

The bleeding?

No, not him.

The retard, when you cut his thumb off.

Louis told me you were concerned.

Bleeding was fine.

Fine?

It was all right.

Okay. Good.

I didn't need your help, you know.

I could have beaten these charges.

What were you thinking?

You were gonna extort a federal prosecutor.

You thought you could say:

"Kidnapped your little brother,

drop all charges," and the guy'd roll over?

You didn't think

all hell wouldn't break loose?

You didn't think every f***ing fed...

wouldn't drop what they were doing...

and dive in to protect one of their own?

What do you morons think...

this is Little Italy?

Wake up!

This is the twenty-f***ing-first century!

So now...

things are bad.

And whether you wanna call a thumb...

a finger or a digit...

for the sake of this discussion,

it doesn't really matter.

You know why?

Because whatever you choose to call it...

a thumb...

has a fingerprint...

and the one you sent...

had the wrong f***ing one.

- Mr. Starkman...

- I know my f***ing name...

you piece of sh*t!

You don't try to extort...

a federal f***ing prosecutor!

And if you do...

you don't f*** around!

F*** this.

Cutting off his thumb was a stupid order.

We would have been derelict

in our responsibilities if we had followed it.

Hello.

How long could we have kept below radar...

with a thumbless, bleeding half-wit?

You see, sometimes...

one has to use

their professional prerogative...

to override a dumb request.

With all due respect...

even at this point if you were to ask us...

to pursue a course of action that would be...

let's say, contrary to your best interests...

then as awkward as it might be...

we would have to take exception.

Aside from those of us in this room...

there's only one person, really,

that can link you to this fuckup.

And I feel that we should...

rectify that problem as soon as we can.

I think I'd much prefer just to...

you know...

end it right here.

And that would be

your professional prerogative.

If you think that having

that kid picked up by the authorities...

and telling them all about being kidnapped

in an attempt to save your ass makes sense.

If you think that's the best tactic

to keep you out of jail.

If you think that's any less dumb

than asking to have his finger cut off...

well, then that would be

the thing that you should do.

But if you don't...

then let us take the thorn out of your side.

Let us make sure that kid will never be

able to testify against anybody.

And if after that you're still not happy...

then we can all talk again.

- You were kidding, right?

- What do you think?

We'll take Brian back

to where you found him and get out of here.

Are we going to the Baywatch now?

No, we can't go to the Baywatch now.

Take you later.

Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the thing.

Maybe this is a sign coming from nowhere,

from out of the blue...

just telling me it's time. It's time to get out.

It's time to do it.

When I'm alone in my room

Sometimes I stare at the wall

and in the back of my mind

I hear my conscience call

telling me I need a girl

who's as sweet as a dove

For the first time in my life I see

I need love

So if you know who you are

why don't you make yourself seen

take a chance with my love

you'll find out what I mean

I need love

I need love

Let me ask you something.

You got a girlfriend?

No, I don't.

Let me do something for you.

You know, make up for all the problems

I caused you.

Because I see you're a little nervous

around women. Right?

Let me tell you something. You got

no reason to be shy. There's no magic to it.

Let me tell you this thing that I heard,

and I'm starting to believe that it's true.

You know?

It's that the thing

you're most afraid of in life...

if you do it, if you step up,

good things will happen.

You see a girl that you like

that you're scared to talk to...

bro, step up.

Go up to her and say:

"Hi, how are you today?

Nice weather we're having."

Take it from there,

wherever the conversation goes. You try it.

Try it with me. Practice. Go ahead.

Hello, how are you today?

Try it with me. Go ahead. Just say it.

Hello, how are you today?

Come on, Brian. Hello.

How are you today?

"How are you today?"

Nice weather we're having.

"Nice weather we're having."

There you go. You see how he did it?

It's because you stepped up, Brian.

If you're afraid, step up and good things

start to happen. Am I right?

- I stepped up.

- Step it up, pimp.

That's how you move. Step it up.

So, now that we're partners in crime...

how about telling me your real name.

The reason that I ask that...

is because I don't know

if you gave it any thought since last night...

but I've been thinking about it.

And seeing... You know, looks like

now we're both going to be leaving.

So I thought, you know...

All right, look.

I'm gonna lay it all out there for you

right now.

I'm just gonna say it,

because, you know, here I am.

- I think...

- Larry.

You know I haven't done

this kind of thing hardly ever.

The whole man thing...

doesn't really

hold that much for me, usually.

I know.

But somehow you got through.

Somehow.

But in the end...

I don't think

I could ever be what you really want.

- So where do you think you'll go?

- I don't know.

Somewhere clean.

You know, Northern California...

Oregon maybe.

You could just drop me off

near the Pacific Coast Highway...

- and I'll figure it out from there.

- Okay.

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