Girl Walks Into a Bar Page #3

I trust my wife

implicitly on all matters.

Give me ten minutes,

I'm finishing this hand,

I'll get you your money.

See I'm in a little bit of a hur-

No, no, no, just have a drink

Tommy, give my dentist a drink.

There's a singer coming up,

really good voice, relax.

Dress

Excuse me?

Dress mess

Uh, I got no idea what

you're talking about.

Down with the manners up with the dress.

Johnny sweet-talked

Alice into this mess.

Is that some kind of a rhyme?

Into duress.

You some kind of poet?

Now, now she's depressed

- Now who's depressed?

- That could work.

Down with the manners,

up with the dress.

Johnny sweet-talked

Alice, now who's depressed?

It's ambiguous.

Could be Johnny's the

one who's depressed.

I get it, you're the singer here.

Teddy Wright.

Nick.

Are you in some sort of trouble?

Why do you say that?

You just got a puzzling way about you.

You know, you should

mind your own business.

Well, I didn't mean to antagonize you.

I was just under the impression

that a bar is like a church,

a place where a guy

can go to be left alone

and think in peace.

One would think so.

Yeah, one would be wrong, wouldn't one?

Don't get all riled up now.

I'm just saying.

Man:
One more time, Teddy Wright.

Farewell, my sinking ship.

Down with the manners up with the dress

Johnny sweet talked Alice into this mess

No you don't bring checkers

to the big game of chess

You know that only bad can come

Down with the shutters

up with the lights

Johnny sweet-talked Alice

all through the night

No world full of kisses

gonna make it all right.

You know that only bad can come

Listen to your ma

Listen to your pa

Listen to your heart

Listen to the law

Only bad can come

Down with the manners up with the dress

Johnny sweet-talked

Alice now who's depressed

Now you don't bring checkers

to the big game of chess

You know that only bad can come

You know that only bad can come "

Dentist, I got the good

news and I got the bad news.

The good news, I have

your money, don't worry,

but I can't give it to you tonight.

I don't see how that's good news for me.

No that's the bad news

Um, okay, I just really-

I need that money tonight.

I:

- I know, but I don't have it here.

Yeah, it's right there.

I can't get it until tomorrow.

But I-

I just-

I need it, I really need it tonight.

I understand.

That's why when Billy told me his idea,

I said, "Ah-ha!

We kill two birds, one

stone, everybody's happy."

What idea?

Billy has to go pick

something up for me tonight,

but he can't go alone.

So he said, why don't you go with him?

This way you can get your money.

What does he have to pick up?

- Money.

- Money... for you.

Yeah money for me

Look, Mr. Aldo, I mean,

all due respect here,

I don't want to get

involved in your business.

What business is that?

It's none of my business.

Don't get cute with me,

what business is that?

I don't know, I'm a dentist.

Oh, oh, so that okay, you're a dentist.

That means you're not

accountable for what you say?

What business?

Look, all I'm saying is,

you know, you know some guys.

I know some guys?

Yeah, sure, I know some guys.

BMW knows some guys

Everybody knows some guys

Well, for example, I don't.

I don't know any guys,

that's all I'm saying.

All you're saying.

Yeah

But it's how you're

saying, is a little...

I don't know.

A more sensitive man might

think you might be insulting him.

No no no no-no no

That is the last thing I want to do.

Good, then the quicker

you go with Billy,

the quicker you get your 20Gs

- Howdy

- Howdy

What can I get you?

I'm looking for a

girl I here comes here,

she's got a tattoo on her

shoulder that says, "Lucky you."

Oh, well, lots of people come here.

I can't check out every tattoo.

Is that her?

No

How can you be sure?

I'm not, I don't know.

Why pick her and not her?

You didn't look

surreptitiously in her direction

when I mentioned the tattoo.

You want a drink or what?

Look, she's not in any

trouble, but a guy she knows is

and I don't have a lot

of time to find him.

I just serve drinks, you know?

Help me out?

Some of the girls from Chick

Planet come here after work.

I think maybe I've seen

Lucky eat with those two.

You are a princess.

What are they drinking?

Uh, Tonga Lei and a Zombie.

Lei's do two more of those

I'm looking for a friend

of yours with a tattoo

that says "Lucky you"

She's not in trouble,

but a guy she knows is,

and I need to find him right away.

What did he do?

He stole my wallet...

but that's not what I'm after.

- Sorry it's not funny

- Yeah, Sorry

He took evidence from

a case I'm working on.

- Did you do him?

- Excuse me?

Friggin' Henry mam

That's him.

- Did you do him?

- Excuse me?

- He's really suave.

- He's not a bad kid.

Are you gonna arrest him?

He just loves himself the ladies.

I don't care about him except

to get back what he took.

I don't know where he is.

Well, what about his girlfriend?

What girlfriend?

The one with the tattoo.

- Teri?

- That's his sister.

Can you call her?

She should be here any minute,

but I don't know that

she knows where he is.

Okay, this is a

life-or-death situation.

Henry's secret is that he's a

really talented photographer.

So he said.

He did?

That's unlike him, he's usually

very modest about that stuff.

I think it's because he

really cares about it.

What are you good at?

What do you mean?

You look like you're

really good at something,

and I can't figure out what it is.

Me, I prefer to be

amused than to be amusing,

but this weed is making me so paranoid.

I'm usually really articulate.

No problem.

It all goes back to my

fear of being buried alive.

You're afraid of that?

I think about it a lot.

Detective!

Yeah yeah second Worst

What's worse?

Dying in your sleep.

Why... that seems like the best way.

That's what they want you to think.

- Who? -

Grown-ups.

The people running things

and the church, you know?

They don't really want you

to stop and think about it.

How so?

Well, everybody thinks

that dying in your sleep

is the best way to go, but

it scares the hell out of me.

I mean, what if you're

having a nightmare

and you're being chased by someone

or you're about to jump off a cliff

and then you have a

heart attack and die?

I mean, everybody just thinks,

"Oh, they went

peacefully, it's so great.

Okay, I have a problem

with authority, I admit it.

Blah blah blah.

It is the worse way to go.

I just left her a

message and I texted her,

so We just gotta Watt

Thank you

No friggin' way, look

who just walked in.

Oh no

Who is it?

A real creep from Chick Planet,

he must have followed us.

He's in love with Teri.

Don't look over, don't look.

Detective Francine Driver.

He's coming over.

Lathes

hey, do you know what winks

and screws like a tiger?

No

I'm Ralph.

Detective Francine Driver.

Okay, pirate captain Ralph,

expert at pillaging booty.

We're off work, man, give us a break.

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