Go West Page #4

We don't want to appear

like we're not grateful.

We're gonna give you $500.

$500? I came up here intending to cheat

those two fellows out of $10,000.

You want me to cheat them out of $500?

What do you think I am? A cheat?

It's impossible.

I just got another idea.

We are not gonna pay you nothing.

That's one way of reducing your overhead.

- I want that deed back.

- Not a chance.

- Baxter, I want that deed back.

- Not a chance.

I'm not through with you yet.

There's a law in this state.

Before you call in the law,

there's something I want to show you.

Wait a minute! I'll fix that.

- See that shelf down there by the bar?

- Yes.

- Do you see the bottles on the shelf?

- Yes.

- Do you see the corks on the bottles?

- Yes.

- You see that man sleeping at the table?

- Yes.

- See his nose?

- Yes.

- See the fly on the end of his nose?

- Yes.

You've certainly got good eyesight.

- Here, water! Give him some water.

- Brandy.

Force brandy down my throat.

Where's the dime I lent you?

Look, the bag is empty.

Where's the money?

I gave them the deed,

but they refused to give me the $10,000.

I'd have hit them within an inch

of their lives, but I'd no tape measure.

You said you was an embezzler, but

you don't fool me. I knew you was a crook.

There's only one law in the West:

The law of blood and bullets.

It's either shoot or get shot.

- What are we gonna do?

- Sue 'em.

Come on, Rusty.

We'll show them you're not afraid.

Look out, Red!

This must be the house.

Listen. It's nice.

She must be the girl who minds the baby.

Don't be afraid of us, miss.

We're friends of Dan Wilson.

- You are?

- Sure.

Any resemblance between

these two characters and living persons...

is purely accidental.

Come in.

I didn't mean to be rude.

I was expecting someone else.

Won't you sit down, please?

I thought I knew all of Grandpa's friends

but I don't seem to recognize you.

Of course not. You don't know me.

People who know him

don't recognize him either.

Could we please see

Dan Wilson's little granddaughter?

- I'm his granddaughter.

- I'm expecting a baby.

You'd make a wonderful mother.

Are you sure you're not a little baby?

Because we brought you a present.

- It's lovely.

- Yeah, that's the best one we could steal.

Now Dan Wilson's got two little babies.

Do you know where my grandpa is?

I'm awfully worried about him.

He has a deed to some property

the Railroad wants to buy...

- and we can't find him.

- Your grandpop ain't got the deed.

- You know who's got the deed?

- No.

Your grandpop.

- Is anything wrong?

- No.

- Is something wrong with Grandpa?

- No, everything is fine.

That's good.

He's been so wonderful to me.

Gone without things

just so I could have them.

Now he'll be able to have everything

he's always wanted and couldn't afford.

He'll be able to go places

he's read about and couldn't see.

It'll be wonderful for us, too.

Terry and me, I mean.

We can get married.

Just one little thing happens

and the whole world is different.

- There is something wrong, isn't there?

- The only thing wrong...

is that your grandfather's deed

is in Red Baxter's safe.

Red Baxter? My grandfather

wouldn't have anything to do with him.

- He knows he's a crook.

- We didn't.

You see, Miss Wilson, your grandfather

gave the deed to these boys.

Security for a loan.

And Red Baxter stole it from them.

Don't worry. You couldn't help it.

But if you see Grandpa,

don't mention it to him.

What almost happened, I mean.

You see, he's old.

What about this Terry?

We're young. Another miracle will happen.

You're right. Come on, miracle men.

We also double at weddings as best men.

Will you keep quiet?

We've gotta work fast.

Baxter might come back.

Don't be afraid. If any trouble starts,

we'll telephone for help.

Telephone? This is 1870.

Don Ameche hasn't invented

the telephone yet.

The safe's in there. Come on.

- There she is, gentlemen. Proceed.

- That's a boy.

- Come on, Mary Lou. We can relax in here.

- Okay.

Those dopes

are trying to crack open the safe.

Send for Baxter and the boys.

- Where are they?

- I don't know. Find them!

How will I find them?

I don't know where they are.

Wait a minute.

- Did you say something?

- I no say nothing.

If it's me, my voice is certainly changing.

Carry on.

You dope!

That will teach you. Never trust me again.

Listen, you bring back some drinks,

and I'll try to keep them here.

- Can you handle all three?

- No.

Better bring another girl.

That redhead's a demon.

I could swear I heard voices.

There's nothing to worry about.

They're in the next room.

They are?

It's you.

I wish you'd stop talking to yourself.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm busy.

- Why, honey child.

- I'm not that busy.

Let's go somewhere

where we can be alone.

There doesn't seem to be anyone

on this couch.

I got a hunch Quale ain't got

his mind on his business.

Who hasn't?

That don't look like Red Baxter.

I beg your pardon,

I thought you were Mr. Baxter.

My eyes aren't what they used to be.

- Who do you wish to see?

- Not "who. " Whom do you wish to see?

I thought you were up here

looking for the deed.

I was just trying to find out

what she knows.

She looks like she knows plenty,

but not about the deed.

Come on, let's go back to work.

- Hello, boys.

- Maybe we can work in here.

No, I think we better toddle along.

We'll be back later, girls.

- Me, alone.

- Me, too.

- Did you get Baxter?

- Yes, he's on his way.

- Did you miss me?

- Hello, lambie-pie.

Sure, now, you can't up and leave us.

Gentlemen, how would you all like

a mint julep?

It's been years since I've tasted

the nectar of the Old South.

However, if you insist.

I take one, too,

just so he don't drink alone.

We get them drunk, then they won't know

what we're here after.

That's right, blabbermouth,

keep it a secret.

You keep them busy,

and I'll help Rusty crack open the S-A-F-F.

You're a one-man fifth column.

- You wanna know something?

- Not a great deal.

Dixie just wouldn't be Dixie

without a mint julep.

And you know something else, Scarlett?

Dixie wouldn't be Dixie without Dixie.

My compliments on this julep, ladies.

It's as sweet as you are, and twice as cool.

- Have another one, honey child.

- I'll take one more.

If you insist, I'll have eight more.

Come on, let's sing.

Mint juleps always make me sing.

Let's just drink.

How about some more mint juice?

- No, come on, let's sing.

- Yeah, come on.

- Come on, girls, we'll all sing now.

- Let's sing!

How about another drink?

Don't put any ice in mine.

It takes up too much room.

Gentlemen, let's drink to the South,

land of milk and honey.

The bee who collected this honey

must have some hangover.

A toast to where we girls was born:

South Carolina.

Mississippi.

Louisiana.

I thought these girls were sisters.

They are,

but their mother lived in a trailer.

It's a funny thing. I'm not drunk,

but what's the ceiling doing on the floor?

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