Goddess Page #4

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- I need the toilet.

Thanks for the gig.

For all this.

I'm having so much fun.

I'm sorry about today.

I'm sorry if...

Oh, sorry, schmorry.

You're doing brilliantly.

And if I may make a prediction,

it's going to make you famous.

- Really?

- Mm-hm.

Tell me about you.

Are you married?

Jettisoned the husband, darling.

When you're breaking through

the glass ceiling,

there are bound to be

casualties.

Well, angel, he could barely do

wee-wees standing up by himself.

Honestly, no loss there.

Any kids?

No, no,

never did the kid thing.

Oh, look.

Oh!

Here we have

a tower of lobster tail,

fried quail egg topped with

fresh Sydney rock oyster

and an icing

of crushed beluga caviar

accompanied by sauce Choron.

Thank you.

Ooh! Mmm!

Mmm!

- Elspeth!

- What?

You just murdered an entire

symphony of taste sensations.

Sorry. Just so excited to eat

a meal I haven't cooked myself.

- Here.

- Oh, no, it's yours.

- Honestly, I'm not hungry.

- Oh, OK.

Now, one more time

with feeling.

Savour the sluttish luxuriance

of the oyster.

Let the juices

have their wicked way with you.

Love it like

you're not supposed to.

Aren't we naughty?

It's such a lovely night.

I think I'm going to walk

back to the hotel.

Yes, of course,

but before you go,

I want you to do

something for me.

I want you

to repeat after me,

"I am Elspeth Dickens, goddess!"

No!

Come on. You've got

a big photoshoot tomorrow.

I need you to be

in the right headspace.

Think of it as

a branding exercise.

What brand of woman are you?

I am Elspeth Dickens,

goddess!

Yes, you are.

See you at the studio. 7am sharp.

# Oh, my, here's a beauty

# She's a real cutie

# Think I feel a duty

to put her in my song. #

- What's your name, darling?

- I'm Elspeth Dickens, goddess.

# Elspeth is a goddess

- # And she is very modest... #

- Mm-hm.

# She is much too pretty

to be alone in this big old city

# Oh, Elspeth Dickens,

my heart quickens

# But I ain't easy pickins

'Cause you walk like

# You walk like

You walk like

# 10 chickens. #

- I'm sorry, but it rhymes.

- Rubbish.

# I have to play here

# Don't disappear, dear... #

# She flies like a seagull... #

Still rubbish!

# And people... #

So that's

the Megaptera novaeangliae.

- That's the humpback whale.

- Moo!

- No, that's a cow, OK?

- But this...

Thank you.

That's the noise he makes

as well.

So this...

...is the Globicephala melaena -

that's the pilot whale.

That's the mighty

sperm whale.

'Bye, chaps.

Wish me luck.

Darling, Botticelli's

Venus doesn't have any clothes.

Can't I be the Mona Lisa

instead, then?

No, precious. You're a goddess.

That's the whole point.

I'm not a goddess.

I'm a mother with stretch marks.

We can fix all that.

Trust me. You'll look perfect.

But isn't the whole point

that I'm not perfect?

That I'm a normal mother

who still has a life?

Angel, the earth mother is dead.

People want to see mums portrayed

as bold and sexy.

I don't want

to take my clothes off.

I'm a singer,

not a centrefold.

Ralph!

Ah... Elspeth,

I think you look... hot.

But not like a... not a dirty hot.

Like a... a... a classy hot.

And... you know,

and twice as rich.

Your hair's covering

your boo... hip... your bips.

Your... your bits.

Do you think we could use

a model's body

and just

stick her head on it?

You're missing the point!

I don't feel right

about being plastered

over the arse end of a bus

with whoever's body

I happen to be wearing

stark bloody naked!

Hello?

Cassandra?

Cassandra?

Do you want people

to hear your songs?

Yes, of course.

Then you need exposure.

- Yeah, but I didn't think...

- Everything costs.

Everything has a price.

You want some of this,

you give up some of that.

I'm sorry, I just don't think

I should give up...

Oh, come on, Elspeth -

both you and I know

you would do backflips naked across

Sydney Harbour Bridge

to get where

you want to go.

And that's OK.

But be that person.

Don't pretend to be

this dreary little house mouse

clutching onto her modesty.

It's dishonest.

I don't want to be naked.

That's not dishonest.

What is dishonest

is wasting time in here

so you can feel better

about making the compromise

you know you have to make

out there.

What is dishonest is keeping

an entire studio

full of professionals waiting

while you pretend you're not

an extremely ambitious

young woman

who knows exactly

what she must do

to get where

she wants to go.

That is dishonest.

Breathe. Take a deep breath.

Take a break.

Take a moment for yourself.

And then it's back out there

to do the job

you're being paid to do.

OK?

# A foolish

little princess wanted all

# See her pride

See her fall

# Somewhere in the fountain

# A magic fish

swims and sings

# Be careful what you wish... #

# Danger in the air now

What, what, what you want?

# Is this what you really want?

Your fairytale unfolds, wow

# What, what, what you want?

# Is this

what you really want?

# Princes may be

really frogs

# Look out for

three-headed dogs

# Sleeping there in hollow logs

# Be careful what you wish

- # Careful, don't play the fool

- # Ah

# You may be forced to duel

- # Did you set out to rule?

- # Ah

# When you get it

Ah hah hah hah

# Is this what

you came here for?

- # Ah

- # Beware of the golden doors

# You get what

you're asking for

# When you get it

Ah hah hah hah hah hah

# Did you want the crown now?

# What, what, what you want?

# Is this what

you really want?

# You're in lost-and-found now

# What, what, what you want

# Is this

what you really want?

# Build a castle made of sand

# There's something loose

out in the land

# May not be

what you have planned

# Be careful what you wish

- # Careful, don't play the fool

- # Ah

# You may be forced to duel

# And did you

set out to rule?

# When you get it

Ah hah hah hah

# Was this

what you came here for?

# Beware of the golden door

# You get what

you're asking for

# When you get it

Ah hah hah hah hah hah. #

- They uploaded your webcasts!

- Oh, great!

- Which made the server collapse.

- Oh, no.

No, no, no, that's great!

The server collapsed

because every man and his dog

is logging on

to watch you.

So, drum roll, please.

Cassandra pitched an idea

to the client.

I have suggested that instead of

wasting Elspeth Dickens

on the Asia-Pacific campaign,

they use her

to spearhead the...

...international launch!

Rich! Rich!

You'll be rich, I tell ya!

They've asked for a day or two

to consult the powers that be,

but what this means in the

short term is that I need you here,

ready to jump

when they say jump.

Oh, that's great, but I'm on

the six o'clock flight.

- Uh, no, cancelled it.

- But the kids, James!

They're expecting me home.

Don't get me wrong.

This is wonderful.

But I have to have

a conversation with my husband...

Ralph, go to the lobby and fetch me

a sparkling mineral water.

Yep. There's one

in the minibar.

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