Gone Doggy Gone Page #4

There's proper protocol you have

to follow!

These things take time, guys!

Come on! If I just grabbed her

that's battery, okay?!

Stop following me, go back to

your motel...

and I'll call ya when I get the

dog. How 'bout that?

We'll stay at my Mom's in New

Mexico-

Yes! New Mexico! Let's do this!

And then we'll get back on our

feet and hit the road, Thelma!

Arf! Arf! Arf!

Just had a very interesting

conversation with the Harmons.

They are not happy.

Said you took all kinds of

photos of that girl,

and then let her get

away. Is that right?

t is right, but I-I was

establishing a pattern of

behavior to determine my rescue

approach.

Danny! What did I say? KISS.

K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid!

You know where she is right?

Yes. Yes. I'm tailin' her right

now. I got her in my sights.

Ah. Yeah, well, uh, then I don't

see what the problem is.

Mmmm. Get the Goddamn dog!

Hello?

Stan and Dan Janson.

Private Investigators

at your ser-

Barracks were utterly destroyed.

Most of the Military Personnel

of approximately 20 thousand...

were wiped out. The distorted

steel framework is all that...

remains of a building which

stood four...

Did Dan respond to your

text or call or anything?

Let's see, thirty seconds ago

he didn't respond...

a minute ago he didn't respond,

two minutes ago-

Okay! I get it. Don't

be a dick about it.

Sorry. I'm annoying myself.

What's this? You're a smoker

tryin' to quit, huh?

Nope. Just spearmint.

Ah. Cutesy little doll. Maybe a

little drug trafficking?

No. Just a doll. Whoa. That's

uh...

That doll's had a rough time.

Whoa. Look at you, Jill. What's

this for, huh? Stabbin'?

Doin' one of these?! Doin' one

of these to somebody?!

Heh heh.

You're goin' down, babe.

You are being tracked by a

professional. Uhh. Kay.

Puppy rescue. Children's

Hospital.

She saves whales. She saves

everyone.

Hmph.

Oh, Jill.

- Arf! Arf! Arf!

- Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!

- Kat, go for a walk or something.

- You're driving us crazy.

Stop it.

I can't. Devon took my medicine.

- It's not medicine.

- It's a crutch.

If it makes me feel better, it's

medicine.

- What's up? It's okay. I'm cool.

- See I have a license.

It's my get out of jail free

card. Like if a cop came by,

you could hand it to

me and we'd be cool.

Phew...

- Oh, yes... You saved my life.

- Can I buy a little off you,

or a lot? I mean, however much

you can spare. I'm desperate,

well not desperate, okay, I'm

desperate. I-I'm travelling

with The Borings. Looking for

their kidnapped dog. The amount

of ransom they're spending on

that dog could feed a village

in Somalia. I mean, I do

love Africa though. I've been to

Okay, just, shut

up... please.

It's a hundred.

What?! That's not even an

eighth. I've got like twenty

bucks! Wait! I'll grab some cash

off The Borings. They're just a

few doors down. It'll

only take me a sec. Did I tell

you that I love your tattoo? I

almost got a tribal tattoo once

in Fiji, but Ichickened out when

I saw the size of the needle. I

mean it was this giant

porcupine quill covered

in blood. Now, this was the 80's

and AIDS was no laughing

matter. I was like, okay, stick

that in my ass HIV.

Ah! Thank you! Thank

you! Thank you!

B*tch.

SOUND:

- Dan texted. Checking in.

- Capturing suspect. Have

cash ready. Please stop calling

my Dad!

Yes!

Abby and Eliott

SOUND:

Sh*t. Oh, oh, sh*t, Eliott.

I'm starving. I'm gonna go

to the Creamy Cone.

Okay. I'm just gonna stay

here and do nothin'.

Okay.

Hi.

- Oh, driving on the spare.

- Do you happen to have

a spare spare? I'm

so... that's a dumb j-I don't

know wha-I could

drive you to the gas

- Oh, I don't have any money.

- I lost my purse.

Bummer. Where ya headed?

My Mom's near Santa Fe.

Actually it's your lucky day.

I'm-I'm headed to Santa Fe on

a, on a business get to-tr-trippy thing.

Business trip. It's weird,

yeah? Coincidence, right that-

that we both go to the same

place 'n stuff, Goddamnit Jill.

SOUND:

Cute dog.

Thanks.

Hey, I found a D-

Take your clothes off! Now

Mother F***er!

Take your f***ing clothes off!

SOUND:

Do whatever they tell you!

Okay.

Female Robber Come on!

Hurry the F*** up!

I am! I'm taking them

off! I'm taking them off!

Hurry up!

I am! I can't go any faster!

Come on!

Everything!

They weren't

finished. Take it all off, now!

Seriously. I'm not going

anywhere in this-

Oww!!! Okay.

Hurry up!

Wallets, purses, in a pile now!

Hurry the F*** up.

Where's the rest? Where's

the rest?

Hurry up!

Where's the rest!

I'll blow his f***ing globe

to bits! I will f***ing do it!

It's in the bathroom!

Go get it, baby! Go get it!

I got it! I got it.

Let's fly, baby.

Have fun with The Borings.

SOUND:

Whoohoooo!!!

SOUND:

SOUND:

Thank you for coming to our

rescue, Dan

Oh, pfft, it's no big deal

really.

No, it is, I don't know how

much longer we would have

lasted out here, so...

thanks.

You don't have to keep

thankin' me.

Well, if you'd accept my thanks,

I'd stop thanking you.

Fair enough, you're welcome.

Thank you.

Dan and Jill

Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah,

well, I don't-

- You got me confused.

- Okay.

Holy Be-Jesus!

What?!

I have the same affirmation

note!

Oh, my gosh.

- Wow! This is unbelievable.

- Unbelievable! And to think if

my car hadn't broken down

and you hadn't stopped to

save us, well we'd never know

that there was someone else

out there on the same lonely highway

with the same motto. Wow, right?

Yeah. Yeah, wow.

There are no coincidences.

Well, that went well.

I feel like they thought we

were in some smarmy

Greek threesome.

How are we gonna pay

for the rooms?

Why did they target us? What

did we do to them?

Sometimes bad things happen

to good people.

Run.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Go! Go! Go!

So, why are you going to

your Mom's house?

Oh! Umm... it's... Christmas,

heh. Summertime Christmas!

You know we... we missed it last

year, so... so we're doing it

now. Be both... we both have

just been so busy, you know,

and... and we never miss a

holiday. We're very close.

She taught me everything I know

about sandwiches.

Yeah, Dean, I know. I know I'm

late. I know, okay, uh, what did

you say the cross streets

were again? Hold on, just,

right. Okay, okay I have to get

off the phone somebody's,

somebody's here. Okay, talk to

you later. Bye.

- What are you doing here?

- You could have called.

I tried, but you didn't pick up.

Tell your boyfriend to move the car.

I'm late for a showing.

What?!

Mom... I'm in big trouble.

Oh, Drama. Here we go. I'm

not giving you any more money.

I can't.

Please hold her for me.

Make it quick.

I need-to talk to you.

I can't hear you when you're

whining, Bunny. Spit it out!

Could you please turn off your

phone!

Ugh, believe me I'd love to, but

I'm obligated to my clients. Oh

hi, Sally. Ah, yes, I'm on the

way. Ah... the code is 8-5-6-7-9

hmm... uh... sorry can

you hold for just a moment?

Could I stay with you? Just

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