Goods Page #5

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because you're stealing from us.

You guys have got an amazing deal,

I can't believe it.

Mom! Mom!

- How we doing?

- Kicking ass.

I was worried earlier,

but we're gonna have a great day.

- Check out that Blake kid. He's on fire.

- Yeah, I noticed.

Wasn't that your move?

Well, mine ended

with the two-gun salute to heaven,

but it's damn close.

You remember when I told you

that I partied with that beauty queen

I didn't put a hat on my jimmy.

Jesus, Don. You don't think

Blake's your son, do you?

I'll tell you what,

why don't you guys go to finance

- and I'll meet you there, all right?

- Okay.

That's impressive, Blake.

You're a natural.

Spend a lot of time

growing up around dealerships?

No, but my mom always said

that I had it in my blood.

I remember this one time as a kid,

I traded my crappy Huffy bike to this kid

down the block

for his brand-new shiny Schwinn.

- No sh*t.

- No sh*t, Don.

Hey, was your old man around a lot

when you were growing up?

No. He took off before I was born.

I'm gonna go back to the sale, Don.

- Blake, how old are you?

- Twenty-two.

Hey, kid. Don.

Remember that guy

that wanted the Explorer?

Here's what I got him to do.

Buy his own house from himself for $1,

which means nothing, but to the bank...

Don.

- Hey.

- What's going on?

Good job.

What'd I do, Don?

F*** you, I don't need your validation.

Look at that number.

Seventy-one cars sold.

I am looking at some

real salesmen out here. Good work.

Yeah, we've actually sold 34%

of the inventory.

Wow! I'm proud of you.

And, by the way, congrats,

whoever pulled off a Nigerian buyback,

haven't seen that in years.

- That was me. You can suck it.

- What's a Nigerian buyback?

Guy takes a customer's trade-in,

then 20 minutes later,

sells it right back to said customer

at a mark-up.

And we're looking at

an even better day tomorrow.

Bo Bice's brother coming in here

to sing some tunes.

Shut up. Eric Bice?

The very same.

So, I think we do a little celebrating.

And after a hot first day,

there's only one way to do it. 'Okie.

- What?

- What's 'okie?

Tell them about it, Dick.

He's talking about karaoke,

you f***ing queers.

God damn,

Dick knows what I'm talking about.

- Let's go. Let's get into it.

- Nice job, everybody.

I've been watching you out there, girl.

Your moves are probably responsible

for 10 sales.

Well, any individual who pursues

his or her own self interest

actually promotes

the interest of society as a whole.

It's all trade, baby.

That's what makes the world go 'round.

That's funny. I always thought

love made the world go 'round.

See you.

Love.

Boy, you should be proud.

You took a rag-tag bunch of losers and

turned them into first-rate salesmen.

That's what I do, Ben.

- Hello, Ben.

- Hello, Stu.

Looks like you guys had a heck of a day.

Hey, Paxton, Lance Bass called.

He said he... F***ing forget it.

Yeah, like he would have your number.

Hey, Lance Bass never opened

for O-Town.

My boy did. You can google it.

Yeah, I told them that already, Dad.

They refused to google it.

Well, let me cut to the chase

for you here, Ben.

My boy Paxton's band, Big Ups,

they're really starting to click,

and we're running out of rehearsal

space over at Harding lmports.

So Paxton had a good idea.

He said why not make an offer

on your lot,

nice price, before the bank gets it?

That way,

Paxton's out front selling Beemers,

then he runs around the back,

makes gold records. What do you think?

I don't know, Stu.

We had a pretty good day here.

We had an outstanding day.

Don't be all humble, Ben. Come on.

All right, hold it, Don.

Give us a couple minutes alone,

will you?

- You got it, Ben.

- You too, Paxton.

Hey, you know, even if Ben doesn't sell,

we're gonna get this place for pennies

on the dollar when he goes B-rupt.

Really? You're gonna screw over

your future father-in-law?

It's called business, Don. Okay?

And besides, I would do anything

to take Big Ups worldwide.

So, lvy isn't enough for you?

You have a crush on my fiance.

That is rich!

Here's the deal, old-timer. Get over it.

Here is why

I'm not threatened by that at all.

- A, I have a beautiful car.

- Yeah.

- B, I have a $44 haircut.

- Right.

Yeah, and C, I have slick threads. Yeah.

- Men's Wearhouse. I like the way I look.

- Right.

I'm Temecula's newest hard-on, dog.

A, it looks like you just snapped into

a Slim Jim.

B, your suit looks like it was...

- I'm glad we could work all this out, Ben.

- Work what out?

Well, Don, it's time I start thinking

about my future grandkids.

I sold the lot to Stu.

He made me a real good offer.

Thank you for your support,

and you'll be paid

for the whole four days.

But we're pulling the plug.

Can we get all of their stuff

out of here, pronto?

We want to rehearse here tonight.

Hold on. Hold on a second.

What about family? What about history?

What if we save this lot?

What if I could guarantee you

that I could sell every car off this lot?

Ben, that's foolish.

You don't even know this guy.

Look at him.

He's a gun for hire, a tramp.

Don, we're talking about over 140 cars.

Sure, it'd help the lot,

but that's impossible.

All right.

Look, either I sell every car on this lot,

or I leave Temecula

and get out of the game for good.

- Doesn't move me at all.

- And you get Brent Gage for the night.

Sorry, Stu, but the deal's off,

at least till I see how this thing pans out.

Okay.

You know,

since you're almost family, Ben,

here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna save you a job on my lot,

after the bank forecloses on yours.

Damn it. Why are they standing

in the way of my dreams, Daddy?

Look it, here's the deal.

Call your TV guy. Tell him we got to cut

some new spots right away.

I have a script for you, never fails.

More than words

Is all you have to do to make it real

Wait, now, so,

he offered to pay us off

and we could leave town flush.

And you said no.

Yep.

- Motherf***er.

- Hey, chill, chill!

Come on, man, calm down. It's Don.

He wouldn't do it

if he didn't have a good reason.

And then I told Ben

that if we don't sell all the cars

that he could have Brent for the night.

- Motherf***er...

- All right. All right.

- Jibby, handle him.

- Calm down. Calm down now.

All right, here's the scenario, all right?

Tomorrow, I'm gonna sell

an assload of cars.

And I suggest

you gentlemen do likewise.

What the hell we gonna do?

Why don't we chill a little bit, Jibs?

Just chill. Okay, it's cool.

Don said we got

TV spots tomorrow, right?

Bice is hitting town.

We're gonna pull this off.

I'm gonna hit you with a little Seger.

Superbad, eyes up here, let's focus.

This one goes out to Blake.

It's about a boy, the son of a man,

a mother's child.

Let's get him a tissue,

'cause it's about to get raw.

What the f*** is wrong with that guy?

On a long and Ionesome highway

East of Omaha

Okay, I got to ask you a question.

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